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Snobby people at the gym suck!


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"skinny bitches" is just another of those phrases that just fits too well sometimes, but can be hurtful depending on the audience. i'm a skinny bitch now. depending on the context, it can be a very directed insult that makes ME feel ashamed of my body. i have an eating disorder. being the skinny bitch isn't making me real happy, it's compulsive behaviour i wish i could be rid of.

and fwiw, since i get let into the "skinny bitches" club now (they seem to seek each other out, it's weird), i've learned a few secrets. it's not truly disgust, but FEAR that drives their

reactions to seeing someone who is overweight. they're afraid of losing the status women

get for being thin. they're afraid that will be them on the outside, tomorrow, next month,

next year. it's an expression of having painfully low self-esteem, but it comes out so very

fucking hurtful.

so just remember that the laughing joking bitches are terrified of you, not disgusted by you. you have a life that isn't dependent on looking "perfect". i don't know if that would have made me feel better when i was in the gym ten years ago. i think it might have helped if i

understood their desperation. it really isn't about you or even about weight.

well that was a tangent that might have been unhelpful, i don't know. i'm alright with the use of "skinny bitches" in this conversation, because in this context i'd probably use it too. it's just not always going to get your message across to us sometimes oversensitive folks. ;)

i used to do a lot of eyerolling at them. today (in that position) i'd probably be overly

friendly just so they'd go out of their way to ignore me heh.

Interesting POV. I have dealt or am dealing with anorexic behavior both now and in the past. And I think you are spot on in saying that it is not disgust but fear that drives these women to behave in that manner. I'll have to try and really think about that. I was worried yes that she was fearful or disgusted by me because my mind instantly goes there because of the anorexic thoughts. But now I'm just more worried about how it has affected my fiancé 's already fragile self-esteem. I don't know. I just hope he is still willing to go to the gym. He hasn't worked out in nearly a week now. It's frustrating.

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I'll just throw in my 2 cents--if you paid for a friggin membership and you are courteous and clean up your sweat, you deserve a time slot on the equipment, spot in the class, whatever. I don't care if you weigh 450 lbs or 95 lbs. I don't care if you're a pro athlete sent by their coach or someone who finds themselves wanting to work off 10 or 200 lbs. Maybe you don't need to lose weight? Maybe you need to gain weight? Maybe you just need to be more flexible or manage your asthma better? Who cares! Every person in that gym presumably has some goal or they wouldn't have paid any money and hauled their asses there.

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Not at all, IN.

It's a statement of fact and you're being willfully disingenuous to imply that your contribution to this thread was solely the result of some need to defend thin women against perceived attacks.

You've stated your opinion openly in crazy chat, and I'm restating it for lysergia, because they are very seldom in chat and likely weren't around.

I find it disturbing when people who suffer from anorexia nervosa, a disorder that stems from, among other things, being terrified of being perceived as sub-human and unlovable because of some arbitrary standard of beauty, think you're advocating on their behalf. The disorder wouldn't exist if there weren't people who devalued women for exceeding some ever changing, arbitrary, shallow idea of a standard of weight.

You're also incorrect that anyone on this thread, at any point, demanded that you, or anyone else accept or approve of their body.

What was at issue here is the lack of respect, and being treated badly, in what amounts to a socially approved manner, because of a pervasive attitude that as weight increases, worth decreases.

You, and you alone, attributed some demand of acceptance to the posters on the thread. Your presence on the thread was to object to something that hadn't even transpired, the hypocrisy of demanding acceptance for one's own body, while simultaneously objecting to someone elses.

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Not at all, IN.

It's a statement of fact and you're being willfully disingenuous to imply that your contribution to this thread was solely the result of some need to defend thin women against perceived attacks.

You've stated your opinion openly in crazy chat, and I'm restating it for lysergia, because they are very seldom in chat and likely weren't around.

I find it disturbing when people who suffer from anorexia nervosa, a disorder that stems from, among other things, being terrified of being perceived as sub-human and unlovable because of some arbitrary standard of beauty, think you're advocating on their behalf. The disorder wouldn't exist if there weren't people who devalued women for exceeding some ever changing, arbitrary, shallow idea of a standard of weight.

You're also incorrect that anyone on this thread, at any point, demanded that you, or anyone else accept or approve of their body.

What was at issue here is the lack of respect, and being treated badly, in what amounts to a socially approved manner, because of a pervasive attitude that as weight increases, worth decreases.

You, and you alone, attributed some demand of acceptance to the posters on the thread. Your presence on the thread was to object to something that hadn't even transpired, the hypocrisy of demanding acceptance for one's own body, while simultaneously objecting to someone elses.

VERY WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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OHHHH............

Some people are fat and they literally cannot change it. Im one. I've gained 30 pounds since june of this year, 2010. that's ridiculous. and it hasnt been because of overeating or crazy meds. its because of my freakin' thyroid that isnt responding.

So,

I'll trip and fall on you, skinny bitches & boys.

had to get the anger out,

db

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It really does generally lead to better discussion if we can be mindful of focusing on the matter at hand, and not allow ourselves to slip and slide into what could be construed as personal attacks.

That is all.

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