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A very shy guy goes into a bar.......


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A woman went to a casino for the first time and soon got bored playing slot machines. She wandered up to a roulette table and asked how the game was played.

The rules were explained and she "Well that sounds like fun. But what number should I bet on?" The croupier sighed and said, "why don't you just bet your age."

So she said "OK, I'll put $20 on number 26."

The wheel spun, the marble rattled around... and landed on 34.

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  • 8 months later...

A farmer wants to get his two female pigs pregnant but he can't afford

the stud service so he goes to the Vet.

Farmer- " Hey doc I've got these two pigs I want to breed but I can't

afford to stud 'em, is there anything cheaper?"

Vet- " Well there's artificial insemination - Blah Blah Blah " He goes

on to describe some pretty expensive procedures all of which are out

of the farmer's price range.

Farmer- " No none of that stuff will do, Its too expensive, anything

else?"

Vet- " Well, not many people know this but human DNA is close enough

to pig DNA to produce offspring. Here's what you do - take your pigs

out at night, load them in your pick-up, take them out to the fields

and have sex with them. No one will know what you're up to and you'll

get them pregnant."

Farmer- " How will I know they're pregnant?"

Vet- " If they're pregnant, they'll be lying in the shade the next

day."

So the farmer follows the advice and that night he struggles to put

the pigs in the truck, drives out, porks them, and drives back later

that night. The next day the pigs are just standing around. So the

next night he does it all over again only he porks each one twice and

drives back even more tired. Next day - nothing , they're just walking

around. So he goes out again, porks them three times each and comes

back in more worn out than ever. This goes on for the rest of the week

and by Saturday the farmer is too tired to get out of bed so he asks

his wife to get up and look outside at the pigs.

Farmer- " What are the pigs doing dear?"

Wife- " I don't know, one of them is jumping up and down in the back

of the truck and the other is blowing the horn."

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