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The horrible driving test


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I don't know what to do with myself. Okay...I'm almost 21, and I don't have my license yet. I can drive well and have been for quite awhile, even though it causes me anxiety. But I just CAN'T muster up the courage to take the test. The first time I did, the lady was cold and unfair to me and I cried about it for 45 minutes afterwards. It was so unfair, she told me I didn't do stuff I was supposed to when I did, she wouldn't let me turn right at a red light after stopping even though it's legal, etc. I need my license, but I just CAN'T. I think about it and get this gripping panic. I know that most people fail their first time and that everyone gets nervous, but I feel like I'm overly nervous. I want to somehow get out of having to take it, like I wish I could just have the permit for long enough that I didn't have to take the test. I failed over 6 months ago and I still remember it like it's yesterday. I want to get the courage but not sure how. I get so anxious about it, and I'm already a scared enough person. Please no one laugh at me, I'm sure it sounds trivial.

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It's not trivial---I think lots of people freak out with the driving test.

My mother was one of the strongest women I've ever known, and she failed her first test. She was so nervous about the second one, that a neighbor lady gave her one of her own "nerve pills." (This was in the 1950s, so I have no idea what it was)

Anyway, Mom took the pill, took the test a second time and passed it.

Now, if benzos aren't available to help you chill out, are there any calming exercises you could do to help you through this? Could a friend or parent play the role of the examiner and go riding with you and tell you to do stuff like parallel park, to kind of desensitize you in advance?

Don't give up on it---having a license is such a liberating thing. I hope you can bring yourself to take the test.

olga

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Thank you. Having a parent practice telling me where to drive, where to parallel park, what to do etc is a REALLY good idea. In fact, I think I may do that tomorrow. I can get used to it that way. I'm also glad to know that other people who are actually strong freak out badly about the test. I don't know why the people who test you are so mean. I hear so many stories about that and have experienced it, and I HATE conflict. If I were the one grading the drivers, I'd be nice to them cause I know what hell it is to go through the test. But thank you for the idea! I think it'll really help.

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I'm useless. I'm 23 and about to be on my fourth learner's permit because I am scared shitless of driving all together. I have to take klonopin to drive.

I just wanted to say you are not the only person above the age of 16 who doesn't drive and I think you'll probably do just fine.

Oh, and good luck!!

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Do you have access to the testing area after hours? Here, you do, and many people (including my 22yo daughter) would go and practice the parallel parking before the test. It helps to have at least a little knowledge of the course. Good luck with it, like I said, my daughter was 22 before she got her license. You're not alone.

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I'm glad other people think the practice will help. I always feel more comfortable doing things if I have practiced them a lot.

And maybe next time you'll get a nicer examiner. Mine was neutral---he wasn't Mr. Friendly, but he wasn't nasty in any way.

Keep trying! And go for a drive to some place pleasant. If you associate driving with going to the beach, or for a nice drive in the country, it will cheer you up to get into the car. If you only associate it with difficult driving in a city, you'll dread it every time.

olga

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Don't give up! I was almost 21 when I finally had the chance to get my License. I was lucky to pass on my first attempt and it was the only time I've ever been able to parallel park! I hate driving any where and my stupid car doesn't help much but I'd be even crazier if I couldn't drive. Being able to drive is very liberating and I feel like I have at least that little bit of freedom/independance. Practice often and do drive to nice places when you can. Heck if I could I'd even loan you my bf, kitty or even claire, any of which calms me just thinking of having when I need em ;) ! Good luck!

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You all are so nice. I feel sooo much better knowing there are other people over 20 who are afraid of driving like me and who keep renewing their permits! It feels like everyone I know got their licenses at 16 or 17, 18 at the latest. I know that having the license will be liberating and will make me feel more like an adult, and I do want it. Not sure how much I'll use it since I'm scared to drive alone (lol) but I really want it before my birthday in March. I'm going to have my mom practice with me today. I'll have her give me commands and take a different route home. Thank you for all the encouragement. ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest CarpeNoctem

I wish you the best of luck with your driving test. The first time I took it I got really nervous and I even forgot to stop at a stop sign, and when I did stop the examiner move forward a bit because i stopped kind of suddenly. I started driving when I was 18 and got my license shortly after my 19th birthday on my fourth attempt at the test. When I first started driving I was really scared driving alone, especially at night, but I'm not really like that anymore unless I'm driving somewhere new or far away, but around my area, I can drive any time with no problem. What really helped me was having a parent or friend drive with me telling me what to do just like the examiner would, and another thing that helped me immensely was driving around the DMV where I took the test was. That way you can know the streets better and know their speed limits. I know with out a doubt that if I hadn't practiced driving around where the DMV was I would have failed the test, because the examiner took me to a tricky street, and if I hadn't practiced I would have driven on the wrong side of the road, like I did when I was practicing and learned from it. I wish you the best of luck!!

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i totally agree with the suggestion to practice. practice, practice, practice. my parents would take me out early on a sunday morning when there was no traffic and i'd drive around learning to stay in my lane and corner properly. still, i was never good at parallel parking but i nailed it on my test. go figure.

and remember, when you're in the car with the driving instructor, they're more scared than you are.

good luck,

grouse.

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