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Sometimes I don't like me and sometimes I love me.


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My name is DeAnna.  I was recently diagnosed as BP. 

I have always been an extremely moody person, either really really really happy or really really really depressed.  Sometimes I cannot be still and other times I sleep all day long.  I am 22 years old.  I've been going to college off and on for 5 years, but I recently quit again because I don't really care anymore.

I have been married 4.5 years, but really don't want to be.  I cheat when I am manic.  I just lay in bed and ignore him when I am depressed.  I also spend lots of money when I am manic.  I get really really hyper.  I like that feeling.  I have a daughter who is my world.  She is the reason I didn't kill myself a few weeks ago when I was depressed.

I don't have a job and I don't really want one.  I have had like 10 jobs since I was 16 because I have a problem with authority and because I just really don't care.

I don't have any hobbies because I get tired of them after about a week.  I don't really have any friends because I don't get along with people that well.

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hi DeAnna,

you sound in a really bad way, totally controlled by your bipolar condition. are you on any meds? receiving any therapy? sorry these are such obvious questions, but they're huge ones.

welcome here. i've glad you've made it. hopefully you can talk to other bp types and get some help from them.

grouse.

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Yes, I have been on meds for almost two weeks:  Trileptal, Zoloft, and Trazodone -though I developed a rash today so we'll see what happens with that.  I haven't really had any therapy yet.  I'm not sure if I will get any.  I go to a community clinic because I can't afford insurance.

I do already feel better than I ever did before.  I guess that's a start. ;)

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well it's GREAT that you're on meds. but two weeks is early days yet for the meds to really become effective. i hope you can find some cheap or free therapy cos being on meds and going into therapy is the BEST way to make progress.

good luck to you.

grouse.

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