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I'm taking things way too personally. Someone says on facebook a comment and I take it wrong and even though I KNOW I'm sensitive it's still like I want to cancel my facebook account.

Sometimes it will be something someone says - the other day I said something about being prepared for an earthquake and my daughter sang "paranoia paranoia everybody is coming to get youuuuu" and it just hurt my feelings - the history behind that is before I was dx bp1, I would get manic and over shop for supplies in case of earthquake...like lots of stuff that we still have (from 2000-2001) it's gotten so much better and it's a reasonable amount of emerg supplies in case of earthquakes - I have to admit the Haiti earthquake has "woke up" the part of me that is scared we won't have enough supplies if an earthquake were to hit... so I stocked up some more - not a whole lot but just enough to get rid of the severe anxiety that came up.

I can understand her reaction to my statements about earthquake preps but it still hurt. I wanted to lash out (that lashing out urge is so strong isn't it?) but kept my mouth shut.

There's a petty part of me that says to myself "sure hope she doesn't need our fucking water if there's ever an earthquake"

What do you guys do to toughen up your skin? I just try to use "QTIP" - "quit taking it personally" - because it's all about me don'tchaknow? Tough to grow up and realize it's NOT all about me. But the qtip doesn't work all the time and I feel so thin skinned...

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I don't know how old your daughter is, but remember, until a certain age, all people think they are immortal.

But I have always had a hard time myself with the thin-skinned thing. I actually usually try to metaphorically count to ten, wait a day or two before I react. If I am still stewing over it, I try to, well, "confront" isn't quite the right word, but as calmly as possible, tell them that I had been thinking about what they said, and that it had concerned me, and I wondered if I were over-reacting. Sometimes, people will get very defensive, but hey, being thin-skinned goes both ways. But usually, they will explain what they meant, or apologize for speaking without thinking.

I am extremely verbal though. I don't know if that would work for everyone.

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She's almost 26 and since her response was written (on FB) it's hard to hear the tone of voice that it was meant in. I have learned over time that anything written is almost automatically going to be filtered through my state of mind and my thinking at the moment it is read.

She was probably just being silly as I have never heard her be mean about the things I do in my manic and other states... irritated that I was counting the water bottles again and again perhaps but not mean.

I'm a chicken shit that I don't like to ask people "hey, this is what you said and this is how I took it, is that what you meant?" kind of thing... I do it but I hate doing it. Funny thing is about asking people what they meant by what they said is that most of the time they didn't intend for it to be hurtful and are careful about how they say things in the future.

Still.... reality gets distorted and I really hate it when that happens.

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"paranoia paranoia everybody is coming to get youuuuu"

I don't have help on the substantive issue...but I did want to point out that this is also a song lyric from a song that would be right around your daughter's era (i.e. mine!). So that may have been the reason it came up. Could just be a strange coincidence, but the song came right into my head once I started reading it.

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I'm taking things way too personally. Someone says on facebook a comment and I take it wrong and even though I KNOW I'm sensitive it's still like I want to cancel my facebook account.

Sometimes it will be something someone says - the other day I said something about being prepared for an earthquake and my daughter sang "paranoia paranoia everybody is coming to get youuuuu" and it just hurt my feelings - the history behind that is before I was dx bp1, I would get manic and over shop for supplies in case of earthquake...like lots of stuff that we still have (from 2000-2001) it's gotten so much better and it's a reasonable amount of emerg supplies in case of earthquakes - I have to admit the Haiti earthquake has "woke up" the part of me that is scared we won't have enough supplies if an earthquake were to hit... so I stocked up some more - not a whole lot but just enough to get rid of the severe anxiety that came up.

I can understand her reaction to my statements about earthquake preps but it still hurt. I wanted to lash out (that lashing out urge is so strong isn't it?) but kept my mouth shut.

There's a petty part of me that says to myself "sure hope she doesn't need our fucking water if there's ever an earthquake"

What do you guys do to toughen up your skin? I just try to use "QTIP" - "quit taking it personally" - because it's all about me don'tchaknow? Tough to grow up and realize it's NOT all about me. But the qtip doesn't work all the time and I feel so thin skinned...

If I am unsure if something was unclear and I am taking it too personally I will call the person directly and ask them how they meant what they said. It is *so* easy to misinterpret words over the internet. I experienced the very same thing just the other day. It wasn't fun. I know how you feel, definitely. If I am feeling sensitive on a particular day I may just know that if I go on a site like facebook, etc. I will be encountering other people's information and words, and I do make an effort to remember that it's simply "social networking", and not someone talking TO my face. I hope that helps! Having my boyfriend here telling me these things over and over helps too when I get upset! lol. Good luck!biggrin.gif

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"paranoia paranoia everybody is coming to get youuuuu"

I don't have help on the substantive issue...but I did want to point out that this is also a song lyric from a song that would be right around your daughter's era (i.e. mine!). So that may have been the reason it came up. Could just be a strange coincidence, but the song came right into my head once I started reading it.

those ARE lyrics from that song!! lol

At the time I read them I could "hear" her singing them tauntingly... which is typical of how I read things when I am in that state of mind. The hell of it is, sometimes I don't have the awareness that I'm that sensitive until I read it...then "bam" it hits me and by then it's too late...

but yep, it's that song from that era

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i would love to learn how to be more thick skinned too! GOOD GOD am i sensitive. i feel for you. i have a horrible fear of tornadoes and have full on panic attacks when the weather is bad (and i live just on the edge of tornado alley). my daughter (10yrs) picks on me and acts like i'm overreacting which ticks me off and my poor son (7) panics with me.

i'm also REALLY sensitive about facebook comments. there are certain people who can always push my buttons and it will take me weeks to get over it.

how do we stop being so sensitive? i have no clue. i'm hoping someone will post with the magic recipe.

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What do you guys do to toughen up your skin? I just try to use "QTIP" - "quit taking it personally" - because it's all about me don'tchaknow? Tough to grow up and realize it's NOT all about me. But the qtip doesn't work all the time and I feel so thin skinned...

I guess I would suggest adding another acronym to your toolbox. F.E.A.R. false expectations appearing real. It's perfectly normal to prepare for something like an earthquake but you've done that and the odds that you are going to be killed in one are probably pretty small. Naturally, its easy to be scared by what you are seeing in Haiti but if you look at the ideas behind your fear, you may be able to get past it. I myself am more afraid of being homeless right now, or losing my house, but I look at that fear and realize it makes more sense for me to be excited about what the next step in my life will be even if it means taking a new job some place far from my current home.

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I'm getting thicker skinned every match but that's different in general anyway (in sports, a coach giving you a hard time is a signal: either that you're missing shit or the coach needs to be cautioned/sent off--so you check-in & respond accordingly). I take everything on FB as "light" and try not to let things get to me. It doesn't always work. I've blocked many relatives from my news feed because of their crass stoopit that I cannot tolerate.

All that to say, I hear ya. I'm reading the responses to try to pick up on some solutions I can use too.

I keep telling my mate I'm only paranoid because the cops keep following me and people are lookin' at me. It's just how it is.

I applaud your quake readiness. Too many folks aren't. The readystore dot com has great deals on easily transportable gear & supplies. We have a mobile/bikeable four person survive-in-place system plus our backpacking gear. We stocked up on TP and feminine products because those things are worth more than US currency in a disaster. It just ain't paranoid to be prepared. Period. fuck yer critics. They'll be the ones lining up for your tampons and TP and be sure to "charge" them the most for the least amount of stuff. (make 'em pay). Unless it's your kid... OTOH.... it might learn 'em, right? ;)

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You know there is a "remove" feature of FB where you can delete comments, right? I think deleting it would offend your daughter and would make her realize it was hurtful to you w/o having to say a word.

As for being prepared for earthquakes... DUH! We all need to do that!!! Earthquakes, floods, stranded in a car etc. It just makes sense. Jugs of water, some blankets, first aid kit and some canned food. Nothing at all wrong with that. Oh..a flashlight def. and extra batteries... okay I think I'm making this worse. lol I really should stock my car up in case of an emergency though. Especially in the winter.

Having a thick skin... it takes a lot of time. Do you really want to be so cold? It's not all that. I've lived it for 15+ years. What you really need to learn is how to stand up for yourself and say "screw you, I'll do whatever the hell I want".

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hahaha "SCREW YOU I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT"

I love it!

I did remove the FB comment - there was one night I was over reacting to someone's comment and I deleted every single status I have ever made since day one - I went allll the way back.

People notice it - 98% of my friends on FB are in AA and the other 2% are family. 1.5% of that family is mormon and I'm not so ... I say lots of things that offend them. I wish I could unfriend them because -of the shit that I say.

The people in AA notice that I remove my comments and sometimes entire threads based on my level of sensitivity that day. If I could "unfriend" someone and not have them notice I'd do that in a heartbeat... just disappear like a slow leaky tire and not be noticed exiting....

I just want to be ME and fuck the rest. Around my friends I'm the real me, around my family I'm the watered down "what do you expect I have religious family members" version of me so I keep my language toned down and try to be ...ummm...socially appropriate (that's funny to me and I don't know why)

Here at home I'm myself but I'm the watered down version of "doing what I gotta do as a wifey" - but hell, as of this morning, that flew out the window. Hmmm maybe I'm finally coming into my own eh?

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Hmmm maybe I'm finally coming into my own eh?

Actually, I think there is something to that. I'm in my last year of my 40s and with each passing year this decade I have been able to be slightly more objective and slightly less sensitive/paranoid. I really don't give a flying fuck about a lot of shit that used to make me crazy.

I think it's a great idea regardless to have provisions in the event of an emergency. JackBQuick just made me realize I don't have some of the more essential items.

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Here at home I'm myself but I'm the watered down version of "doing what I gotta do as a wifey" - but hell, as of this morning, that flew out the window. Hmmm maybe I'm finally coming into my own eh?

It's a great start! I always say this when people question me. "Look, I'm 41 years old. I've earned the right to do and say whatever the hell I want to". How could they disagree? As long and you aren't hruting anyone, go do what you want. You've earned it!

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I wanted to mention, also, that there is a way to definitely categorize and group people so that not everyone sees what's going on in your Facebook world. For example, since my mother simply can't handle the way I really am as a person, she is put in the Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte category of my Facebook. She doesn't see my wall, or my pics other than pics of my kiddos, and she doesn't see my status updates, then there are a few (The Cretins) who see some updates, and a few more albums, then two more groups of people who know me pretty effing well and can handle my bullshit. Make sense? It sure works well for me. That way I can really be me, and "protect"...well, mostly myself I suppose. I can say what I want to say without having to sensor myself on Facebook. My Myspace is where I really let loose. LOL! I hope you are doing well!

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1st, Stay off those Social Networks. there are a lot of bored people who like to test their stalking skills and or you will realize people will say things on those sites that they wouldn't normally say in the real world. Cliques form and people become victimized.

I also don't think it's paranoid to stock up on supplies. Remember to have meds, ativan/valiums, hydrocodones or pain relivers, aspirin (to prevent clotting) unless you have a serious wound then don't take aspirin, triple anti biotic ointment, hydrogen peroxide, bandages, radio, LED lights, batteries, dry clothes, blankets and of course a gallon of water per person a day and dry food and or canned foods. They say to have at least 3 days supply but as you can see it's taken the US Military over 2 weeks to get to the haitians you might want to stock up at least 2 or 3 weeks supply. Also plenty of high grade pepper spray to keep away looters and animals. You may want to buy a large water tank and bury it in your backyard with a hand pump. You may not want to cook your can food because when your neighbors are hungry they're going to smell your cooking and the laws of the jungle will kick in if you decide not to share. Sorry if i'm coming off as a negative Ned but after seeing what happened after Katrina I realized people lose all sense of civility when they're starving and become frightened.

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1st, Stay off those Social Networks. there are a lot of bored people who like to test their stalking skills and or you will realize people will say things on those sites that they wouldn't normally say in the real world. Cliques form and people become victimized.

I hope you're not adding us into that generalization.

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Cliques form and people become victimized.

I agree, but I have a difficult time figuring out if it is me being paranoid, or if my FB friends ARE forming cliques and leaving me out. I am a member of a professional photography message board, and I am almost 100% convinced that all the other pros think I'm worthless and loathe me. I rarely get responses to my posts, while they all kiss each others asses all day long. They are all on FB too and will communicate with each other and basically ignore me. I AM way over sensitive and thin skinned, and I read into things too much. So it is very difficult for me to read into a situation and figure out what is really going on. I wish I had an answer on how to NOT be so sensitive, but I really am lost about what to do about it.

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I loveeeeeeeeeeee FB!! It keeps me updated with my friends in recovery when I don't make meetings. I don't friend anyone I don't know and unless you count the comments I keep clean out of regards for my mormon/clean cut family members then I'm pretty much my dorky lovable self. I have yet to meet a stalker and I hate cliques, everyone knows that about me...if you're inviting me and not my sidekick because you don't think my sidekick is cool...then bite me. They invite everyone now and I make sure of it...I'm snotty that way.

What was the question? I'm distractable today lol

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