Newbie from KY

[ThePhanastasio]

Hello, all! My name is Sara, I'm 23-years-old, and a resident of the state of Kentucky. When I was about 14, I had an episode which resulted in hospitalization and a diagnosis of schizophrenia. I was given an anti-psychotic (Zyprexa), and was unable to really function on that. It also didn't help my severe depression issues, and my complete confusion about why I went through periods of elated bliss, sheer panic, psychosis, depression, and various combinations thereof. As a result of the medication, I gained about 30 pounds in a few months' time and felt like a miserable, numb zombie. When I was 16, I attempted suicide for the first time, conversed at length with my psychiatrist and therapist, and it was suggested that I might be schizotypal, but they couldn't "diagnose it yet". They said I had some form of psychosis in addition to severe depression, and they lowered the dosage of my medication in addition to starting me on an anti-depressant. I gained 10 more pounds. When I was 17, I attempted suicide once again, and after being hospitalized and placed in the psychiatric ward, they finally decided to look at my family history.

My father suffers from extreme depression and had never been completely diagnosed by a therapist as he ceased treatment, so that didn't help them too much. They took me off of medication and kept me for some time for observation. They asked a lot of questions, and finally asked me if I generally felt the psychotic effects in conjunction with the depressive effects, if they ever occurred independently, or if I'd ever noticed anything peculiar with my moods other than that. I explained that I'd only really noticed any "psychotic" effects three times in my life, that I was more prone to feel completely normal for a little while, then either get really depressed or really energized, occasionally really sad, angry, restless, and suicidal all at once. Finally, they diagnosed me as having Bipolar I, nearly four years after I first sought treatment.

I continued treatment for a little while after that, but they were unable to ever find a med with which I was compatible, and when I was 19, I stopped going to the psychiatrist and therapist altogether. Now, I've been over three years with out medication or real treatment, and have a really good idea of how I tick. I'm not going to say that I can control my moods, but I can generally tell when I'm going into a bad state, be it manic, depressive, or mixed. As such, I have figured out a bit of how that usually goes down, what has made it better / worse in the past, and act accordingly. Occasionally, I have been prone to recklessness in mixed or manic states, but generally I can keep myself pretty safe and have many close friends who have seen me at all of my extremes and understand what's really going on. They've been more of a help than the therapist and psychiatrist ever were.

Additionally: I have shed all of the weight I gained as a result of the medications I was on during my teen years, and am in probably the best shape of my life.

[fromtheoutside]

Hi! New here too. I can relate to a lot of things you said. I started having major mood swings when I was 13-14 that were not that of a "typical" teen. And When I was 16 I told my friend that I wanted to kill myself and she told a couselor. Had to sign this no harm paper thing. Anyway... My dad was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, and had a lot of issues with depression. He ended his life when I was 4. And I was diagnosed bipolar 1 after being hospitalized this past year. Anyway, this was just my rambling way of saying hello!