Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

First real hallucination?


Recommended Posts

I just saw my dog running into my bedroom even though he was in his kennel.  I was so sure I was like how could he have gotten past the lock?  So I went and looked and he was still in his kennel.

I've had little things like seeing a box of raisins fall from the shelf in the grocery store when none did, but it could have so I just figured, realm of normal.  And sometimes I hear snippets of conversations, but I figure it's somebody somewhere outside my apt because I don't have a way of seeing the hall.

But this one was real.  I am so scared.  Where does this put me on the bipolar brain cooties continuum?  Should I call my pdoc now?  HELP!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks wifezilla!  I also had a good conversation on chat and have left a msg now.  I had a short period of suicidal depression during the day as well, even though I've been in hypomania-bordering-on-mania-land recently, so it would be good to talk to him anyway.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pressmama, glad you left a message for your pdoc.  Until you are able to see him try not to freak out too much, maybe it is med related or something easy to fix like that.  I know, hard to do when you are suicidal one moment and hyper the next. Please let us know how you make out.  Sulu

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So I didn't get to talk to my pdoc on the phone until almost 9 PM today.  He talked about me going inpatient because of the suicidal ideation, but I'm not close to doing something about it....when I'm depressed enough to want to I don't have enough energy to actually do it.  But I've been going back and forth between hypomania and depression for the last two days...I've also had periods where it's non discrete and feels more like a mixed state.  My pdoc thinks its rapid cycling. 

Well here's the thing, we talked about how I'm on two mood stabilizers: depakote and seroquel.  Well they're both really for mania/hypomania (my main problem) but now that I'm having depression and/or rapid cycling it's possible I might need something else.  I'm willing to up the depakote slowly (even though I'm not/barely able to keep down food or "go #2" after a dosage increase) before adding something else that might help rapid cycling, but even upping the depakote isn't probably going to help with depression.  So I asked about starting lamactil and he said he wasn't sure he believed it helped with bipolar (!!!) and that it would take so long to titrate that it wouldn't be worth it.  But SSRIs immediately came to mind (even though he nixed them due to a manic rxn to Zoloft) even though they would take 4-6 weeks to get effect from.  (Also, should depakote not help with my rapid cycling which is worsening rather than improving, he doesn't believe in topamax at all for bipolar.)

So I'm switching pdocs anyway because he's in Chicago and I'm not anymore but the first appointment the pdoc I want here has for a new patient is 9/27.  So my pdoc in Chicago is going to call the one here and try to get me in sooner.  I could understand if Chicago pdoc didn't want me to start on a new med long distance but if that's it, I wish he would just say it. It would be great to get into new pdoc sooner so I don't keep cycling so much.  I could go to the emergency room at the hospital of new pdoc and tell the staff I have an appointment with new pdoc and need immediate help, but I don't want to do that unless it becomes absolutely necessary.

As far as the hallucination, my current pdoc doesn't believe it's part of a psychotic break, which is really good.

If you read all the way through this, THANK YOU!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey everybody,

I've still been rapid cycling today.  This morning, I got up and dressed fully but then decided not to go to my classes because I thought getting sleep was more important.  The sleep did make me feel a bit better which is good.  But I'm still having the ultridian cycling.  I did go to my afternoon lab (they're a pain to miss) and even though it was something I enjoyed doing I just wanted to not exist.  It wasn't a clear wish for suicide, more like a someone hide me under a gigantic rock.  And I couldn't make small talk with the others in the class.  When I'm on the manic end, I have trouble focusing enough to converse and when I'm on the depressed end, I just don't want to talk to people.  I'm not worth it.

I've been napping a lot and my stomach's pretty messed up from the Depakote increases in dose.  I think I need a second mood stabilizer because Depakote's improved my ability to leave the house and perform life functions, but I'm still cycling and it's worsening, so I think another one is warranted.  But my current doc doesn't believe in Lamactil (so I'd have depression coverage) or Topamax (if I am an ultridian cycler) so all I can hope is that I get in with the new doc soon.  I'm just going to try to make it best I can and go to the hospital if it gets really bad.

Thanks for the support!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I started a thread on hallucinations down where Geodon goes.  I have had a rough few days with visuals, and my pdoc just doubled my Geodon, to 80mg twice a day.  This is since Friday, though I had a couple of scattered visuals the past couple of weeks.  The reason I went on Geodon was for visuals, so I was surprised to have them start up again with no warning.  Mostly it's having things move around that aren't supposed to.  I had a very creepy experience the other day with a bump on the wall(I know that sounds stupid).  I'm a bit better with a couple of days on the increased dose, but I'm supposed to call tomorrow.  Bless that man for being on call Friday night, when the office isn't even open Friday.

Anyhow, I have to agree with others, do the best you can to get set up with a pdoc you trust as soon as you can.  This man has gotten me through 7 or 8 years, some of which were sheer hell. And I even have a job, knock on wood.

If you are interested in specifics of what I have seen (ugh) let me know.  I'm very new here, so not sure what the etiquette is.  Used to have a lot of auditory things, but not lately.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have stuff like that a lot, I'll see my mom walk into my room even though she's not home, see my bro walk thru the hall when he's in his room (my mom even asked to see if he didn't actually go into the hall), and see shadowy figures, hear radio/music, etc.  If you're worried about it, you should do something, though I feel it's normal for me since I'm not scared about it.

Stuff like that actually cheers me up a bit at times XD

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...