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Sex addiction - when sex controls you


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I'm really tired of hypersexuality.  With the meds I take I'm supposed to have a hard time even achieving orgasm or lifting the flag.  Gnnnnniiiit!  Nope.  System online, working overtime despite the pills. 

Tired of just thinking "sex" THEN thinking "possible consequences of that lay".  I break a heart on a dime, my own is fucked up and confused, I hurt others and get hurt...  This isn't good at all and I'm not improving with time - I'm 27.

Anybody successfully deal with never being able to resist temptation?  Maybe I should try gradual sex withdrawal for god's sake!  Or abstinence for a certain period.  Don't think I'm a Don Juan or a magazine model, I look average - but sex in the city ain't hard to find.  If I continue like this, there won't be much of a heart left for Mrs. Right. And I really don't want that. 

PBF

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Have you thought of support, like AA for Sex Addicts? i mean, a lot of the things we do as BPs have to do with our psychology too.  Maybe there are some things you need to deal with.  Have you told your tdoc? i think that'd be the best place to start, imho.

I agree.  There are a lot of people out there that struggle with the same addictions, and that could be of a lot of help to you. Speaking with your therapist (if you have one) could be a good place to start, and maybe they could refer you to a good group therapy session.

I at least hope that you're being SAFE, for yourself and everyone else.

XO

ash

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I have the same problem.  The only things that have helped me are getting a mate I want to be exclusive with and staying away from temptation.

I've cheated and called it polyamory.  The truth is, if there's guilt, it may as well be cheating.  I'm not cut out for polyamory.

This is really unfortunate, but, I can't be close friends with anyone I'm attracted to, except my mate.  Too bad, but it works.  It's bad enough that I'm borderline and end up attracted to almost anyone I get close to.  Better to steer clear of those hotties I want to screw right off the bat.

I'm on a sexual diet at the moment.  I was doing well for a few years, then I just got myself in serious trouble AGAIN with screwing around.  Almost got myself a stalker.  This time I had enough of it.  The addiction was ruining my life and my marriage.  I discussed it with my husband and we are now exclusive (I was the only one screwing around, actually).  What a relief.  The hard part will be resisting in those times of mania, but I'm going to do my best, remembering my promise to myself and my husband.

I HAVE to become more aware of my manias.  That's what fucks me up.  That will be a big part of my recovery.

I don't know if that helps.  I'm afraid before I got married, I had no success controlling myself at all.  Having one person to focus on and staying away from temptation are the only way for me.  It is a tremendous help that he actually cares for me and doesn't just want to fuck me (and vice versa).

Oh, one other thing-- I used to be a chronic masturbator, like 3 or 4 times a day (that's during the times I was actually in a relationship!).  That really didn't help.  I just wound up thinking about it more (like, all the time).  Not insinuating that you are-- my point is that the more you focus on it, well, the more you focus on it.  Maybe finding another outlet would help.  I don't know, whatever you enjoy doing that doesn't involve genitals.  It's better than hurting yourself and your partners.

Good luck

Fox

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  • 3 months later...

PFB,

OK I'm soon to be 57 and the hypersexuality is still there. No problem raising the old flag pole, several times a night. What has helped me in the past, is get into a relationship with a gal who has a slightly higher sex drive. If it is more then your's great, but lets face it, that is hard (no pun intended) to come by. If you realize that you are in that state, mediate, pray or what ever can refocus your desires. It is hard to relate to others this compulsion/obsession that we have at times. When I first told my Doc(endocronologist) that I could not walk down the street without mentally undressing women sitting in church doing the same thing(holy cow did I admit to that one?) he actually told me that I was lucky that I still had the sex drive and I was 52 at the time.

Accept that it is there. fight it. If you have to, go to adult sites and peruse for porn if that helps. Remember that this mania is temporary.

Been there done that and got the tee shirt way too many times.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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