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Mother of the year...NOT


witchywoman

  

18 members have voted

  1. 1. What would you do?

    • Let the kid in your vehicle
      15
    • Leave him outside in the rain
      0
    • Other
      3


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Let me explain. Earlier this week, it was pouring rain when it was time for my kids to go down to the bus stop, so I drove them down so they wouldn't have to stand in the rain. When I get down there, a neighbor kid is down there, standing in the rain, no raincoat, no umbrella, nothing. He was soaked. I felt so bad for him. So, what would you do? You don't know the parent's other than they are divorced, and the mother who the kids live with, doesn't really seem to care about anyone but herself. I'll explain what I did after a few votes.

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That's a tough question. I think I would have talked to the office staff at the school. Assuming your kids go to the same school? You could also report your concerns to the bus driver. She or he would know better than the school to whom that child belongs.

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i voted "let the kid in your vehicle" but.... if the bus was about to come what would be the point? if i had an extra umbrella i'd have given it to him. it would just depend on all the options i had available. if my house was close and i had a kid the same size i'd go get him dry clothes.

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Here's my problem with letting the kid in your vehicle. If his Mother is inclined to leave the poor kid out in the rain, she is also probably inclined (maybe not) to make a fuss about you letting her kid in the car. Maybe I'm just paranoid and jaded (it's entirely possible.) I know it sounds heartless. I would probably give the kid an umbrella at a minimum. His home room teacher should also have concerns about him showing up soaking wet. Though when we walked to school (in the stone ages), we went to school wet if it was raining.

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There's no indication of the child's age.

This is important. If it's like pre-school through about 2nd grade or so, I'd be somewhat inclined to opening the door and asking

the child if it wanted to wait with you.

By third grade I think kids are more responsible for their own 'bundling up'. I used to go without a jacket in winter (colder & drier part of the state, though.) all the time. Still do. And I never carry an umbrella. (in Seattle, the city with the Bumbershoot Festival! :) ) Of course a part of this is that it gets too expensive! With ADD, I was always losing them. ;)

But like almost all stories/situations like this, it's hard to know all the variables to give any real validity to my response. (Kind of like the pontification on local "news" shows!)

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Does the kid know your kids and you? Or at least recognize you guys? If so, I'd ask the kid if he wants to come in. If the kid is a total stranger, I'd be worried someone might think I was trying to kidnap him or something. I'd give him an umbrella at the very, very least.

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I'd let the kid in my car.

I used to take home a child (3rd grade) all the time, without the parent's knowledge, because they didn't care about the fact that he'd have to walk home a mile in the rain. I was worried the whole time about liability in case I got into an accident. Well, let me explain, they DID know, after the fact, but I never called ahead of time and asked if it was okay.

I'm curious to hear what you did.

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I voted other.

Regardless of the situation,*I*, as a parent, would freak the hell out if my child got in a vehicle with someone, without my knowledge. It violates all of our family safety rules, and sets a bad precedent [nothing bad happened when I got in the *that* car, so nothing bad will happen when I get in this one, either. My parents were wrong about these silly rules. Kids can't be expected to discern between benign and threatening, so zero tolerance is the name of the game.]

I *would* have seen if I could find something for the child to stand underneath, to shelter him from the rain.

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It violates all of our family safety rules, and sets a bad precedent [nothing bad happened when I got in the *that* car, so nothing bad will happen when I get in this one, either.

Yes. Perfect. That was my concern from the perspective of the potentially *bad* parent, but also just too exposed to the liability and unfortunately we DO live in a litigious society.

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I would definitely let the kid in my car if he knew me even if I had never met the parents. However, if this kid had never met me before or did not know my kid, I would not let them in my car. I would feel pretty uncomfortable given recent situations in my town. Instead I would probably lend the kid an umbrella or raincoat, or have my girl go outside and do the same.

I see kids here all the time with no coats, no hats, no socks in the freezing cold. I know these kids and there are all sorts of reason this happens. One child, a good friend of my girl, refuses to wear socks or coats. She has extreme sensory issues. Another kid has parents who believe in letting their children tough it out. Other kids are just really really poor and some have parents who will buy an electronic device before buying a warm coat.

There is my girl who will run out of the house with no coat in freezing weather and insist she is not cold. Or will refuse to take her raincoat to school in the pouring rain. There is only so much I can do.

It is a hard call. It breaks my heart to see some of the children with red freezing faces looking so unhappy this winter.

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My point is less about safety rules, and more about teaching children that its okay to get in cars with strangers, and/or without their parents knowledge.

You mean well, but the pedophile that lives on the next block over, doesn't.

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All kids should be taught not to get in a stranger's car, so I voted other. I'd offer an umbrella if available and report the situation to the school if the child is very young. A mom's instinct is to protect the child, but I have to agree with mudpuppy.

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Wow, that's a tough one. I probably would do as other suggested and offer the kid an umbrella, maybe a dry shirt, or a towel (I always carried extra with four kids).

It reminds me of the time (back in the 80's) when I looked up and saw a *dirty* kid around two in nuthin' but a diaper on my back patio. I took the kid inside, and my friend and I cleaned him up, changed his diaper (it was digusting), and gave him something to eat. It took us half and hour to get the dry dirt off of him, but other than being dirty, he seemed okay. I didn't know who he belonged to, but when my new next door neighbor came running past my patio two hours later I found out.

My friend and I had a huge argument about whether to call child services. I think she did in the end, but I figured the kid got out while the mom was napping - it happens.

Since I don't know how old the kid you're talking about is, to me it's highly likely he left without his parent aware he didn't have the proper raingear.

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I stopped fighting with my own sons years ago about not dressing properly for school. I told 13 y.o. today he should join the polar bear club because he waltzed in after school (the bus stop is .4 miles,) with only his shirt on, dragging his hoodie behind him. It's feaking 18 degrees out there! But, whatever, dude. His brother was the same way and he is alive and well.

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The boy is in 2nd grade, and he doesn't know me really, but does know I live nearby. I did not invite him into my vehicle, for the same reason I would not want my kids going into someones vehicle I didn't know. I also didn't want an "issue" made of it. I felt so bad for him, and I had no umbrella. The thing that got me is, the parent that drove their kids down and knows this kid and the parents, did not let him in their vehicle either! I was just flabbergasted.

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I don't buy the strangers are dangerous concept. I think a child who can't think for himself is the one at risk. Most mothers of classmates ought to be safe. Communities that look out for each other are better. My answer is to let the kid in my car, if she wants, but keep the door open.

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Most children are abducted/assaulted/killed by someone both they, and the family knew.

Asking someone who still believes in Santa Claus to make rational decisions regarding who is and isn't safe, is a pretty poorly thought-out plan.

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as a kid i was taught not to talk to strangers and i was painfully shy. now i seem to talk to everyone. the first time i caught a taxi on my own i was freaking out though. i mean strangers who often look dodgy!

if it was a long wait for the bus, i'd give the kid an umbrella. If it wasnt, i'd just go talk to the school about it. A bit of rain doesnt kill you (usually) and getting in the car could send weird messages .. .and might actually be uncomfortable for the kid.

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