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Wife of an Alcoholic


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Welcome. This is really a first-person site, where the person with the disease can talk about their issues. While being co-dependent has its own set of trials and tribulations, it is generally not addressed here specifically unless grouped with another mental disorder.

As the adult child of a recovering alcoholic (now deceased), I urge you to give AlAnon a try. I went to meetings back in the 90's, so I don't know if they have branched out into the web, but I can't imagine that they have not.

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Hi. There is a forum for if you are the person recoverying from addiction, but there is not for being family or friends of someone who is. This site is a first person site meaning that we are geared to talk to the person with the addiction or illness.

Have you looked into alanon? They are specifically set up for family and friends of addicted persons.

Feel free to look around. Some of the threads might be of some use. If you have a mental illness of your own, read, make comments, ask question as you desire.

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If you have mental illness issues of your own, please feel free to stick around and post. We have a relationships forum, and you could discuss your husband there. We kinda emphasize the first person thing because in the past, mentally ill people had their decisions made for them. We get a lot of people who pop is and say "My girlfriend is bipolar and I don't know what to do" or "my wife is depressed and won't snap out of it."

Needless to say, this makes us even crazier!

But please do talk to us if we can help you with your issues. I think it's a good idea to check out Al-anon. My only problem with the 12-step people is that they are not always supportive of MI folks taking their crazymeds.

Good luck and come back any time. Are you replacing the Lexapro with another AD?

olga

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I was just looking for somebody to talk to. I know that I can't change him. The things I've seen on al-anon type boards are too horrifying -- seems like everybody is being abused. And I'm quite introverted, so meetings sound sucky. As does the thought that they want *me* to go through 12 steps. I'm watching the person I love kill himself. I don't feel like exploring my own other issues. Anyhoo.... I guess I don't know what I want. I'll look more into al-anon. Thank you again.

I've replaced my Lexapro with being drug-free and accepting depression. I try to keep busy and healthy. It's been working so far, but I feel like I was just tossed an anvil.

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Would it be possible for you to see a therapist? If you don't do well in groups, a good tdoc could help you with the issues you have dealing with your husband's illness.

I'm trying to think of other resources. It's too bad that the on line Al-anon groups aren't more helpful.

I am very sympathetic because there is a lot of alcoholism in my family. One of the things I found attractive with my husband was that he doesn't like to drink much at all.

I'm sorry you're not trying another anti-depressant. Going off your AD isn't being "drug-free," it's having untreated depression. I suffer from depression, too, and I wouldn't give up my Wellbutrin and go back into that hell for anything.

olga

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If you are in a drastic and traumatic situation, going off your antidepressant is just going to make your life so much harder to bear.

Would you remove a cast from a broken leg and suffer the pain because it is an artificial device?

One of the first lessons you will need to know is that prescribed, prescription medications taken according to your dr's direction are OK and are *completely*different from recreational drugs and alcohol.

You never have to talk in an alanon meeting, and a therapist will help you with anything under the sun.

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I went off Lexapro almost 3 years before any of this happened. I didn't go off of it just to make myself more miserable during a traumatic situation. And as I said, I've been managing without it pretty well. I am aware that drugs are there for a reason, but I am also aware that they are often over-prescribed. My doctor wanted to medicate me for life with blood pressure pills after ONE high blood pressure reading. One high cholesterol reading, same thing. Each time, I had to fight for some time to change my habits, and each time I was able to turn it around. Neither time did my doctor first recommend changing my habits. She just whipped out the Rx pad. So I respectfully disagree with the statement that as long as a doctor prescribes it, it is OK. Doctors are motivated by profit and a guarantee of returning customers. I don't appreciate what Lexapro did to me, nor do I ever want to experience a withdrawal again. I understand that it may become necessary at some point, but right now, the brain shocks and terrifying bouts of amnesia are still like recently-healed wounds that I want to protect.

Yes. It's time for a new doctor. A therapist is a good idea. I had a list of several of them some time ago and gave up after finally calling one and getting an answering machine. I will try again.

Thanks again.

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So I respectfully disagree with the statement that as long as a doctor prescribes it, it is OK. Doctors are motivated by profit and a guarantee of returning customers. I don't appreciate what Lexapro did to me, nor do I ever want to experience a withdrawal again. I understand that it may become necessary at some point, but right now, the brain shocks and terrifying bouts of amnesia are still like recently-healed wounds that I want to protect.

Stay around for a bit, and you will learn rapidly that we are founded in the belief that working with your psychiatrist and taking and staying on a medication regimen properly formulated for your particular brain cooties is the best way to achieve mental health.

If you don't feel that way, you may not feel that we are the best fit for you and your particular health needs.

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