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Hi, I am not diagnosed with bipolar, but I have been getting mood swings that last a few days each over the last few weeks. Today was particularly bad; I was going to quit my job then take an overdose. I even lost it with my wife and started punching things (not her may I add!). It's starting to scare me because of what I may be capable of. For three days last week I was feeling great, but talking gibberish and being a fool. I thought everyone was great and just wanted to be the centre of attention. But today I am quiet and withrawn and people annoy me. Every little comment hurts like hell.

I get bullied at work and it is really to take hard when I am low. I'm really fed up with it. I'm seen as just a figure of fun. But am getting a refill on my scripts tomorrow so might take a load to end this existence.

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Hi, I am not diagnosed with bipolar, but I have been getting mood swings that last a few days each over the last few weeks. Today was particularly bad; I was going to quit my job then take an overdose. I even lost it with my wife and started punching things (not her may I add!). It's starting to scare me because of what I may be capable of. For three days last week I was feeling great, but talking gibberish and being a fool. I thought everyone was great and just wanted to be the centre of attention. But today I am quiet and withrawn and people annoy me. Every little comment hurts like hell.

I get bullied at work and it is really to take hard when I am low. I'm really fed up with it. I'm seen as just a figure of fun. But am getting a refill on my scripts tomorrow so might take a load to end this existence.

You're not alone... I can go in and out so fast that by the time I'm done writing my goodbye notes I feel better enough to throw them all away... Just knowing I *could* end it is sometimes enough to let me know that I do have some control over things.

I am glad you didn't hit your wife ...

Can you get in to see doc? therapist? take some time off work?

I just wanted to say you're not alone

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I think you should definitely call your pdoc. Mine says that if I feel suicidal (or just like dying, not having a plan) or like I want to harm myself that I am to call her right away. The last month or so I've thought about how nice it would be to just go to sleep and never wake up. I keep reminding myself that things will get better-be it with med changes or hospital or whatever (I don't always believe myself, but I repeat it in my head). That, and the fact that it would kill my husband for me to kill myself. Those are the things I try to cling to when I feel that way. Please call your doctor. Can you take some time off so that you don't have so much stress surrounding your job? I hope you start feeling better soon.

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Thank you all so much for your kind replies, it really does mean so much. I wish I had someone so understanding by my side at times like this. All I get at work when I am down is 'cheer up you miserable bastard'. They think they are so witty but infact they make it worse, I am just a laughing stock. Always have been and always will be. I have got CBT on friday and I might beg to be hospitlised. I need a break from life for a while otherwise I don't know what I will do. But then my mood might go up and I will feel great again. Don't know what mood I will be from one day to the next. I'm taking four meds for 'anxiety and depression' including lithium 600mg. When I last saw the pdoc he refused to raise this and said I must be taking it incorrectly! I just can't win.

Apart form posting on here I have no-one who I can turn to. My wife likes to think she cares but when we argue she tells me 'why don't you just take an overdose'.

Thanks again

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My blood lithium level was too low to be theraputic so instead of rasing it he decided I wasn't taking it properly.

Been feeling very suicidal today and on the verge of splitting up with my wife. But I've got a big bag of pills.

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I think you hit the nail on the head. Get your butt to the ER and tell them you're suicidal and need help. You're hitting bottom and I think you need some immediate help. Please don't wait any longer. Don't even think about it. Just please go.

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Thank you for your reply Stormienite. Unfortunatley A and E/ER is nearly 30 miles away from me, and I don't have a car. I once asked a CPN what would happen if I went to ER, he said I would see an on-call pdoc and be referred back to a CPN!!!!! I am seriously toying with the idea of olanzapine and alcohol as I have no one to turn to and feel very hopeless. Or another option would be to take tomorrow off work and visit a CPN and try to get them to refer me to hospital. I can't go on feeling like this as I have two young sons but I need some serious help. Don't know what to do.

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Posted Today, 11:23 AM

Or another option would be to take tomorrow off work and visit a CPN and try to get them to refer me to hospital. I can't go on feeling like this as I have two young sons but I need some serious help. Don't know what to do.

(Multiquote not working for me at the moment)

Beetzart,

This sounds like a really good plan, today-now would be even better. I understand you feel like you can't go on this way (I did the other night also-and the ppl here on CB were great support and I'm doing much better and you will too!!!!!) Responding to your last statement "Don't know what to do" please, leave the pills and alcohol alone. It sounds like you need to get a new pdoc, this one you saw-who insists you're not complying-when you know you are, is not providing the service you so desperately need right now. And please, if you're not in therapy now, seek it, because the marital problems you're having are really compounding your despair. Keep posting here!!! Do anything but take the permanent way out, though you can't see it right now, things will get much, much better for you! Seek any help available to you now (GP, CPN, anyone) get on the phone to them and a suicide hotline and please and keep us posted-Lav

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi all, my mood swings haven't changed and seem to be altering from day to day even hour to hour sometimes! The good thing is that at CBT today my therapist spent the entire session going over my symptoms in great detail with me. She is going to write a letter explaining this all to the pdoc before my appointment with him next week. She even pre-empted that I would discuss my moods by photocopying some mood charts for me to fill in. I hope they decide to take me more seriously now.

I nearly took an overdose on wednesday. My mood was fine at lunchtime but had deteriorated seriously by 3pm. On tuesday I was full of life and played a stupid game of caress the groove in the chair with a workmate. We thought it was great that there was a little groove in the chair and we rubbed our fingers in it for over 20 minutes laughing and joking while others looked on with shocked looks. I was told this was wierd and a very odd thing to do, plus was I in a fit state to work that afternoon. But it felt good.

Anyway they are a few examples of how my mood changes quickly. Does anyone else have such quick changes like that?

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I nearly took an overdose on wednesday. My mood was fine at lunchtime but had deteriorated seriously by 3pm. On tuesday I was full of life and played a stupid game of caress the groove in the chair with a workmate. We thought it was great that there was a little groove in the chair and we rubbed our fingers in it for over 20 minutes laughing and joking while others looked on with shocked looks. I was told this was wierd and a very odd thing to do, plus was I in a fit state to work that afternoon. But it felt good.

Anyway they are a few examples of how my mood changes quickly. Does anyone else have such quick changes like that?

YES I DO! I can go from super great and happy, then just start to feel this mishmash of terrible feelings boiling inside of me and crash so hard, and literally be wanting to die and seeing no hope, all within hours. It can be triggered by someone saying the wrong thing, or at least I take it wrong, as I am extremely oversensitive. And once I start spiraling down, I don't suddenly pop up as easily as I crashed down, I usually end the night sobbing, and I feel better in the morning, and either it will be a good day, or it will be another crazy day. It was especially bad this past month as I stopped taking Wellbutrin and started taking Lamicatal and Topomax. I think that the wrong meds can play a hand in these super fast ups and downs, at least that's what I'm noticing for myself. All I can say is that because you have kids, YOU MUST NOT KILL YOURSELF! That is the one thing that for sure will make me never be able to do it, my kids. Not only will it fuck them up, but anything good that you've done for them up to this point will be undone, because how will they be able to respect you? At the top of this forum I think is a topic that says something about if you want to kill yourself, and it says something about a person who commits suicide is seeking is relief, but relief is a feeling, and when you are dead you cannot feel relief, so really and truly it is pointless. Yes, you will no longer feel bad, but you won't even know that you don't feel bad! But a whole helluva lot of people still here on earth WILL feel bad, and for the rest of their life! Due to your seeking to NOT feel bad, but not even ending up attaining that! So I just wallow in the misery of wishing I could die, but I WILL NOT GO THERE! Just don't do it, ok?

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Thank you for your post. At the moment I have no intention of killing myself, but sometimes my mood just takes a nose dive and this is when I feel suicidal. I'm sure I would never do it but sometimes I feel right on the edge and something will push me over one day. That is the worry. I have a wonderful family and never want to lose them.

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Thank you for your post. At the moment I have no intention of killing myself, but sometimes my mood just takes a nose dive and this is when I feel suicidal. I'm sure I would never do it but sometimes I feel right on the edge and something will push me over one day. That is the worry. I have a wonderful family and never want to lose them.

I know exactly what you mean, I seem to be able to go to that point with the snap of a finger, just remember that however long that feeling lasts, it does end, and somehow there has to be a remedy. I think it's good to express it here because you have to vent it somewhere and it's better to do that than to really do it. I think you should have a serious talk with your wife when you are feeling strong and tell her that no matter how exasperated she is feeling, she should never tell you to just go overdose, because if it were to ever happen (though for your intentions are for it not to), she would not be able to forgive herself......

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