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I don't know what to do


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I'm totally stuck. I hate to leave my house because of paranoia, I'm disgusted with myself, can't concentrate, have no motivation, and I keep having thoughts of hurting myself or suicide. I want desperately to take a break from my job and from school, but I can't. We're a third of the way through the quarter, I had to pay for these classes, and I don't want to have to take them again later. I don't want to disappoint my boss, and I don't want to miss out on the money. But I can't handle it anymore. I feel like something's wrong with me but I don't know what. My mom says maybe I just can't deal with the stress, but my life ISN'T really that stressful so clearly something is wrong that is making me not be able to handle it. I just want to stay home in my nice safe house and not concentrate on anything, but instead have 8 more weeks of school and work (I work at the college).

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How long have you been on the risperdal now? I can't remember how long it took, but once it kicked in for me it made a profound difference. (I had to go off of it b/c of tremors).

Yes, call your pdoc. Are you taking the prn as well?

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Yes, I'm taking it, but the 0.5 whenever I need it doesn't seem to be enough. And I see my pdoc on Friday, but feeling this way makes it hard to imagine waiting 4 days. I hope she'll actually help...I'm afraid she'll just want me to keep on waiting and I can't. Cause if I don't get better I'm gonna end up quitting my job and school and then hating myself for it when and if I get better. But right now I just want to crawl back in bed and not surface again till dinner. Yet I have to leave in 15 minutes for school. Oh, and I've been taking the Risperdal only 10 days.

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I'm disgusted with myself, can't concentrate, have no motivation, and I keep having thoughts of hurting myself or suicide. I want desperately to take a break from my job. I just want to stay home in my nice safe house and not concentrate on anything.

I'm struggling with this right now as well. I've been seeing my pdoc weekly trying to get the right med combo down. Do you think you can call to see if your pdoc is able to see you sooner? Maybe she will call you in an "emergency med" for the time being? I understand how difficult it is to get yourself out of bed and to work when all you want to do is hide out in your room. Anyway, I think a call to your pdoc is in order, she should be able to do something for you.

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That's exactly where I was at in the fall. I did end up quitting school, but I had the benefit of being a semester ahead already. The money thing sucks, but the way I look at it you're wasting your money if your mind isn't 100% too. There's no shame in it, most people were actually impressed with me that I had the balls to do it.

Just my two cents though. I'm sure your appt with your pdoc will be helpful though and best wishes!

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More Risperdal. Or some other medication to adjunct it. Clearly the medication regime you are on it not working *at all*. If you don't want to go up on the risperdal, then add another medication. But clearly, clearly, 1 mg is not enough to relieve your symptoms. You should call your pdoc first thing tomorrow and tell him everything that's been going on.

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You're right, I should call tomorrow, not wait until Friday. And also, I guess it's true that if my mind isn't here then it's still wasting money. I mean if I fail, then it's the same wasting... Maybe I should drop a class. Or at least fix the meds. I agree completely. Risperdal 1 mg is NOT enough, or not right. Cause this isn't okay how I'm feeling. I did talk to my boss and I'm working less hours now. Less money, but she understands.

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