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A hard but amazing life


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Hope this is cool, I'm not trying to be egotistical, I just want to share my sense that even if things have been really hard for me there are some amazing good memories and experiences that I would not trade even with all the pain I've experienced. It's also about me trying to fight the fear and depression I'm dealing with at the moment.

Being the only white kid in an all black high school chorus in inner city Maryland.

Seeing the fireflies in the summer at my little house in rural Illinois. I've never seen anything like this before or since. Hundreds or fireflies flashing like LED's in the pasture.

Seeing the maple trees turn that unbelievable orange color in Chicago in the Fall.

Visiting my neighbors Arabian horses, seeing them from my house every day.

Marrying a really amazing person on the happiest day of my life.

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there are some amazing good memories and experiences that I would not trade even with all the pain I've experienced.

To me it's a double tragedy when we've lived through so much pain to just be miserable. Don't get me wrong, I have had my share of misery and heartache, but to continue living under that sway and NOT live out loud whenever possible is the source of a lot of pain for many (me included, at times.)

There's something to be said for persevering against all odds.

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Hope this is cool, I'm not trying to be egotistical, I just want to share my sense that even if things have been really hard for me there are some amazing good memories and experiences that I would not trade even with all the pain I've experienced. It's also about me trying to fight the fear and depression I'm dealing with at the moment.

Being the only white kid in an all black high school chorus in inner city Maryland.

Seeing the fireflies in the summer at my little house in rural Illinois. I've never seen anything like this before or since. Hundreds or fireflies flashing like LED's in the pasture.

Seeing the maple trees turn that unbelievable orange color in Chicago in the Fall.

Visiting my neighbors Arabian horses, seeing them from my house every day.

Marrying a really amazing person on the happiest day of my life.

I don't see it as egotistical - I see it as acknowledging that there ARE good things in life, in spite of having MI

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Guest CajunsCheri

Hi there! I'm just DX'd BPD 1 and had to reply. I have been through a mix of emotions in the last week since my diagnosis. From relieved to know it's not all by CHOICE that I made some of the decisions I have blamed myself and beat myself up for, to depressed that I have to struggle with this my entire life. However, I have typically been mostly manic until recently, which means I have had an overly optimistic view of life until my "rose colored glasses" came off. Once they did, I slid into a deep depression and have just been muddling by for about three years. That said, I love this thread and your outlook. I, too, remember seeing thousands of fireflies dance in the summers here in Texas. Unfortunately, the pesticides have killed most of them off these days, but I will always have the memory. Thanks for sharing and reminding me that it's the little things in life that really bring pleasure.

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Hope this is cool, I'm not trying to be egotistical, I just want to share my sense that even if things have been really hard for me there are some amazing good memories and experiences that I would not trade even with all the pain I've experienced. It's also about me trying to fight the fear and depression I'm dealing with at the moment.

Being the only white kid in an all black high school chorus in inner city Maryland.

Seeing the fireflies in the summer at my little house in rural Illinois. I've never seen anything like this before or since. Hundreds or fireflies flashing like LED's in the pasture.

Seeing the maple trees turn that unbelievable orange color in Chicago in the Fall.

Visiting my neighbors Arabian horses, seeing them from my house every day.

Marrying a really amazing person on the happiest day of my life.

Hold on to those feelings,we all like to revisit the good that makes us feel whole.They give us a natural high and carry us through to build more.It's wild that some of these things that stay with us might not seem so great at the time,for me any way.I grew up in Ill and you reminded me of the firefly's cool.Take care

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