really?still? Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 I have no idea why I am here other than finding some support, a place to vent (and apparently I can swear like a drunken sailor and not offend anybody and that appeals to me) and hopefully give some support and insight along the way. I have been - struggling - hey, that's it, for well, ever and everything has just gotten worse with age. I have spent my entire adult life (and really even before) in therapy and have had so many diagnoses and tried more meds than the AMA should allow and really other than becoming on top of everything else, great at over-analyzing myself and others, not any better off than I was 25 years ago. Wow, that sounds like whining - oops there's that analyzing thing again. Like many people here, I am pretty well educated (I have a doctorate in physiology - no I don't want to save anyone, my emphasis was molecular reproductive medicine), did the "real world" thing for as long as I could before hitting the proverbial wall and have been unable to work for years now. It's not just work, I have a hard time with the simplest of things - going out is really tough, requires a lot of gritting of teeth and force and I basically I am pretty damn worn out. While diagnosed with depression at one time, I have always considered myself to suffer more from battle fatigue. I am constantly scared - at a baseline level - very anxious to a level of terror that I have yet to find the right descriptor for. So ultimately I fall into the pdocs and tdocs having the - "I have really no clue what is happening and so I will give you the diagnosis of the month" which has ended up with , BP, PTSD, panic disorder, GAD, agoraphobia, DIDNOS, eating disorders, sleeping disorders, blah blah blah - and of course every med under the sun to no avail. Of course this is all based on what I tell them - I think I have trust issues - to go along with my sarcasm. I don't consider myself crazy because I don't think I'd be writing here if I were, though I have been and suspect I will be again. Mostly, I just try to get through the days (and nights) and hang on to the small things that keep me going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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