Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

I know I should reach out. Tell someone but I won't. I will just let the pressure build. Let people who supposedly "love" me treat me like complete and utter crap until I just explode and snap and take some innocent people with me and then myself.

I have tried. I have. And I have done well. Really, really, really well. But according to people who know absolute shit about everything, I need to be rehospitalized and medicated because i'm upset that i'm treated like shit. Apparently, this is not normal. It's never, ever right to be angry under any circumstances. But it's all fine and good for this person to stand an inch away from my face and scream and yell at me for 10 minutes straight and tell me that im a fucking bitch.

Well fuck it. Fuck people. They are SOOOOOOOO not worth it. None of them are. they are all fucked up piles of shit. And I hope to god, no pray to god that some fucktard presses the button that takes each and everyone of us out of our small and miserable existence.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i don't know anything about your situation but i also frequently "hope to god, no pray to god that some fucktard presses the button that takes each and everyone of us out of our small and miserable existence". i hate that i feel that way but i do. i hate that anyone else would feel that way....

being upset because you're treated like shit should NOT be the green light to hospitalize you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know I should reach out.

Yes, you should.

There. Saying it is easy. Doing it? Not so easy. No matter what some lame-ass self-help guru says.

Tell someone but I won't. I will just let the pressure build. Let people who supposedly "love" me treat me like complete and utter crap until I just explode and snap and take some innocent people with me and then myself.

Here's the catch: the more shit you take and bury, the more of it the people around you feel entitled to dump your way. As soon as you try to stop taking delivery, it's all about how DARE you refuse to accomodate their small needs.

As a metaphor, consider the cost of saving a nickel a day. Look at a nickel. So small, isn't it? Now work out how much you'd have on hand after saving a nickel every single day, from 5 or 10 people, for 10 or 40 years, with compounded interest.

Now, what if that nickel was a nickel's worth of wasted time or added bullshit? I imagine that's how you feel, right up to the moment someone walks past the methane leaks with a lit cigarette. After that, it's just waste and shit everywhere, and a nightmare to clean up afterwards. The idjit with ciggie may have done nothing that deserved being caught in the explosion, but shit doesn't always happen to the truly guilty.

Every once in a while - especially if you don't have any outlets for dumping your own load - the best thing to do IS to step back and just say "fuck it." Go to the hospital, go on a spiritual retreat, whatever. Just completely disengage from the whole fucking mess for a while, until *you* are ready to tackle it again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest gbarnwell

Heh... I often find myself just wishing a comet would smack the earth and end it all. Or, I just go to sleep and don't wake up. Too bad I have family who love me. The thought of THEIR grief without me is what keeps me around, oddly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...