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Ideas please


Guest Lunna

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I have been on here before trying to deal with my depression, which is sky high right now. Today I went to a Phyc. to talk to him about my son. We talked for two hours. I know he can't diagnose him like this, not meeting him. He seems to think my son, who is 18 has Schizo Personality Disorder. My heart is broken and I don't know how to help. He can't admit anything is wrong. His life is in shambles right now. How can I help him get therapy if he doesn't know anything is wrong.

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Don't want you to go unanswered, but...

When I was that age I knew something wasn't right, but I couldn't see it. At the same time I probably wouldn't have listened to someone else. I couldn't really connect the dots.

Even now - MANY years later - I can listen. But still, connecting the dots seems a long way off.

And I suspect my little brother had a more aggressive avoidance of his issues. He didn't see any problems either - in any way he could have acknowledged and dealt with them. Maybe like your son?

I don't know what your son's issues are, but even knowing, there are just too many variables to consider.

I try to think back. I know a big thing I'm finding in therapy is that my parents never talked about feelings. Theirs or mine.

Don't know your family background - and you certainly can't instantly change dynamics, but have YOU had "personal issues" (psych wise) in the past? has his dad? Have you talked about those things with him? Have you just talked with him about how he's feeling - without it being a prelude to making "suggestions"?

IF you talk to each other I would suggest maybe just somehow lead into talking briefly about how you feel about something troubling you now and how maybe it relates to some emotional issue from when you were younger. I'd be careful to not make it about him at all. Not even a hint of "is something troubling you, too?", or the expectation of reciprocation. Don't make it the "birds and bees" talk of psychological issues.

Just be able to show your available, willing to be open and willing to listen. I would try to resist giving 'answers' until he asks questions. And even then I would keep them low key 'til you see how he responds.

Anyway, that was just a scenario that popped into my head. It may not fit your situation at all.

I have no idea if it is even remotely helpful. You've probably already done this.

There are several books about various personality disorders. If you've had depression issues in the past this situation with your son can't be helping. You may want to consider therapy for yourself and use the opportunity to not only help yourself, but to get more professional information about your son's possible issues and the therapist's ideas of how to proceed.

Best of luck. I wish my parents could have made better contact. And I have wondered whether they thought about it but just didn't see how. No blame placed, but it hurts when I think about them in that context. The context reflected in your post.

And I'm rambling and waiting for a Seroquel to kick in so I can maybe sleep so I'm probably not making a hell of a lot of sense.

If I did, I hope you can use it.

If not, you can always use me as a bad example! ;)

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Thanks, it does help. We can't talk right now. He is unreachable. He was a very loved child..His dad is long gone and mentally ill. My brother is schizophrenic. My next step is to get therapy myself. I feel like I want to die. I have been advocating for my kids for years..one is dyslexic and this one I am talking about had language processing issues. I am not going to hurt myself. But I am angry beyond belief right now. I have had enough fucking mental illness. Thank you for responding.

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Thanks, it does help. We can't talk right now. He is unreachable. He was a very loved child..His dad is long gone and mentally ill. My brother is schizophrenic. My next step is to get therapy myself. I feel like I want to die. I have been advocating for my kids for years..one is dyslexic and this one I am talking about had language processing issues. I am not going to hurt myself. But I am angry beyond belief right now. I have had enough fucking mental illness. Thank you for responding.

So I am wondering..can people have like a psychotic break and then be back to their same old self? My son went to his one friends house. Friends mom came home and said my son was acting weird, slurring speech and both boys said no one was doing drugs or drinking. Now he seems fine except he has isolated himself here at home and we are not requiring him to look for work or placing any pressure on him. This keeps him calm. He has smiled and laughed with his bro which is really cool. My husband and I have an apt. soon..and we want him to attend. Is it just plain wrong to force him? I am not happy about him not doing anything for the last two weeks. I know he is hurting but he has to work, or seek therapy or attempt school. Not sure how to breach this. As for myself..I quit the welbutrin..I think it was making me worse and I am going to seek help with a support group at NAMI..thing is. I live far away from services. I can fight this depression. Its sucking pretty bad right now. I made myself sick, but I can fight it.

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Thanks, it does help. We can't talk right now. He is unreachable. He was a very loved child..His dad is long gone and mentally ill. My brother is schizophrenic. My next step is to get therapy myself. I feel like I want to die. I have been advocating for my kids for years..one is dyslexic and this one I am talking about had language processing issues. I am not going to hurt myself. But I am angry beyond belief right now. I have had enough fucking mental illness. Thank you for responding.

So I am wondering..can people have like a psychotic break and then be back to their same old self? My son went to his one friends house. Friends mom came home and said my son was acting weird, slurring speech and both boys said no one was doing drugs or drinking. Now he seems fine except he has isolated himself here at home and we are not requiring him to look for work or placing any pressure on him. This keeps him calm. He has smiled and laughed with his bro which is really cool. My husband and I have an apt. soon..and we want him to attend. Is it just plain wrong to force him? I am not happy about him not doing anything for the last two weeks. I know he is hurting but he has to work, or seek therapy or attempt school. Not sure how to breach this. As for myself..I quit the welbutrin..I think it was making me worse and I am going to seek help with a support group at NAMI..thing is. I live far away from services. I can fight this depression. Its sucking pretty bad right now. I made myself sick, but I can fight it.

and oh yea. I think this is hereditary. I think his dad is schizophrenic and I have depression and anxiety. I thought he might be high functioning autism most his life, but now I don't think so. I think the therapists first instincts were right on about Schizo personality disorder because I read up on it. Still, I don't like to put people in boxes. So I don't care what the fuck it is. I just want my poor kid to have some peace and get some life skills. Thanks for reading this. I know you all understand

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