Back after a hiatus

[MDF]

I'm not really new here. I joined years ago, but I can't seem to log on anymore with my old username because I haven't logged in for the past few years. My fault. It's cool.

I've been treated by psychiatrists for about 12 years now. I've tried about 20 different psych meds over the years, and my current meds seem to work best at keeping me relatively sane. With the side effects, it's hard to get out of bed in the mornings. My pdoc suggested that I apply for SSDI about six years ago, so I did. They approved me, which was good because I hadn't been able to hold a job. I've been getting SSDI payments since 2004, and recently I've been looking for work (Ticket to Work program) because I feel more stable now.

I'm nearly 40 years old now. I graduated from college with a degree in Psychology. I chose that major to better learn about myself and my mental illness. I had returned to college in my early 30's to finish my education after dropping out when I was in my early 20's. I live in Southern California with my family. My wife works full time while I stay at home and do the cleaning, cooking, and errand running. My parents don't like that I don't work, even if several psychiatrists all agreed that I couldn't at the time. But I'm feeling like I could give work another try now. I've been putting out applications and sending resumes, but so far no company has responded.

I have a cat who keeps me company during the day when my wife's at work. I want to get him a buddy, a kitten or young cat from a rescue shelter, soon. My cat makes me feel better when he lies on my belly and purrs when I'm feeling low.

My symptoms are well controlled now, but I used to deal with paranoia and depression on a daily basis, and it kept me housebound for months. I also had some visual hallucinations, but I was good at telling myself they weren't real, so I ignored them. But now the meds keep me grounded so I don't get that symptom anymore.

It's good to be back here after not logging in for so long.

[jarn]

Welcome back!