Ptolomy Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Hello everyone; I'm afraid I'm not very good at putting words in the right order in forums but I'll try. I have read around the web about the mentals for a while. I'd never been very comfortable with forums and such but this seems like a great place. Anway, I have pretty severe ocd. I have been at the point where going out anywhere tended to result in over an hour in the bath washing my head. The canonical ocd stuff has been laid pretty low with sertraline. But I'm still not right at all. There has been talk of depression and asperger's with my psychiatrist. The problem is I'm can't cope with things enough to do them properly: I go to college but miss lessons and get nothing done. I play the piano in the sense that I know how to play the piano but I don't do anything with it. I write computer programs, but so infrequently that all I ever get done is remembering what I'd forgotten while not doing anything. That all sounds like depression when I write it down doesn't it? Today I was supposed to go to the building society to sort out where the money went when I changed accounts and pay back my parents for the money they lent me to buy a the laptop I'm typing into, visit my Grandmother to make her and sandwich and make sure she takes her alzheimer's pills and generally be the enlivening guest, and do some programming or something creative. I have sat in bed twitching while listening to music and inanely internetting. Leaving my room to eat felt bad. The thing is I can't think properly about this. I oscillate between thinging there's nothing wrong with me and I just want an excuse for being a slightly pathhetic character, and thinking I have everything wrong with my brain I hear about ( with a kind of perverse glee). Oh I have tics too, like pushing down a bubble on a poorly laminated poster; If I try to stop moving my jaw, my shoulders start moving and so on. Yesterday said "Swearing isn't a tic, I'm just swearing /at/ the tics" ("fuck you face, you move when /I/ tell you!") Anyway, thank you for enduring my horrific imitation of the English language and ramblings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneMarie Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Yes, now that you wrote it down, it does sound rather like depression. I'm sorry life is full on mental challenges right now, but I am glad that you found CB. Welcome to actively participating. When you get a chance, check out blogs and chat. You may find them nice complements to the main boards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptolomy Posted November 20, 2010 Author Share Posted November 20, 2010 Yes, now that you wrote it down, it does sound rather like depression. I'm sorry life is full on mental challenges right now, but I am glad that you found CB. Welcome to actively participating. When you get a chance, check out blogs and chat. You may find them nice complements to the main boards. Thank you, I'll have a look. I always feel slightly odd posting things on the internet for some reason, I can't put the words together properly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneMarie Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 You've done fine so far. As with many things, with experience comes ease and with ease, words flow more naturally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobertJamesKennedy Posted November 21, 2010 Share Posted November 21, 2010 Hello! This is my first day here I hate to say it but have you talked with your psychiatrist about add? I dont know your age but if you're 18+ they dont like to diagnose or even prescribe but even if not its beneficial (i feel) to know whats going on and understand perhaps depression or aspergers or maybe a combo of add/aspergers? honestly I am no doc (yet) so yours is quite intelligent im sure. good luck and if you are comfortable post back, have a good day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptolomy Posted November 21, 2010 Author Share Posted November 21, 2010 Yeah, I'm 18, though I'm still with the child and adolescent system for another 6 months. We haven't talked about add at all but a few weeks ago she gave me a printout to read about aspergers. She seemed to think I'd already been told about it which was rather a surprise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptolomy Posted November 24, 2010 Author Share Posted November 24, 2010 Well, I have been reading about asperger's and adhd. It is very hard to tell because I seem to be able to believe I have anything if I think about it enough. I do seem to have difficulty functioning around people I'm not used to talking to. I can get obsessively involved with the intricate details of things, like a while ago I bought a microscope and spent hours reading all sorts of articles about it, then torment my family by talking about slide mounting techniques incessantly at meal times. But I don't really have any problems imagining things, or reading between the lines of things and suchlike. I'm not very good at making out people's words if there's any talking in the background though. My parents, read the printout I got from my psychiatrist and concluded it didn't fit because as a child I used to play imaginative games a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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