As if things weren't crazy enough....

[gizmo]

I have a script for 30 Xanax a month. I've taken up to 120, and as few as 10, but my script for 30 generally lasts 30-45 days.

Well, I've been anxious as he'll with this cooking school thing. So my hubby tells me the unbelievable this morning: I have three pills left, and then I have none left until the 18th. Holy crap. Not only for the withdrawal effects I know I'll have from even sporadic use, I REALLY need it right now more than I have in awhile, because since yesterday, I'm starting to swirl the drain with all my anxious thoughts and doubt and (yes) self-pity. I need something that makes me feel even keel until I can handle my emotions a bit at a time.

So my doc is gone until Tuesday, so I see another doctor Monday to discuss how I fucked up and how he can hopefully fix things for two weeks for me. I hope the doc's not a dick.

Boy, my life is all fucked to six degrees of he'll. I can't ever stay out of bed the entire day. I'm such a loser. If I had a better credit score, everything would be different. But I'm a loser there too. Might as well go swim with the fishes. Bleh.

[celestia]

If I had a better credit score, everything would be different. But I'm a loser there too.

You are not your credit score. Nor are you a loser.

Stating the obvious, but you should tell DH to let you know sooner than 3 pills, eh? Good luck with the substitute doc.

I hope it works out for you. The school thing is a setback. Life is full of them. It's okay for you to be bumming about it, but your dream has not been killed. Just....altered. If you really want it to happen, it will happen.