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I have no "personality"


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I'm a genius.

I used to be a PUA, but I had a breakdown of respect for women in general. I have concluded that ALL women are no longer desirable enough to be in my company. Also, I am bored of sex.

Now, I have no sexual drive whatsoever, thus no incentive to talk to women, thus no incentive to put on my various engineered "fun and interesting" personalities. I genuinely feel sick when I try.

I have no personality to begin with. Whatever personality I display is some amalgamation of my various engineered personalities.

I have become obsessed with the financial markets.

Some of you may try to reach out to me, but I won't care. I never did care. I only pretended to care because it gave my life some meaning at that point in time.

I know I am going to be labeled as a sociopath. I really don't think I am. I never hurt anyone physically, and I don't want to.

I know no one else cares here either. That is fine. I'm really just curious what some of your thoughts of me are, knowing this information.

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I have no idea.

What is a PUA?

Welcome to Crazyboards. If you want to be among MI people, you have come to the right place.

Please read the rules when you get a chance---it avoids problems later on.

olga

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 I can't speak for the mainstream, but around here we term "crazy" as someone with a diagnosable mental illness.  That is, symptoms involving mood, judgment, perception, behavior that significantly impair someone in their day to day lives, and/or cause them significant distress.

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If I had Asperger Disorder, I would not be able to learn the skills necessary to be a pickup artist, don't you think?

EDIT: I mean this in the context of social interaction skills, I am NOT implying that Asperger's is a learning disorder.

True Dat. I wrote my reply when I thought that PUA was a kind of engineering career that I'd never heard of and therefore didn't recognize. Anyways, what make you a genius- in your opinion? I am not saying its a lie. I'm just curiois.

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In that case, I've given mine.  

To elaborate, the sense of having "no personality", is a core trait of some personality disorders.  Your rejection of an entire gender suggests black and white thinking, also common of some personality disorders.

The "i hate you, don't leave me" is another common characteristic, typified by your statement that you don't care, and yet, here you are.  Push first, or be pushed, mentality.

It also comes across as manipulative, cajoling people into responding to you, by insisting they don't care, which drives most compassionate persons to make it apparent that they do.

But... *shrug*

What do I know?  I'm just a crazy combat vet.  Not an expert by any measure, and certainly not qualified to diagnose.

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You certainly do have a core personality, if that's what you are presenting here. You have traits that come through clearly, you have likes and dislikes and interests that you have stated. But maybe you're presenting an engineered personality.

You do not have to physically hurt anyone, or want to, to be a "sociopath" (antisocial personality disorder.) That being said, it doesn't sound like that's what you are. You're a misogynist, maybe, but that's not a mental illness. You may have traits that are considered undesirable, but so does everyone, and that's not a mental illness either.

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Sometimes when I would dissociate when I used to be really sick, I'd sound like the OP. Not saying they're REALLY sick necessarily, but I've said the same things. My deep down self never meant it though. It was what I thought to be another person controlling me. I know it wasn't now, but it was a definite flattening of personality etc.

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I would normally be embarrassed to admit this, but I've had a few beers so I'll go ahead. FWIW I've never admitted this to ANYONE in person.

I have had dialogues with myself. They are both "me" in a sense. The one me is the "suggestive" me so to speak, and the other is the "inhibitive" me. The first will suggest ideas, and the other will say something along the lines of "yes great idea" or "no, don't do that you fucking shithead." Yes, these words are spoken out loud (NEVER in public, I do have quite a bit of control over it). We will have debates sometimes. It is weird. I will often stop once I realize I'm having a FULL BLOWN CONVERSATION with "myself." I do this less often nowadays. It comes and goes in cycles.

I guess this closes the case pretty definitively eh? I am fucking crazy. To beer!

EDIT: I just realized I referred to this phenomenon as "we." Sometimes it does feel like it is someone else, but I know it's just me.

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Most people have internal dialogue.  Your awareness that you're talking to yourself indicates that it isn't due to psychosis.

However, if your internal dialogue is negative or critical, that can effect your mood quite a bit, and would respond well to therapy.

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My layman's opinion is that you're 100% normal. If you think you have a problem, go talk to a therapist or a psychiatrist who can get you a diagnosis. It is not the purpose nor intent of this board to deal with people who are not already in treatment for a mental health condition.

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I used to be a PUA, but I had a breakdown of respect for women in general. I have concluded that ALL women are no longer desirable enough to be in my company. Also, I am bored of sex.

Now, I have no sexual drive whatsoever, thus no incentive to talk to women, thus no incentive to put on my various engineered "fun and interesting" personalities. I genuinely feel sick when I try.

Dude, that's because that lifestyle is empty. You can't fill your need for meaning with something that is empty.

I have no personality to begin with. Whatever personality I display is some amalgamation of my various engineered personalities.

I have become obsessed with the financial markets.

Some of you may try to reach out to me, but I won't care. I never did care. I only pretended to care because it gave my life some meaning at that point in time.

I know I am going to be labeled as a sociopath. I really don't think I am. I never hurt anyone physically, and I don't want to.

I know no one else cares here either. That is fine. I'm really just curious what some of your thoughts of me are, knowing this information.

You can feel better. See a psychiatrist (make sure they have M.D. after their name).

As for not wanting to hang out with people with mental illness - well, no one else does either. It's an involuntary club. No one thinks they're going to develop a mental illness - but it happens - so you deal with it.

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I will often stop once I realize I'm having a FULL BLOWN CONVERSATION with "myself."

I do this all the time and don't necessarily think it's a problematic trait and certainly not an indication of mental illness. It depends on the content of the conversation, but you can work some things out that way if you have no other people to talk to about them.

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