Guest Recluse Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Hello folks. I'm...well...a recluse. I'm not really agoraphobic, I just have a lot of trouble making myself leave the house. Once I'm outside, I'm generally okay. I hide indoors all day, every day. The only person I see on a regular basis is my husband, or the other strange people who appear at the grocery store at 4am - my regular shopping time. I work as a freelance author, but because of attention deficit problems, I only do short work. I'd like to actually write a full length script or novel, but with ADHD, it's hard to actually finish anything that I start. That failure frustrates me, and makes me feel guilty and anxious. So I suppose I have the dumb little trifecta of social anxiety, ADHD, and poor self esteem. In comparison to a lot of you, I realize I'm something of a lightweight, but tolerate me, please. Just today, I've started a combination of Vyvanse and Celexa. Hopefully this does something, but I suppose I'm here to compare notes and try to find some behavioral-type support on top of being medicated. I don't think the solution lies solely at the bottom of a pill bottle. At least, I really hope not. Anyway, hello. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koali777 Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Hi, I hope Vyvanse works for you like it did for me. I think being on it actually taught me skills that helped when I got off. For example, I could study better even after getting off of it, and was generally more social. So perhaps there is hope for you! I was also on Celexa at the same time as Vyvanse, but unfortunately the Celexa didn't help me much personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Recluse Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 I hope it works too. I definitely feel medicated but this is only the first day, so I expected it would be a little weird. A few things are immediately apparent though - I can read today. I can read without skipping around and having to go back, which is really encouraging. Aside from that, it's mostly weird negative side effects, dry eyes and mouth, minor auditory hallucinations, like memories. It's all probably related to serotonin levels making random things surface, like hearing someone call a nickname I used ten years ago, or a mumbly radio somewhere else in the house. Anyway, if I can read without jumping around, it's doing something, at the very least. -squee- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Welcome aboard! There's no competion about who has what labels here, you're more than welcome here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarn Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 No such thing as a lightweight! We're all crazy in our splendid individual ways Welcome!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Recluse, I hope we can provide some support and information to you. It sounds like you have had a very difficult time. I want to address the "lightweight" comment, and I'm not being critical---I'm identifying! I felt the same way when I came here: my depression wasn't as devastating as that other person's bipolar, or someone else's anxiety. But we are all mentally ill in some way here---that's why it's such a comfortable place to be. As Vapourware said, there's no competition. We're all bozos on this bus. Check out the chat room if you would like to talk with one of our members. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Recluse Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Recluse, I hope we can provide some support and information to you. It sounds like you have had a very difficult time. I want to address the "lightweight" comment, and I'm not being critical---I'm identifying! I felt the same way when I came here: my depression wasn't as devastating as that other person's bipolar, or someone else's anxiety. But we are all mentally ill in some way here---that's why it's such a comfortable place to be. As Vapourware said, there's no competition. We're all bozos on this bus. Check out the chat room if you would like to talk with one of our members. olga There's a chat room? O..O'' This is what I get for having a gnat's attention span. I appreciate all the welcome and reassurance, it's good to know I'm among birds of a feather. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koali777 Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 I hope it works too. I definitely feel medicated but this is only the first day, so I expected it would be a little weird. A few things are immediately apparent though - I can read today. I can read without skipping around and having to go back, which is really encouraging. Aside from that, it's mostly weird negative side effects, dry eyes and mouth, minor auditory hallucinations, like memories. It's all probably related to serotonin levels making random things surface, like hearing someone call a nickname I used ten years ago, or a mumbly radio somewhere else in the house. Anyway, if I can read without jumping around, it's doing something, at the very least. -squee- Ohhh...I just got on here and saw this and wanted to say at least keep an eye on the auditory hallucinations. It's just the first day so your body is probably just adjusting, but it's a very stimulating drug so you don't want it to make you psychotic or anything. I definitely got very strange on it after awhile! But I'm so glad you are able to read! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Blue Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 I recognize that avatar! Welcome to the forum. I'm quite new myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Recluse Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 I recognize that avatar! Welcome to the forum. I'm quite new myself. Hey thanks. You too, welcome. I don't remember where this av came from, I was just looking for an image and found it in my random stuff. I probably found it on 4chan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scatty Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Hi. welcome to CB! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emettman Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 Hello and welcome... It's not a bad palce at all to keep an eye on your and other people's craziness, and duck out from the craziness that is the allegedly "normal" world. Reclusive I'm familiar with, though I can do "social" as required. You've got as far as a partner, anyway... I did try a lonely hearts ad: "Intellectual recluse seeks similar female. Possibly. Your ivory tower or mine? If serious please send revealing picture of your bookshelves. No, that is not a euphemism." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Recluse Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 Hello and welcome... It's not a bad palce at all to keep an eye on your and other people's craziness, and duck out from the craziness that is the allegedly "normal" world. Reclusive I'm familiar with, though I can do "social" as required. You've got as far as a partner, anyway... I did try a lonely hearts ad: "Intellectual recluse seeks similar female. Possibly. Your ivory tower or mine? If serious please send revealing picture of your bookshelves. No, that is not a euphemism." I like to imagine that some lady shut-in would be charmed by that ad. I know if I were in a similar situation, I would be...though asking a Lady to send revealing photos of her bookshelves is a bit brash, you'd only get one corner and the teasing spine of a single book, if it were me; somewhat akin to sending a photo of one's toe. My reclusion is not so severe that I'm housebound, but it's very, very close. During those rare periods that my depression worsens, I want to put newspaper on the windows. >_< Thankfully it's been a while. It's not the outdoors that sends me running, it's all the people out there, often stupid, always violent, with screaming children and hard stares as I pass. Thank you all again for the welcome. It's nice to have a pocket of relative sanity here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emettman Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 ... you'd only get one corner and the teasing spine of a single book, if it were me; somewhat akin to sending a photo of one's toe. OK... What one spine title would you tease me with? (I'm not sure I'd show "The Social History of the Machine Gun" on a first exchange. Actually, come to think of it, my bookshelves might be too revealing!) Chris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Recluse Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 ... you'd only get one corner and the teasing spine of a single book, if it were me; somewhat akin to sending a photo of one's toe. OK... What one spine title would you tease me with? (I'm not sure I'd show "The Social History of the Machine Gun" on a first exchange. Actually, come to think of it, my bookshelves might be too revealing!) Chris. Well, if I'm going to be truly candid about this, I have to just look up and name what's there. 'The Philip K. Dick Reader' and next to it, 'Transmetropolitan' by Warren Ellis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emettman Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 Ah, anyone reading Philip K. Dick can't be all bad, (but might be seriously disturbed) . I have an annual reading ritual for this coming month: "A night in the Lonesome October" by Roger Zelazny. Read as it is written, a chapter for each day until Halloween. I have few graphic novels (or comic books) But i do have the entire Sandman series by Neil Gaiman. edit: spelling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Recluse Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 I have an annual reading ritual for this coming month: "A night in the Lonesome October" by Roger Zelazny. Read as it is written, a chapter for each day until Halloween. I have few graphic novels (or comic books) But i do have the entire Sandman series by Neil Gaiman. I might have to borrow that ritual-tradition. I own 'A Night in the Lonesome October', but haven't gotten to it yet. Neil Gaiman is a great author. 'American Gods' is one of my favorites that he did. As for comics, I'm not a huge fan, but I love the cyberpunk/science fiction/dystopia genre, so anything in it is fair game. Warren Ellis's 'Transmetropolitan' is entertaining in a snarky, misanthropic sort of way. I'd like to read more William Gibson, but my poor attention span has so far forbidden more than a few, he's a little on the dry side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emettman Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I own 'A Night in the Lonesome October', but haven't gotten to it yet. Did you start it? Suddenly prompted by realising tomorow is when I re-arrrange my kitchen window for Halloween. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Recluse Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I did start it, yeah. I haven't read a chapter a night, but I'm getting through it in fits and spurts as my attention allows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithNikkiIan Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 I just wanted to say that in certain times in the past my illness has felt worse but right now my illness isn't that bad although I have my problems, so I appreciate the comments about not comparing peoples' illnesses and how we all fit here. I obsess about stuff like that sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mompcork Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Hello folks. I'm...well...a recluse. I'm not really agoraphobic, I just have a lot of trouble making myself leave the house. Once I'm outside, I'm generally okay. I hide indoors all day, every day. The only person I see on a regular basis is my husband, or the other strange people who appear at the grocery store at 4am - my regular shopping time. I work as a freelance author, but because of attention deficit problems, I only do short work. I'd like to actually write a full length script or novel, but with ADHD, it's hard to actually finish anything that I start. That failure frustrates me, and makes me feel guilty and anxious. So I suppose I have the dumb little trifecta of social anxiety, ADHD, and poor self esteem. In comparison to a lot of you, I realize I'm something of a lightweight, but tolerate me, please. Just today, I've started a combination of Vyvanse and Celexa. Hopefully this does something, but I suppose I'm here to compare notes and try to find some behavioral-type support on top of being medicated. I don't think the solution lies solely at the bottom of a pill bottle. At least, I really hope not. Anyway, hello. Those first few sentences are so me. I don't go anywhere without my husband. I say it's because I don't like to drive on the mountain roads, but I really just need him with me. I also have the trifecta that make life unbearable sometimes. I haven't taken either of the those meds, let me know how it goes for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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