Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

ah, piss on it! (zoloft, etc.)


Guest ape stuff

Recommended Posts

Guest ape stuff

edited to write: This stuff was written on a really bad day. Zoloft is keeping me from having an absolute meltdown. I never actually went through with quitting the meds, thank God. end of edit

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nice vent! and completely understandable

but I really hope you call your pdoc before you do anything

'cause you have been around long enough to know what can happen

I relate to the stuff about the SSRIs...I take them and get sick. Never did convince my former RO of a pdoc and so I remained sick and went cold turkey off it.

a stupid, dangerous thing to do but I was desperate.

Tried using supplements, etc. for a long time and thought I was doing ok

but I crashed big time.

Fortunately I now have a pdoc who listens to me and works with me.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, but please let us know how you are doing, ok?

spike

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First, congratulations on the job offer!

and you sure have earned a better mood, and I truly am sorry that it's not there.

but I do see some anger about it and that is good  ***jmo***

when I get angry enough about snakeoil stuff, etc is when I make the most progress.

but, please, give the pdoc a chance and see if he/she has something different to offer you.

you deserve to "feel" good and happy and peaceful and proud and be able to count on your med(s) to help you through tough times.

and if it ain't working, safely get it fixed

please

don't stop anything cold turkey or without a backup or without your pdoc at least knowing what is going on

hoping for an easy transition for you!

spike

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congratulations on the job.  Sorry to hear you're having troubles.

Thought I'd put in my two cents re SSRIs:  I tried Prozac, Zoloft, and maybe one other - it's been a few years, I forget, and they helped a little, but not nearly enough.  The pdoc and I came to the conclusion that I have atypical depression which manifests itself by making me want to sleep all the time and eat too much.  The SSRIs just make me more of a sleepyhead. 

He switched me from SSRIs to Wellbutrin, which is in a class by itself as it doesn't fit the model for any of the other anti-depressants.  It's activating, and it made a huge difference for me.  As you can see in my signature, some other things have been added in over the years, but I was on straight Wellbutrin for three years or so and it worked fine. 

Maybe your pdoc can switch you on to some other meds that will work a little better for you.  I'm familar with the feeling of wanting to sweep them all into the trash, but please resist the urge and give the doc a call first.  Also, don't forget the option of another pdoc; there are lots of losers out there with medical licenses.  Let us know how things go for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ape stuff:

I think the advice about trying Wellbutrin or another drug is good advice.  If you go off the Zoloft without medical guidance, are you setting yourself up for a slide into the deep pit?

I know it seems that we should feel better when we take this stuff, but depression and anxiety are up and down and around:  someone wrote on this board once that you can't expect linear progress.  So if you're having a whole lot of bad days, get your doc to switch you to another med.  Or two meds.  Or more.  If you go to a GP, he is not supposed to be prescribing multiple crazymeds.  (That's what my primary care guy told me.)  So if you have a med-resistant depression, you should be with a pdoc, because you probably need a cocktail.

Dear apey honey.....don't stop the meds and use that as an excuse to drink and smoke grass.  Then you have to quit all over again and go through all that crap.

You sound like such a smart guy--and they offered you a job!  If you weren't excited about that, it shows me what a hold the depression has on your brain.  So you need the right chemicals to lift that superior salesman out of the pit and put him in the car so he can SELL SELL SELL!

Don't let the bitch that is addiction sway you from the path.  You are on the right track and just need to get the best meds for your particular brain.

olga

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For the record, I was not a daily drinker, and I have not had a drink in a month. My energy was better when I was self-medicating though. I was also more grateful for and participative in the world around me. I'll leave him a message sometime this week. Thanks again.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest FrannyNZooey

He switched me from SSRIs to Wellbutrin, which is in a class by itself as it doesn't fit the model for any of the other anti-depressants.  It's activating, and it made a huge difference for me.  As you can see in my signature, some other things have been added in over the years, but I was on straight Wellbutrin for three years or so and it worked fine. 

Maybe your pdoc can switch you on to some other meds that will work a little better for you.  I'm familar with the feeling of wanting to sweep them all into the trash, but please resist the urge and give the doc a call first.  Also, don't forget the option of another pdoc; there are lots of losers out there with medical licenses.  Let us know how things go for you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks, Catnapper. Wellbutrin does sound like a possible course for me. My pdoc indicated last week that Paxil might be his next recommendation. He brought up the 2/3 statistic and implied that one of the ssri's will do what it is supposed to do for me. My mind added the comment, "No matter what you think, you self-absorbed drug-grubbing dirtbag". That's just the impression I get from him. The guy isn't dumb. He is a professor at the University of South Carolina in addition to being a shrink, pediatrician and CBT guru. I am convinced that he will be unimpressed with the revelation that I am becoming depressed and that he will attribute it mostly to alcohol withdrawal. For the record, I was not a daily drinker, and I have not had a drink in a month. My energy was better when I was self-medicating though. I was also more grateful for and participative in the world around me. I'll leave him a message sometime this week. Thanks again.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Alcohol affects dopamine and norepinephrine activity in the brain, so that could be a clue as to what you need.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sad but true, when I was on meds first Zoloft, then lexapro, which made me angrier than hell, I was told manic so put on Lithobid, which made me zombie as hell.

Husband was like "Hey why don't you drink anymore, I know ups and downs, but at least some fun"  And I thought hey was also only occasional drinker, which thank god, since alcohol and I don't mix,or the law with it, low tolerance, kind of like from that 2 glass of wine, to hey where am I?

I don't want to be angry, I don't want to be zombie, and I surely do not want to have to drink to find myself(which could be oh don't even want to go there, too many places) Have not had drink for over year, so why bother?

I have read in Zoloft lit. and crazymeds that Zoloft is therapeutic at 50 mg, maybe need to cut back to 75 go from there, then if no relief, help, see about the Paxil or Wellbutrin.

Only been on Wellbutrin low starting dose, taking it easy, for 2 days, don't feel like crying, not all day anyway, or yelling, or being just plain annoying kind of like Don Rickles if ever caught any of his stand up schtick. So far seem to be maybe helping my depression, my kind of lack of attention?

peace, Aly

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest FrannyNZooey

Thanks for the reply, Aly. I've gotten some good tips from around the board to help me read up on this whole dysthymia thing some more. My doctor also concurs that it is probably time for me to switch from Zoloft to something else because of my very uncharacteristic withdrawal from the family and general cycnicism of late. Right now I'm feeling the way I did when my depression started getting bad over twenty years ago. I'll ask my pdoc about the Wellbutrin. It sounds like a lot of people have had good results with it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You Welcome. I know new to here, but have been reading the med portion of crazymeds, and remedyfind for months. I wanted to find an answer also, I was same, back where I was over three years ago, triggered by alot of real stuff, like two brothers sudden death, led to me being out of it, to divorce from guy I still love.

And yes I am remarried to guy I am sitting on lap on picture. Got married just one year after being dumped da dump, got that Philly furniture commercial in my head!

So, I am so very much praying Wellbutrin works for me, only third day, but as posted on remedyfind going to really give it go this time!

Good Luck, Aly

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest FrannyNZooey

And yes I am remarried to guy I am sitting on lap on picture. Got married just one year after being dumped da dump, got that Philly furniture commercial in my head!

So, I am so very much praying Wellbutrin works for me, only third day, but as posted on remedyfind going to really give it go this time!

Good Luck, Aly

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good luck with the Wellbutrin. I should have named this thread differently, but I was ticked off at the time. I have to admit that when my zoloft level is high enough to slow me down it does seem to blunt the depression and irritability. I guess I am way too high maintenance. I want something that will take away the blues and still allow me to be energetic. I kind of suck that way. By the way, that hubby of yours is a lucky man.

Edited to correct typos

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am so inpatient! I am not sleeping on Wellbutrin, and hate to admit it, I am very anxious.

So, I guess it is not good for me, I guess back to SSRI's.

I spoke with pdoc today, and was like he knew it would be coming. So tomorrow I am back on lexapro. It in all honesty did not put weight on me, in fact opposite in search of perfect med, is when it happen, charts do not lie,even if I wanted to believe they did.

Weight gain whole time was 6#, so I just wanted it all too. Actually concentration, anxiety were controlled, I was more focused, I worked, worked out, and you know what muscle does weigh more than fat!

So, now time to be honest with self, no miracle pill, back to square one.

Things were not all perfect, but at least I was doing things!

Thanks for compliment, hopefully someday I will be acting like he deserves, as person that wants to be where they are.

Been while, long while since felt that way.

Aly

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Apestuff:

I think supplements can be really good, particularly if you don't eat a healthy diet every day.  Having said that, I don't add a single vitamin to my diet without checking with my doctor first.  (I also look stuff up on the Net and go to drugs.com and places like that for interactions.)

Don't know about you, but I'm on five different meds, and there are just too many ways all that stuff can interact.

So, yeah---call your  pdoc and don't take stuff and don't drop meds without his okay.  I've always felt that I'm paying this guy for his knowledge and expertise----so why should I listen to him and then do something else?

You stopped your Buspar "just for the heck of it?"  Is this a guy thing or are you in denial?

You make me laugh, and then you make me scared.  This is almost like being married!  Call your doctor today, you knucklehead.  (And I say that with LOVE, Apey honey.)

olga

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest FrannyNZooey

OOOPHAHHH...Was this crazy?

Decided to go a day or two without the Buspar just for the heck of it. Maybe I can save a few bucks. Checked on my possible Zoloft interactions before heading to the vitamin store for some natural goodies to supplement my diet. Returned with fish oil with a good epa to dha ratio (I think those are the abbreviations), and grabbed some L-glutamine and a liquid multivitamin to kick up the neurotransmitters and hopefully enhance my exercise results. Jogged a modest four miles today and added the new higher dosage of fish oil to my L glutamine, B vitamins and plain old multivitamin. Moods started going bananas about three hours later, up, down, over here, over there, minute by minute, accompanied by a noticeable increase in heart rate. Feels like a major caffeine rush without caffeine as the culprit. My depression is at bay, so I can handle it if anyone wants to say that I am friggin stupid. I cannot find any contraindications with Zoloft and these supplements on the web, so I'll spazz a little longer and go to bed. Guess I'll have to talk to my Pdoc like I should have before screwing around with my meds. Am I missing any dangers here other than common sense?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ApeStuff, How are you doing? I also take fish oil use to 1 cap 3 x day for months, but heck with so many vitamins etc. it really adds up, I take now 1 cap in AM with my super duper(so told) multi vitamin, then 1 cap in PM with my B vitamins.

Did you call doctor? Are you feeling any better? I hope you are.

Was the heart rate and mood change found out due to just stopping buspar? I know with me just knowing something I have needed so badly in past for anxiety, if out of it, can make me go to that place. Know it for fact, because soon as RX is called back in to pharmacy and know it is waiting there for me, brings on a calm.

Does it make me a headcase? I don't think so, or think anyone here would believe so. For we know how bad a panic attack, that anxiety can be. And that was and is real, and that does cause real fear. So it is very normal to want and need to protect yourself.

So, please take care of yourself.

Aly

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest FrannyNZooey

Nice of you to ask, Aly. I have spent the last week rooted to my recliner. Thank God the new job does not start until Monday. This is really unusual for me; not talking to the wife and kids unless I have to, barely exercising because I am unmotivated, binging on sweets (like my 12 ounces of tootsie rolls yesterday)...I am resigned to the fact that my mind will not know pleasure in the foreseeable future.

My pdoc agreed a couple of days ago that it is probably time to try something besides the Zoloft and Buspar, so I am reducing the Zoloft as we speak. Based on other conversations I have had with him, I expect the next prescription would be Paxil, but he may be open to trying Wellbutrin. Who knows? At this point, I do not plan to start another round of meds until I see how I react to being med-free. I'm just too bummed out with the results from Lexapro and Zoloft. To be truthful, I AM looking for the doctor to prescribe"happy pills", and I realize that this is not what ssri's are for.

Anyway, I am taking a good multivitamin, B vitamins and L-Glutamine with my fish oil and will probably throw in some kava for good measure, once the Zoloft is out of my system. I am as pessimistic about my own planned cocktail as I am with the Pdoc's bartending, but you gotta try, right?

This is probably more self-pity and cop-out than science, but I have read about "reward deficiency syndrome". I think it may go hand in hand with my official diagnosis of dysthymia. I am not presently self-medicating with alcohol or off label drugs, but these were the only respite I've ever known from a life that is only frightening or bland, never really desirable.

While I am at the self-pity, I have had an unrelenting tension headache for a couple of weeks now. My Pdoc says this could be coming from the Zoloft, but it is still with me in my second day at half dose. I am hoping that the new job next week will reinvigorate me because I want my physical fitness if nothing else. I really don't think the uncertainty of starting a new job is a big factor in my crappy feelings. The position looks like a good fit. I think life in general really does suck and that normal people are amazing in their ability to ride the wave. Sorry for the verbose reply.

Walt

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You Welcome Walt. I really do want you to get some relief from this, gives me hope you know?

I so agree ever since literally the Whole House of Cards came down on me, I have been like Alice in Wonderland looking for the right potion. Each one tempting me by their promises, and alas no delivery so left high and dry.

Very dry, for as put in other post alcohol and I not good mix. And yes led to me thinking could do 'other" things also.  For that period spelled RELIEF but that sure went away when all the consequences came.

I also, can not get real life satisfaction from a job, I need more than that. Family was really my big savior for the years I allowed it, but then things happened in life, such as death. I could not handle something so big, so out of my control. Then I got those temptations, then consequences, then these very very dark deep blues. Yes, sometimes I get very strong urge to go out to some nightclub, right now after what I wrote could take in some good Jazz and Blues, but know I would do much more, and god I hate when that sunrises in my eyes, and drag self to bathroom, looking in the mirror is just the worse, very worse punishment of all, guilt.

I too am still looking for that happy pill. The one that will make me care about myself, for I can not stand not being who I always was before. I can not stand not going to gym, not pushing self to physical limit, that was always my high before. That is what I want back. I really hate that moved back to home state, lost so many friends, workout buddies, great gym, great area before. Sitting around just thinking about all that is wrong, big pessimist here too, and eating Twizzlers.

But you take some time and just hang out with kids, even if say just five minutes to yourself, same with wife, and see how long it goes.

Hey listen to me, do what I say not what I do. Just remember one thing you have what I and many others do not have at this time. That is people that really love you and you really love back, even if can't really feel excited about it, but it is there, living with you, and putting up with you : )  Just a friendly jab there, I like it rough : )

Have a Good One, Aly

PS Good Luck Monday w/ job, and new meds!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest FrannyNZooey

Sounds like you and I both need to stay in the gym and out of the bars, Aly. It also sounds like you have had tougher circumstances to contend with than I have on the road to ssri treatment. This puts things in perspective for me. I truly hope that your therapy and meds are effective for you and that you will soon bounce back into fighting form.

My gradual separation with Zoloft is progressing smoothly so far. My Pdoc has had me cut back to 50 mg a day for a few days before going off completely. I was at 150 mg as recently as a week ago, so this may be a little quick. Anyway, I've had nothing like withdrawal symptoms yet. My mood is actually a little better today, and I found the energy to jog for the second day in a row. I was one of those six-day a week runners until my emotional state went south early in the year, so I am encouraged by this indication that I may not have become a hopeless couch potato after all.

I am still going to AA meetings for human company outside of the home. Social anxiety always kept me from developing any unnecessary relationships until I found this particular room full of recovering neurotics, cynics and onetime misfits. I try to listen and not get too distracted by the women in the group, but the latter make a pleasant diversion when somebody starts yammering away too much. I hear things I need to hear there as well. My Pdoc has expressed little interest in discussing anything except my previous alcohol use, so I guess that I am also respecting his input by being so committed to sobriety right now.

That last point is kind of weird because I am quite sure now that I will not return to this particular Pdoc. When I call him next week, it will be to inform him that I will not be making future appointments because I have decided to take my diagnoses and medication record to my GP. There is no question that my depression has worsened over my two months with the Pdoc. Not his fault, of course. It simply is what it is. No sense pouring good money after bad.

I still plan to maintain my responsible sobriety until that glorious day when I can be entrusted with prn medications. I kind of resent being pigeonholed as a drunk when I have always sought only to live a modest and placid life. I don't know about reward deficiency syndrome, but dysthymia is real. I am keeping a daily journal as instructed in my self-help tutorial Half-Empty Heart (Thanks, Cerberus), and I am finding that my biggest hurdle is identifying any belief at all inside me, unhealthy or otherwise. Everything is just what it is. I wish I had a pattern of irrational thoughts that I could replace with rational ones to assure myself that life holds promise of good feelings. I guess I have one big fat irrational thought; that life does not offer such a promise.

I vow not to continue a self-indulgent blog here. This site is for med talk. I believe that I am going med-free. Weird stuff may happen as a result, and it would be even beyond my own selfishness to whine about my tragic existence after giving up on my treatment. Thanks for your replies. I'll be around.

WW

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...