Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

Okay,

Maybe I'm lacking in creativity, or something. But really... I've been a good girl. Sobriety and all that. But... I find myself at a loss when I'm stressed out/wanting to unwind/go out. What do sober people do?

In all the stuff I've read about alcoholism, they talk about relapse, and support, and etc... but they don't tell you what to do instead of drinking.

I readily admit that I have not read a lot about sobriety. I'm not in AA, doing this on my own. (Seems to be working, and I was sober for years before this relapse, so... please don't tell me to go there? I, personally, am not a fan. Works for many, just not my thing. Though, I suppose, they do have the coffee, cigarettes and social thing, which maybe falls under the "fun" rubric.)

Anyway.

HALP!

Need Fun!

Soberly yours,

Penny

edit:

I have NOTHING against AA... just because it's not for me (I've been to some meetings, it just doesn't mesh with my personality) doesn't mean I think it's a bad group, AT ALL.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know what people do that don't go to AA do. I can only share my life.

I have picked up reading, hanging out with sober people (I found a group that is FUN to hang out with, we DO things that are fun...we just don't drink or use) I am on the net a lot. I'm in school.

I substitute all my drinking/using with fun people and doing fun things.

It was hard at first. I felt lost and stressed out and a drink or pill was all I wanted... life felt blah without drinking.

I go to the movies, I go to AA dances and sober bands, I read, I go places like the beach and mountains, I'm writing a book.

again, I don't know what you do if you're not in AA...but if you take AA out of the equation then I guess those are just other sober choices...

I hated AA for years til I found out I couldn't go it alone. AA was the last place I wanted to go.

I found the "right" group of women and it's not a clique but it's a tight group...I call them my "ass savers"

Feel free to PM me...

hope this helps - I felt kinda funny about answering since I'm in AA but I just...couldn't ...help...myself...

;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, now, I've never been technically labeled as an alcoholic, and probaby have not been one since I've always quit with ease, but I spent my time from ages 14-19 binge drinking like crazy. When I was in school, it was mostly only on the weekends (Except the rare occasion I'd pop a couple vicodin, smoke a bowl, and take a few shots of vodka before school) then after graduation, it was EVERY NIGHT for six months, black out, crazy embarassing drunk.

What do I do for FUN? That's a good fucking question to be honest. I try and pick up random hobbies here and there to keep myself occupied, like painting THINGS, not ART. I write, I read a lot, I drink my coffee and puff on my e-cig. I dye my hair crazy colors.

I guess, and this is going to sound awfully boring to you and I am so sorry and I hope you still have hope after this, but I've found that once I was done being all wild and shit, I really just wanted to settle down and RELAX. So that's what I try to do, unfortunately, I have mental issues that prevent this from happening BUT I WON'T START DRINKING AGAIN. I understand why you wouldn't like AA, I know it isn't for some people. Rarely, I work with a group of women who are all in AA, what I gather from them is that, by being in that circle of people, they've found some people they can trust, have learned to become better people through their recovery, and always have someone to lean on. I've been told that you don't have to be so religious to participate, but to me, it seems a lot of the program revolves around that sort of thing, you know? They all read daily prayers and what not, and nothing wrong with that if it gives them hope. But anyway, I can see how it could be a good thing, I hope you have trustworthy revoring addicts in your circle of friends to relate to.

Right, this was about fun.

If you are the outdoorsy type, try doing some of that shit.

I was never athletic and got a real kick out of running.

Or take up knitting ugly Christmas sweaters for your relatives just for shits and gigglesdevlish.gif

But crazy ass fun like that? Lacking inhibition and saying, doing whatever you want? Eh, it might happen without the alcohol, you just have to be carefree I suppose.

I suck at advice, sorry. I really hope you stop being bored soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Netflix account? Libraries, book stores that do free events like poetry readings, etc?

Hang out at coffee shops that have free wi-fi maybe?

Check out what's going on via the local indie freebie newspaper?

Check out the local community college and see if any free lectures are available?

Sorry but that's all I can think of for now.

I don't leave the house though, sorry.

Or take up knitting ugly Christmas sweaters for your relatives just for shits and gigglesdevlish.gif

I fucking love this idea!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Emperor said "I try and pick up random hobbies here and there..."

Oh! Is that what you call those guys? ;)

PC, I sort of got the sense that you were creative. Wrong? How about photography?

Pick a theme? Illustrate a mood? Post them on CB?

Maybe we need some kind of gallery. I think there are several here that are into it. (Not me. Yet.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hope this helps - I felt kinda funny about answering since I'm in AA but I just...couldn't ...help...myself...

;)

thank you, a LOT...

and really... i have NOTHING against AA... they're just not for me. i've been to meetings, and it just didn't work with me. doesn't mean there's ANYTHING wrong with AA.

thank you for your response!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the replies...

I guess, the problem is... I still want ESCAPE.

And, well... ok yeah, I walk on the beach, I take picture, I write, etc.

Sometimes I just still want my brain to TURN OFF.

Adjustment, you know, not having that...

I will ponder the above ideas after... sleep... dreams... my last refuge ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have noticed after a while the brain will calm down and actually adjust and stop wondering what to do ..it has been full for so long with one thing now that you are switching to another it will take a bit of time to fill the void

it depends on the kind of person you are ..as above ..outdoorsy go out ..indoorsy do inside things

right now you are in the post "I gave it up" and not quite to the "settling in"

but that is just my opinion ..good for you giving up booze ..seriously GOOD for YOU :)

read read read that is always good! used bookstores ...libraries

if you want noisy loud and clubby for a while could you do an exerise class with loud music or something just to take the edge off?

I am laying here now doing NOTHING and kind of feeling bored and wanting to bake and eat cookies(bad news for me) ...giving advice on what someone should do to keep from being bored ;) wow I need to move my own ass!

take care and congrats again

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Penny I feel the same way about AA it's just not my cup of tea. What about seeing if there's some type of sewing club in your area? Knitting, and cross stitching and bead weaving have always given me a way to shut my brain off... Or new computer games where you have to find stuff work for me too. Bicycle riding or hiking. I even have a cd of the waves hitting the shore line for those days I can't make it to the beach. Or what about going to the museums in your area? I am happy for you for giving up the booze! If I can think of anything else I'll add it later!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I used to smoke a lot of pot... every day... several times a day. I don't anymore, and it was hard. What I did was just replace it with exercise. Every time I felt like smoking, I got in my car and drove to the gym, exercised and went swimming (They have an indoor pool).

Not only was working out and swimming exhilarating, it took up that time period where I desperately wanted to smoke, but it also made me happier, and I felt so good when I got back I didn't need to smoke.

Uhh, Lithium and Klonopin also helped this process, but... exercise sure was the biggie. You might also want to try a Yoga class to ease your mind.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Penny, I would pick something to do that is WAAAAAAAY out of your normal experiences:

1) Take a pole dancing class. Really. Or belly dancing, or stripping. Something that makes you feel wild and sexy without drugs and alcohol.

2) Channel your energy into a new challenge. Learn to play the piano, or another musical instrument. Take a gourmet cooking class. As others have suggested, work out or go hiking. If you do them really vigorously, you can indeed turn your brain off for a while. Figure-skating is a great challenge.

3) If you crave excitement, learn how to do something dangerous. Hang-gliding? Race-car driving? Flying a glider plane? Parachute-jumping?

This isn't out of your normal experience, but you can always help the addicts here at CB. The substance abuse board can always use straight-talking people who have been through the mill and know how hard it is to stay clean. I don't think it matters if you didn't do the 12-step programs---a lot of our members don't. You can still reach out a hand to the other addicts.

I'm glad you've come this far successfully. Congratulations!

olga

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Penny, I'm with you on the 12 step thing, but did go thru intensive outpatient treatment with the one good addiction counselor in this area which was a miracle! I completely understand how you feel!! I went thru that for a long time, and I still haven't entirely figured it out. I'd always be asked what I like to do? Well, duh, I like to drink and use any and all drugs with the exception of hallucinogens!! Obviously, that stuff kinda ruined my life, and I'm so grateful to be sober and on good standing (almost 3 years!!). I read, I write, I exercise, I take pics, play with my pets, but my social life is essentially non-existent since all of the friends I made since I moved to this college town were my drinking/drug buddies. It is tough sometimes to meet sober people, but I have been fortunate in finding a couple of friends who drink, but not problematically and respect my situation.

I absolutely love Olga's ideas. It wasn't until a few months ago that I figured out that I was truly an adrenaline junky. I'm seriously ready for some base-jumping or skydiving, but since those are not in my budget, I make my own fun doing silly stuff like cranking up the stereo and singing and dancing like an idiot. My friend and I go to somewhere like Ross and find the most hideous dresses in the store then model them in the dressing room. It really is about stepping way out of your normal experience. If only I lived in a town that offered a pole dancing class! I'd be the first one signed up!

I hope that at least something in there was helpful. I'm sure you've been told this a million times, but it gets better, easier with time. Really. Truly. Congrats to you on quitting. We all know how hard that is, and it takes a ton of strength and courage to admit that you have a problem and do something about it. Good for you!! Feel free to PM me if you ever feel the need to.

-LF

Link to comment
Share on other sites

PC, I love NA, but I've worked with tons of addicts/alcoholics where that is just not there thing.

When I needed escape, I started rock climbing in a gym. A lot of those folks are into "health" and won't be drinking.

If you need a sober, non-abusing peer group w/o going to meetings, I'd suggest volunteering for whatever is your "hook" for a few hours a week if you can. You will meet cool people who share some of your interests, and feel good about yourself.

It sounds a bit to me like it might be the isolation..... Is that a part of it? In that case, I would do the volunteering thing> I've done that before when not working (and, a tiny bit, WHEN working) and it was a lot of fun.

Books, music, etc., sound alright and all that, but you need something more, it sounds like. THere are non AA meetings to, depending on your flavor of dysfunctions.... (not to be rude, I just mean for example, if you have grief/loss issues, e.g., find a support group for that.)

A lot of therapists run great group therapy that is not structured specifially around drinking, but has a high level of interation.... My sister went to one for awhlie and found it really helpful because it was just, pretty much, a high functioning women's group were everyone's issues were different.

I hope you find something that works for you; you totally can. And it completely does NOT have to be 12 step stuff, that isn't for everyone, in the slightest. And, you CAN stay sober without it.

Anna

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Books, music, etc., sound alright and all that, but you need something more, it sounds like. THere are non AA meetings to, depending on your flavor of dysfunctions.... (not to be rude, I just mean for example, if you have grief/loss issues, e.g., find a support group for that.)

not rude at all

i do need support.

i've had ... uh, bad experiences in AA and in group in general... AA because of ideological issues, and group because of dynamics/probably because i was inpatient... but that doesn't mean that there isn't a group out there for me. and i should look for one. because you're right, i do need one. quite a bit. a lot. a lot lot.

thank you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

i'm a non-AA'er. my only and best suggestion to you is that you need to turn that feeling into something productive. when i get into my moods, and know it, i then try do something physically to wear me out. Pushups. Situps. Gardening all day outside. Just something to burn off the energy and keep me distracted from falling back into the habbit on those bad days.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Penny, I would pick something to do that is WAAAAAAAY out of your normal experiences:

1) Take a pole dancing class. Really. Or belly dancing, or stripping. Something that makes you feel wild and sexy without drugs and alcohol.

One nice thing about "belly dancing" is that you can practice at home as well - it doesn't take much space, and it's great for loosening up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Penny, I would pick something to do that is WAAAAAAAY out of your normal experiences:

1) Take a pole dancing class. Really. Or belly dancing, or stripping. Something that makes you feel wild and sexy without drugs and alcohol.

One nice thing about "belly dancing" is that you can practice at home as well - it doesn't take much space, and it's great for loosening up.

And you know this how, exactly? ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ha! What great ideas!!! And they are helpful on so many levels.

I got sober when I got sane ... they just came together ...

like, oh, ok, i am not so deep in pain, I don't need to drown it out with booze

but i think this is a good topic for reasons beyond what to do when you're not drinking

i think it's also applicable for what to do when you're not crazy

i have had a very hard time adjusting to the fact that i am sane (relatively speaking of course)

when i was crazy sh*t was painful, but there was all that wild and crazy, which was fun and EXCITING

and if that's what you're looking for, i think the things to look at are the things that get the adrenalin going

skydiving, mountain climbing, S&M. whoops, did I say that? well it does get the adrenalin going and helped me transition from insane to sane.

LOVE Olga's ideas of pole dancing and belly dancing. drinking totally helped me feel sexy so these would be awesome, and count as exercise too!

if escape is key, do you have a spiritual practice? would meditation be an option? personally I have become hopelessly addicted to Farmville on Facebook, (yes, I am one of those) it totally helps me zone out, anything mindless and repetitive could do the same thing, knitting, gardening, beading, they all kind of get you out of your head ...

and then there's always the "join a group" thing, softball team, bowling league, book club, gets you out and about and socializing w/o drinking

of course besides Farmville, I am not doing any of these myself, but they are suggested over and over again by the tdoc.

good luck! hope you find something that works for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One nice thing about "belly dancing" is that you can practice at home as well - it doesn't take much space, and it's great for loosening up.

And you know this how, exactly? ;)

I'm out of practice, but I can do chest isolation movements better than some of the ladies. Middle Eastern dance styles aren't strictly for women.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...