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Guest Vapourware

Hello good people,

Perhaps some of you may recall an earlier post of mine, where I said I was feeling great and wanted to ditch my meds and therapy? Remember how several of you counselled me against the idea?

Well...guess what. Despite knowing better, and despite being told better - I ditched my medicine and I ditched my therapist. Instead, I was completely convinced that I would never be depressed again and therefore it was pointless to continue seeking medical advice.

I was feeling so-very-good before. Again.

Now I am back in the hole again. Again.

Serves me right.

Now I have to go back to my doctor for another prescription and maybe grovel to my therapist for another appointment.

Hopefully someone else can learn from my mistake: never remove yourself from health professionals unless you receive the all-clear.

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grrl_away I'm sorry you are feeling bad again, but very glad that you are here posting.

Please don't beat yourself up over what you did--you learned a valuable lesson and others will learn from it too.

It was a lesson that I also learned the hard way but it has kept me from doing the it again.

Good luck on getting back on track,

spike

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It was a lesson that I also learned the hard way but it has kept me from doing the it again.

Me, too.

But, doc, I really did think I was all better.

Grrl, welcome to the failed optimists club.

Don't delay calling your doc due to embarrassment.

They've seen it before.

Greeny

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yes, you are FAR from being the first person to try all that. i think it is the most natural thing to think. you feel shitty, get help, feel better, hey you're fixed! so i hope you don't get after yourself for your experiment. maybe your experience, and your willingness to share it with us here will help others to refrain from making the same mistake.

you tried something and no-one got hurt so i'd say it was a success. now just get back in to your therapists and get those meds going again to make sure you get back to being good again.

grouse.

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Dont worry you are in good company with me - I had run out of 75's (effexor) and decided that when I went shopping in 3 more days I would get them then.  So even just the drop from 375 to 300 sent me over the edge and I lost it then.  So, yes I dont know how to look after myself and hence rely on my psych.  A lesson learnt too.

BUT saying that - a friend of mine took himself off all his meds and was ok.  Mind you he is a chronic stoner so that probably "helps".

Anyhow, never mind, we have all tried it at some stage and to some degree so dont worry.  Just keep checkin in.

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Guest Vapourware

Thanks everyone...I feel a little better now that I am not the only one who has had that experience.

I've made a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. I'm contrite and have learnt my lesson.

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I can kinda understand the temptation. I feel reasonably good these days, and I am sick of taking so many pills. It would be nice to think I was ok without them. Even now, I guess I have some internalized stigma. But so far I haven't been tempted because I can still remember being miserable. I hope I remember for a long time.

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You can count me in on the same band wagon too.  I've done the same thing when I thought I could go without meds and went totally apeshit on everyone once all my meds were out of my system.  Months down the line, tail between my legs, I went back to the doctor and said, help me.  Yes, you're not alone.

Elizabeth

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Grrl Away, good topic, sorry you had to find out the hard way.  That being said, at least you found out without irreparable damage.

At my last pdoc appointment she suggested I go off all meds so that I could appreciate how much they are helping me! I told her I knew I needed them, WTF. ;)

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I've done it before, I will probably do it again - as much as I know I shouldn't and my family says they won't let me.  We all do it.  We want to be better and say "Hey I'm better!"  but it is more like remission. 

No yelling, only understanding here.  Life lessons we feel ourselves are the most important and most productive.  Good to know you caught on. 

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add another voice to the "been there, done that" choir.

I'm kind of still there.  I'm not taking all of my meds right now.  I feel a little more emotional, but it's manageable.

But it's bad, bad, stupid and I know it.

Try not to think of it as "crawling back."  You tried something and it didn't work, so you're going back to what was working.  No shame in that!

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Guest Vapourware

Grrl Away, good topic, sorry you had to find out the hard way.  That being said, at least you found out without irreparable damage.

Yep. At least I'm still alive!

Okay, saw the doctor today. Going to start fixing up some...stuff. In my infinite wisdom, earlier this month I had decided I was going to a) change my dissertation topic for uni and B) I was going to stop talking to my supervisor. My dissertation is due next month. Smooth move. At least my doctor and I had a good laugh over that.

@Becca: I hope you'll be okay, and you're right - there is no shame. It's only shameful if I think it is shameful.

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Ditto

I learned my lesson too. After quitting 5 or 6 times. I ended up hospitalized twice, but in quitting meds, I learned to communicate to my pdocs why I didnt like certain meds, which led to med changes which led to finally finding the "right" meds for me. Be aggressive in your pursuit to feel like you are alive, dont settle for just existing and keep the therapists on their toes. Good Luck all

              Joe

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