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Is this bipolar or not


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Okay so this is sorta related to the "mixed episode" thread (a poster asking if short angry moods that last less than a day can be "mixed episodes").

I apologize in advance if this annoys anyone or if it is too long/boring to work through.

What do you make of this:

When I was 25, by june, I started going a little wacked. After 2 years of (what I perceived as) extreme stress and resultant insomnia, I feel like something "snapped" a bit and I went just a tad bit crazy.

One day, in the evening, suddenly I was overcome by INTENSE energy. It was a consuming kind of energy. I really don't know how to describe it. It made me talk to myself and laugh. It made me need to move around and I literally couldn't sit still. I felt amazingly good, powerful, fantastic. IT was a transforming kind of experience that was not normal, a bit like a drug.

It lasted a few hours, then it got better.

Now, I had been "Nuts" before. Going a bit wacky started, for me, during the summer of 23 yrs old. The difference was that prior to this point it was more mild, and it was always induced by not sleeping. THis is the first time I went "nuts" for no reason at all, which made it significant to me.

These little episodes happened frequently throughout that summer.

Sometimes I would also hallucinate and have real fucked up perceptions. This was especially likely to happen if it was a particularly extreme energy spell, a few hours/day afterward.

By the end of that summer, due to the frequent "confused /paranoid/hallucinating thinking" episodes I was having (which followed the "extreme energy" ones) I was seriously worried I might be going nuts. I was afraid that I might be going schizo or something, as I've a family history of psychosis. I remember, some days walking down the street, feeling so confused, my perceptions were all distorted, I felt scared. I don't know how to describe waht this was like. I would misperceive everything... sounds, sights, distance and time. The distorted thinking is really what scared the shit out of me. I remember a day where I walked down the street and I would hallucinate people's faces being twisted, deformed, I thought things were looking at me... there were a few times I just wanted to freak out and cry in public.

Basically, I started feeling like a crazy person.

By late july, I sought consult w. phD psychologists. They told me this was bipolar. I found that to be a relief since it was my worst fear I would be devolving into a schizo with chronic psychosis like my grandparent.

These episodes diminished by september. By september, I felt calm again and no longer "at risk" for nuttery. It all went away.

I should mention:

I wasn't consistently "Nuts" all summer. I would be nuts for like, a month or half a month then I might have 2 weeks of depression.

I wasn't consistently "nuts" every day. One day I might be extremely hyper, the next day I would feel pretty normal, the next day I would be hyper as hell, etc. This could last for a few days or a few weeks.

The fucked up thinking always came after fucked up energy.

The summer of my 26th was considerably more mild. Don't know why, but I'm glad.

Just curious what others think.

I know most people think bipolar episodes can't be short, but what the heck happened to me then.

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I'm Bipolar, mine is like this, I get very depressed, horrible thoughts, numb to the world, then all excited, shop excessively without having enough money, I cry and cry sometimes, sometimes insomnia, just a mess! I am going to ask my doctor to put me back on Lithium, it was the only thing that stopped it... 600mg a day!

I was also previously diagnosed as Schizophrenic, not Schizo-Effective, But Schizophrenic, Paranoid, It's getting out of control really, and if my meds aren't changed soon to the correct cocktail... I'm going to end back up in the Hospital. I'm sorry I'm just rambling.

But I described how I feel with Bipolar, I have Psychotic episodes too, I remember them, but I don't, I get so excited and just burst out, ppl tell me I have a big mouth... I don't notice it. Last year I ended up bed bound 6 months because of my medicine was not working. I was so afraid to go outside, I over talk to ppl, just excessive.

Billy.

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what you posted, in combination with other things you've written about symptom-wise at times, plus the actual diagnosis, seems bipolar. at least of some form--maybe an NOS or something like that.

"if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and walks like a duck, maybe it's a duck?" that was my first reaction...noticeable symptoms that when noticed by someone who works in the field were diagnosed. I'd trust that. That's not to say that someone can't get a diagnosis wrong, but the high energy/can't sleep/distorted perceptions/distorted thinking/happy for no reason combo is pretty recognizable.

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