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Having dealt with MDD and other things for almost 20 years now, I thought I knew this mental stuff in and out but lately things are changing. For example, I had a wonderful lunch with three friends today (2 of them are in town from Atlanta and the third I had just met today) and felt really good and positive but this evening I had a crying fit and the inevitable thoughts that rack my brain during this kind of episode. I'm sure you all know the drill "Why does everything have to be so difficult fo rme?" Or "I can't believe that I'll ever be well enough to function like a normal human being" etc. The hopelessness and isolation feelings run full throttle in my brain. To have gone from hanging out with friends and having a great time (Which has not been happening very often b/c of health/emotional issues) to hysterically crying a few hours later is something that has never really been a problem for me. My depressive episodes last weeks and there is no yo-yo like it has been lately.

So this brings me to my point - these roller coaster rides of emotions have started happening within the last few months so it is a first for me. I don't think it's bipolar because I am never "manic". I know there are different types of bipolar so I need to do some research on it and talk to the Pdoc. I would love everyone's thoughts on this matter.

Thanks

Bryan

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It could be that you're having a different type of MDD episode than you are used to. Atypical depression, for instance, is reactive and allows for feeling better in response to something good, then later crashing again. I have had some episodes that are reactive and some that are less so.

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Or maybe you are just better at hiding things? I can do ok in social settings for limited periods of time - I act normal, laugh, smile, crack a few jokes. And then I go home and act much like you do. I genuinely think being around people makes me worse - it reminds me of all the things I don't have.

There is a theory of "soft bipolar" that I'm not sure I buy, but I do know mood stabilizers have worked for me better than any other meds. It might be worth trying some lamictal or lithium.

Or maybe you're getting better?

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Depression causes emotional lability -- your mood is very changeable in response to very slight things. This is normal for depression. Nothing in what you have described really sounds like bipolar, although as pointed out some people without bipolar respond to mood stabilizers.

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