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Sometimes I wonder if this depression is really just anger. And if it is, what am I so angry about? Who am I angry at? I have no answers and if I don't have the answers no one else will. Is it also possible to keep things from yourself? What if I like being depressed? What if I'm just faking all of this? Is that even possible? Sorry for all the questions. I wish I had the answers.

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Well, I believe that Freud referred to depression as "anger turned inward." I'm not actually big on Freud, but it sounds kind of poetic. ;)

It's possible that if your depression ended, you wouldn't have any idea what to do with yourself, which may add to some degree of helplessness.

OK, I think it's theoretically possible to will yourself into depression. On purpose, I mean.

But I'd be willing to bet that that's not the case in the vast majority of people with depression... It is kind of difficult to get out of the hole of depression, though.

If it automatically occurs to you that you might be faking it, then you're probably not faking it. (Depression makes you be excessively hard on yourself.)

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for me : severe depression always comes with suicide as the bride's maid. no anger component, just the endless, relentless, all encompassing despair that has no rational reason to exist and seemingly endless clutching at straws that may exist to end the despair.

flight there are many, many members here that have found sanity in rx'd crazymeds. you can not be" faking all of this" because you are hurting and don't have a clue why . depression left untreated, unremedied will take an exorbitant toll on one's life if not their life itself . what ever your life situation is, you must be your own advocate in searching for treatment with the best potential to get you back in your right mind .

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What if I like being depressed? What if I'm just faking all of this? Is that even possible? Sorry for all the questions. I wish I had the answers.

It's not that you'd like being depressed.. it's that after awhile it feels comfortable because it's what you're used to. Change is always hard, either way. I can tell you that willing yourself to be depressed isn't an accident. Being happy can be uncomfortable, but it takes a conscious choice to pull the depressed thoughts back into your world. I was happy once, and it was weird, but I stuck with it. I stayed not-depressed until the depression came back on it's own. I learned that it's not just sad thoughts in my head that I'm worried to let go of, it's something much bigger that I can't stop.

Keeping yourself where you are (depressed) is not the same thing as "creating" depression. I don't think depression is something you can will upon yourself.

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Anger sure seems related to depression to me. Maybe a defense to make some of the hurt seem more external?

If you're feeling bad, I don't think you're faking depression.

I've written this a bunch of times, but in case you haven't run across it, remember that depression is like having shit colored glasses welded to your head. Makes everything look worse than it is.

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Anger sure seems related to depression to me. Maybe a defense to make some of the hurt seem more external?

If you're feeling bad, I don't think you're faking depression.

I've written this a bunch of times, but in case you haven't run across it, remember that depression is like having shit colored glasses welded to your head. Makes everything look worse than it is.

thats an appropriate analogy.

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it's safer in our own head, albeit unhealthy - so getting out of depression isn't easy. Ive been told on many occasions that i don't want to get better (i do now btw) and tdoc was right!

step back, any physical conditions that indicate depression - for me it loss of appetite, nightmares and bad sleep (despite sleep meds), and headaches. Anxiety and intrusive thoughts to boot.

once depression sets in, it feeds upon itself with thoughts of "your faking it" etc

meds help and sometimes it takes awhile to find the right one

hang in there

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