My friend sorta sucks (certain aspects)!

[llama44]

So, ugh I really have to rant about this. I love my guy friend dearly but sometimes I secretely am jealous of him. First off his dad is a wealthy dr. and his mom has her own business. So yeah, his family is really rich. Yet he is always borrowing money from me. !? I'm the poor one! He gets SSI too. Um.....work the system much? How in the flying fuck does he deserve SSI? His parents are so flipping wealthy! They can afford to take care of him. (He also lives at home so has no rent to pay) He was on the housing list for low rent too and got pulled up for that, but opted out because why should he do that when his parents give him a place for free? I too am on the housing list but haven't been as lucky with that. I'm paying over 1/3 of my SSDI on rent currently. And get this, so I get $18 a month in food stamps, right? RIDICULOUS! He gets $200 a month in food stamps! WTF? He said his mom filled out the forms and his mom must have fibbed on certain things because how and the hell does that work?

And he functions fine! He is going to school full time and handles that just fine. I am also jealous of that. I wish I wasn't so flipping crazy that I can barely leave the apartment on most days. I want to be able to drive like he does. He doesn't have hallucinations distracting him. Ugh. His diagnosis is bulimia, depression, and anxiety. And he is on more meds than I am! It's not fair! And we go through the same pdoc at the human service center and he gets free visits because he is on medicaid. He is on both seroquel and abilify, ativan, ambien, provigil, prozac, etc. WTF? And he thinks he needs more meds. How is it that someone with depression/anxiety/eating disorder is on more meds than a person with all my diagnoses? But he gets whatever the hell he wants anyways, so it's no suprise. He has a maid too. And his dad bought him a nice car. He gets custom made jewelery. Spends money on clothes like mad. Never worries about running out of money by the end of the month like I do. His dad gives him however much he needs for what his SSI doesn't cover (like gas money, clothing, jewelery, going out to eat, etc.).

So yeah, I'm secretely jealous of him. We are best buds though and I don't want to ruin the friendship with this jealousy. Any tips on how I can work past this? I am happy for him in all of his success but grrr I feel like a bad person and friend for being so jealous and thinking these types of thoughts. I really do love him very much so please keep that in mind. I know it doesn't sound like it from this post but we are best friends. God I'm just about crying. I feel like a bad friend.

[C. Cat]

You're not a bad friend. Honestly. It's human nature to be jealous or envious of the things we don't have. How else would we know we want to better our selves?

I've been in a similar situation, I met a friend through a counsellor ("you two are both having a hard time, BE FRIENDS!"), he had been moved out of the observed living scheme we lived in (coincidently) and given a flat in a housing scheme and was getting £200 a week benefits, but not on meds, or seeing any other type of therapist. At the same time, I was seeing the counsellor we shared, a pdoc, and on 150mg of Venlefaxine (URGH), and living off £110 every 2weeks.

Part of the moving on process to get flat was showing excellent personal hygiene (they monitored how many baths a week), showing you could cook a few nutritional meals and look after a room. The guy washed once a week, burns pasta, and uses the vacuum to give him self love-bites so people think he's been laid. I can cook and bake, bathe twice a day, and am so house proud that not vacuuming for a day gives me the creeps. I never got a flat. I was in the observed living scheme for 10 months, till I left, the streets were better or me than that.

I was soooooo jealous of him getting that flat, of not having any one to count his baths, of being independent. It all seemed totally unfair. In the end I wound my self up over it so much that I cut ties with him. It hurt to see him living in what should have been 'my flat'.

I guess what I'm trying to say, in a long winded way, is you need to talk to your doc. Don't stew on it. After all, if his mam filled in his forms then its not entirely his fault that he gets more than you.

Jealousy is necessary to human progression, just don't let it destroy you.

Sorry I can't be of more help

[bpladybug]

Gee, I think I am jealous of him too, llama.

What do you have that he does not? A new, loving husband. yeah

[llama44]

Gee, I think I am jealous of him too, llama.

What do you have that he does not? A new, loving husband. yeah

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Thanks guys for letting me vent! And you are right. My new husband is something to be very grateful for!