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Need some advice, Please !


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Hi all !

I have a very close friend who I have known for about 3 years.

During that 3 years I have many times remarked to myself that there is just something "off" about some of the things I see or experience when with this person.

(Please don't get offended by that above... you are now talking to BP II/Asperger's/ADHD/massively fucked-up person here  - so by saying "off" I am in no way making a derogatory statement!  In my own true MI fashion, I have often said I wish I could have MPD/DID or delusional schizophenia - then I would have someone ELSE to blame for the shit I do and the bad decisions I make !  LOL - sorry, bad joke, I guess.)

My friend is not very "into" doctors or any of "that".  Once went to a psychiatrist for situational depression (yeah, at the time it would have seemed like that) and did NOT receive proper treatment IMHO.  And refuses basically to go to another one, although he is finally thinking about maybe seeing a psychologist (see below).

He has, on the other hand, complained to his GP (that damn quack!) that he has "memory problems" (I'm sure he didn't REALLY explain the depth of it).  She gave him some kind of "memory test" (for Alzheimer's ???) in her office (about 5 minutes of memorizing) and said he was fine.  STILL, he is constantly complaining about forgeting things.  And now the headaches ... when he gets his "headaches" he completely changes personality.  Although he still answers to his (oh boy... I don't know how to talk about this correctly??) "public" (????) name, he just doesn't seem to be that person. 

I have tried to listen to him, look at him and "experience" him at different times when he seems to be "not himself".  There is a remarkable difference in his posture, gait, facial expressions, his eye color changes to some degree, and sometimes even his voice changes - those I catch onto quick- don't ask me how, but GOD do I dread it when I hear "that voice".  He has immediate, unbelievable mood swings.  Wild, almost out of control rages (not physically violent toward me/people, but can be destructive to objects AND himself - yes he sounds BP or Borderline too !).  I guess it's just something you have to be around all the time to understand.  If anyone can understand I know it is you guys !!!!!

He has tried to explain the "forgetfulness" to me and I, in turn, tried to ask some questions that were (in my mind) indicative of MPD/DID.  His answers seemed to lead that way, but I didn't outright discuss the "dx" with him (my dx of course).

He says: yes, at times he "forgets" time periods... could not be more specific, but it seems to be in the category of hours. Yes, people often tell him he said/did something that he can't remember and "lots of times it just can't have happened, because I don't act that way"....

2 or 3 times in an emotional moment (read that as fighting about something), I have remarked that there are too many people in his head... or something to that effect, and never once has he corrected me.  BUT I still don't think he has a clue about what I mean.

He isn't very "book smart" (that's a very mild, VERY politically correct way of saying he isn't all that bright actually) and doesn't know anything AT ALL about psychiatric/psychological things... and I am just not sure how to go about helping him find someone who can help him.

OH, he was diagnosed at an early age with ADHD and will acknowledge that, although he leaves it totally untreated (and BOY does it need treated !!!).  I think he may have initially believed this "forgetfulness" is part of the ADHD, but he seems to be realizing that it is just "too much" to be just ADHD. (I have ADHD and lots of folks do on here, but no one forgets hours/days and has experiences that they don't remember (extended experiences, I mean)).

Does it sound like it is possible to you guys???  I'm really sorry that I can't be more descriptive, but this is as you know, a hard one to pin down.

Can any of you just give me some advice as to where to start with this?  Should I try to discuss/explain what I think or just strongly urge him to see a psychologist?  What if that person is one of those who doesn't "believe" in MPD/DID?  Is it wise for me to try to "help" him find a t-doc and just "accidentally" find one that can deal with ADHD and whatever else?  He would welcome my "research" and suggestions I think.  Matter of fact, I think he will want me to go with him to his appointments!

Anyway, SOMETHING has got to be done.  It is making him worse if anything, because he is so upset about the "forgetting".

Appreciate ANY advice/help you can give!!!!

Thanks !

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Hi:

  You don't say how old he is. This may or may not make a difference. But some of the things you describe, resemble my husband - who has no dx. He is MI, but has never had a real dx, except for depression with psychotic episodes. He is 63. Medication has helped him have a life. Without it, I fear he would live like your friend.

  My husband is, however, very bright and is not ADD. He is a computer genius, and given the chance to be on meds, your friend could very well be very smart as well. But my husband when having a breakdown, can act like a small child. He doesn't understand the world around him, seems absorbed in "his head" and basically looks at me like I am an alien.

  I get the "different voice" the "different look" that whole bit you describe. Because before he found this current p-doc we went through three years of that. But now he has a wonderful p-doc who has him on a great cocktail of meds, that has him on a great track.

  You are going to have to somehow convince your friend that he has to see a p-doc. That they all aren't bad, and that they can help him. After this much time, I know that can be an uphill battle, and without insurance, well, your choices could be very limited.

 

  Good luck. Your friend sounds familiar, but I believe that just a t-doc is not the answer. He needs meds, and talking him into that could be a trick.

Breeze

 

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Your friend needs to make the decision to see a psychiatrist and to be open and honest about his condition and his symptoms. You are not capable or have the training to diagnosis him or treat him, he needs to see a professional. Sometimes it may help to have another person who has witnessed behavior or symptoms to accompany someone to a psychiatric visit. But he needs to see a psychitrist.

Also, even though we are all here to offer support to others, the site frowns upon offering third person advice. Suggest that he resgister and read the forum for advice and support.

Erika

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Your friend needs to make the decision to see a psychiatrist and to be open and honest about his condition and his symptoms. You are not capable or have the training to diagnosis him or treat him, he needs to see a professional. Sometimes it may help to have another person who has witnessed behavior or symptoms to accompany someone to a psychiatric visit. But he needs to see a psychitrist.

Also, even though we are all here to offer support to others, the site frowns upon offering third person advice. Suggest that he resgister and read the forum for advice and support.

Erika

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

NO ONE asked ANYONE to make a dx remotely over the Internet.

I would NEVER attempt to treat or actually diagnose him !!!  Good Lord, I have enough trouble just staying alive myself right now - I don't need that on my plate as well !

My questions were just "in general"...  as in... could it be possible.  I would suggest to him that he come on here except he doesn't have a computer or want one, and has NO idea how to use one, and doesn't want to know ! Not everyone in the world is computer savvy, not do they want to be.  He would freak out if he thought a bunch of crazy people on the "INTERNET" (that evil, perverted place) were telling him he had a "MENTAL DISORDER".  You obviously don't know anyone who is basically illiterate in "psychological" (and SO MANY other) ways.  Hell half the time he can't pronounce his own name !!!  Give me a break.  He actually doesn't think there is "that much" wrong with him.  It's an "infection or something".  No shit - that's how he thinks - he really is NOT very well versed in medical/psychological things (or most things in the real world).  Realistically, he is like a really big 8 yr old, but he's not "retarded" in the common sense of that word.  Just like not being computer literate, there are REAL people who don't have 165+ IQs.

I WAS asking so I can help guide him in choosing a mental health PROFESSIONAL (we DO have choices between those folks out here in the real world - some are trained to handle MPD/DID and some are not), or didn't you get that part?  Yes, I would love to tell him he "needs a psychiatrist" but that will only alienate him.  If he goes to someone he feels is "safer", like a t-doc - they can gently bring it up over time and not scare the hell out of him.  As far as being open and honest about it - Yeah RIGHT !  Won't happen.  NOR will him making "the decision to see a psychiatrist".  He thinks they only "give you pills to shut you up, and then overcharge your insurance - but never did me any good".  Imagine him going to a p-doc at this point -when, YES they will give him pills and lots of them !!!

Sorry I asked.  I just figured someone on here would "get it" and be able to answer if what I described sounded like more than an infection.

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