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I've had about three weeks of solid mixed state.  My body feels like I'm running very quickly on a treadmill in a dark closet.  And beating my heels against the wall every time I run a step.  I've talked about it with my docs and they maintain that eventually the depakote will stabilize me, but it's been several weeks and I'm skeptical.

I've mostly treated it like an evil depression, which wasn't the best way to handle it.  You know, shutting everyone out and spending 48 hours in my apartment without speaking a word to anyone (if it weren't for work, I'd probably never leave).  But the other side of it is that I've rearranged twice, redecorated once, scrubbed the floors every day (hands and knees with soap and water), and generally worked myself into little frenzied tizzies that I don't know what to do with.  I used to be able to take the manic side of a mixed state and do something useful for the community, but as you can see, the depression rules over more heavily now.

Someone here once described mixed state in a way that made such sense to me; it was something about curling up in a ball and punching through a wall all at the same time.  Yeah.  What is your experience with mixed states?  How do you manage it?  Every day it feels like I loose a little more control.

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What is your experience with mixed states?  How do you manage it?  Every day it feels like I loose a little more control.

Mixed states suck.  I don't manage it very well.  I don't know that anybody does.  It usually gets to a point that I just have to take some time to myself, retreat from the rest of the world and try to feel better.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  I have blocked out most of the mixed state experiences I have had.  Hard to really remember how bad it feels when you aren't in it, and honestly I don't want to. 

If you are working on three weeks of this, I would say you need some medical intervention.  One of the favorite ways of knocking mania/mixed state on its ass is a nice little pill called Zyprexa.  Works really well, and quickly.  If you are waiting for another med to become effective, it will help you stay somewhat sane in the meantime.  Not that I am advocating that for you.  Only a doctor can do that, but you should definately talk to your docs.  If it gets bad and you can't take it, go to the emergency room.   

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What is your experience with mixed states?  How do you manage it?  Every day it feels like I loose a little more control.

Mixed states suck.  I don't manage it very well.  I don't know that anybody does.  It usually gets to a point that I just have to take some time to myself, retreat from the rest of the world and try to feel better.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  I have blocked out most of the mixed state experiences I have had.  Hard to really remember how bad it feels when you aren't in it, and honestly I don't want to. 

If you are working on three weeks of this, I would say you need some medical intervention.  One of the favorite ways of knocking mania/mixed state on its ass is a nice little pill called Zyprexa.  Works really well, and quickly.  If you are waiting for another med to become effective, it will help you stay somewhat sane in the meantime.  Not that I am advocating that for you.  Only a doctor can do that, but you should definately talk to your docs.  If it gets bad and you can't take it, go to the emergency room.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

you say you're bipolar II... and you speak of mixed states? the dsm says that having a mixed state disqualifies you from bipolar II.

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Guest Llamanator

The hard truth: Depakote may or may not work for you. That will take time (maybe on the matter of a few months) to know.

You need something *immediate* to help you, if you can get it. I managed to get Risperdal to prevent a mixed state. Zyprexa is good for dealing with the REALLY severe RIGHTNOW stuff, though.

As someone currently dealing with agitated depression-trying-to-go-mixed, I can say this:

1) something NOT DANGEROUS to fidget with. I have a Koosh ball on a chain. When I get angry, I smack it on things. It's harmless.

2) more things to fidget with. I spin in my desk chair most of the time, many times messing around with said Koosh ball.

3) hot showers. The white noise, the feel of the drops, and the relaxing heat are good. You can also pace around with your eyes closed if necessary.

4) listening to music. Whatever kind helps you release.

5) exercise. If you can manage it, and you find it helpful, it can be a lifesaver. I mean the heavy stuff. As intense as you can manage: it will cause a massive endorphin rush. Just don't push it TOO hard, don't want to get hurt.

6) deep, controlled breathing. WHILE doing the other things. This doesn't mean during a tizzy fit, this means all the time you can manage it. Like a focus thing. I find I can focus on bodily functions when I can't focus on anything else.

7) write. Keep writing. Write some more. Rant on here as much as you like. ANYTHING non-destructive you can do to release some of that tension, 'k?

The most important thing for me is to find a way to find a way to induce long periods of restful sleep. Hard thing to do, I know. I find drugs to be fucking useless for this. That's where the fidgeting, showers, breathing, and more rarely, heavy physical activity come in. Get me to calm the fuck down long enough for the depressive side to take over and order me to bed. It can de-escalate or break agitated spectrum cycles, at least for some time. Sleepy chemicals are powerful.

Good luck, and KEEP POSTING.

Mimi

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you say you're bipolar II... and you speak of mixed states? the dsm says that having a mixed state disqualifies you from bipolar II.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm bpII too and sometimes I think of myself as queen of the mixed state. it ranges from extreme happy/sad to glorious despair to energetic depression, or flickers from euphoria to truly mixed. Aren't hypomanic versions of the mixed state allowed?

When I get mixed/depressed with no euphoric intermingling, it feels like every second is intolerable. What I do is take some seroquel. Knocks me down even though I'm still screaming inside. You're description is so evocative, definitely gave me some uncomfortable memories/sensations.

best,

7

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I've been in & out of mixed state hell for months and I can relate to the hell of it

all.  I feel like I can't do anything but I have to do something!  I try to stay away

from people as much as possible & listening to music does seem to help a bit.  It

takes every bit of my energy not to appear totally batshit crazy at times like

these & it's very draining.  I want to get a big punching bag and go off!  I also

find relief with tearing pages from books one by one.  Sometimes an AP can help

enough so I don't totally lose it.  Exercise is a good idea too- just running can

release some of that uncomfortable energy.  Good luck to both of us getting stable!

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I used to have mixed states and yes they do so suck donkey dong! I don't know what to tell you. I couldn't do anything and felt like I had to bang my head on the wall over and over again until that feeling went awa;y. The logically and pain intolerant part of , fortunately, won out- what a headache!

The thing that helped me is my current meds., which I'm pretty stable most of the time. PMS is a bitch though. Idon't think anyone who isn't BP can understand the awful combo of PMS and BP. Talk about batshit crazy!

Here are my current meds.(btw- seroquel is very helpful- I guess if you are not on an AP, maybe bring it up w. pdoc. HOpe this helped, although I'm sure it didn't. Keep talking about though, that DOES help. Hoping you feel better soon, Mel

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(myrkkyhammas @ Aug 28 2005, 01:16 PM)

you say you're bipolar II... and you speak of mixed states? the dsm says that having a mixed state disqualifies you from bipolar II.

I'm bpII too and sometimes I think of myself as queen of the mixed state. it ranges from extreme happy/sad to glorious despair to energetic depression, or flickers from euphoria to truly mixed. Aren't hypomanic versions of the mixed state allowed?

Not to hijack the thread, but I have no idea what the dsm says about BP and mixed states.  My pdoc said I am BPII.  I would tend to agree, based on what I understand it to mean.  From what I know, BPII has all the aspects of BPI without the delusions and psychosis of BPI mania.  It is entirely possible I have no idea what I am talking about.  I could be BPI.  I don't really care.  As long as my treatment stops the symptoms, I don't care what the official DX is.

Enough about me, are you feeling any better indi? (I am going to call you that cuz I am too lazy to type out indiscriminate)

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Thanks everyone, it helps to know I'm not alone.  It just feels like it when it's 3am and you took all your regular meds (among which is 3mg of klonopin) at 9pm, and still you can't sleep no matter how long you lay in bed and stare at the walls.  I've become very decoration-savvy since I end up spending so much time looking at the damn walls.

I'm a little better today.  I did some cleaning in the bathroom and today I'm going to have dinner with a friend.  I don't know much about APs for mixed states, but I assume I would talk to my pdoc about that, right?  I tried to describe the mixed state to him about two weeks ago and he shoved me off with a big pill of "It'll be okay!  Just wait for the meds to kick in!"  To which I'd like to reply by punching a hole through his wall and then telling him that the meds will fix the hole eventually.

(Currently I'm taking 750mg depakote and 3mg klonopin.)

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I'm sorry you're having troubles I am too and it's a royal pain in the ass. I've been drinking which is a huge no no but I can't relax any other way. Mixed states suck so badly.

Lilie

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I had a mixed state from hell last week, and it ended me up inpatient.  It was a good thing though.  They added Lamictal and Abilify to my Depakote and I am feeling much better now.

Don't be afraid to get help!  Hope you are feeling better.

PS  I learned during that last state that it is indeed impossible to like still and jump up and down at the same time,  ;)

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Indiscriminate, if your pdoc is blowing you off print out your post from the top of the thread and shove it in his face.  No, don't actually shove it, just give it to him.  He needs to know what a nightmare this is for you. 

Sure, the depakote might kick in soon, but in the meantime, you need to be able to sleep.  Sleep deprivation is a huge nasty; for me it induces mixed state or dysphoric or whatever-the-hell-you-call-them manias exactly like what you describe.  Very early on both my pdoc and tdoc stressed over and over how important it is to maintain a reasonable sleep pattern if I want to stay stable, even on meds.

Call the pdoc today and demand help.  He's getting paid for this and you deserve his respect and time.

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I agree on the sleep importance.  BP is all about having a screwed up internal clock and letting sleep get out of whack makes things worse.

After my Pdoc say how are you doing, the second question is how are you sleeping. She always takes action if my sleep is getting bad.  Ambien, seroquel, xanax, whatever.

A.M.

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sorry, one more.  synthetic, you can call me nia if you'd like.  it's even easier than indi, and it's got the bonus of being a name i answer to. ;)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Then you can call me Justin.  I answer to it when I feel like.

Hope you are doing better.  If your pdoc doesn't take you seriously, maybe the wall punching thing wouldn't be such a bad idea. (I know I shouldn't say that, but asshole pdocs really piss me off)

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In june before I went into the hospital I was in a 3 week mixed state. I was batshit crazy/anxious. Everything pissed me off. I talked 90 miles a second on the phone to people, doing nothing but complaining and getting all worked up. And at night I'd crash and cry myself to sleep, only to continue the cycle the next day. Finally I told my mom to drive me to the ER and they admitted me to the mental hospital for 5 days.

My therapist disagrees with the mixed state dx that the pdoc gave me. She said if anything, I have hypomanic states, not mixed episodes. That I shouldn't have been in the hospital and my "mixed state" was just stress that I couldnt handle. I don't see that therapist anymore.

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