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New and feeling like hell

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Hi, everyone...

I've been reading the forums here for a few days and decided to register. My tdoc thinks I'm bipolar II (after months of therapy), but my GP is skeptical (after a 2 minute evaluation...hmph). Regardless, they're switching me from my citalopram 40mg to tri-lamictal (I think that's what it's called?) until I can find a good pdoc. My therapist thinks that this will be a good move even though she's hesitant to suggest medication in lieu of a diagnosis, because I'm currently in the throes of a good old-fashioned soul-crushing depression. Citalopram isn't cutting it anymore.

My moods are like a roller-coaster, ranging from positively world-conquering to agitated, thought-racing mind-storms to passively-suicidal depression. Rinse and repeat.

I can be a world-class flake. I tend to join support forums when I'm feeling like this, then my mood shifts and I lose interest. I'm feeling great then, so I don't need to post about how crazy I feel anymore, right? This also hinders my ability to make friends and keep them.

At the moment that's about all the energy I have for describing who and where I am -- I look forward to reading and posting here, and to digging my way out of the hole I'm currently in. I hope to stay for the long run, but only the gods know how that will go. :-/

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Hi. Welcome to CB. I've only been here a short while, but I've been crazy all my life.

Before changing meds, I would highly recommend getting in to see a psychiatrist to get a definitive diagnosis. Changing meds without a Dx makes no sense to me. If you are actively suicidal, perhaps you should get checked in to the hospital and make med changes there?

Is it Trileptal that the doc wants to put you on? Or Lamictal? You can check the meds section of the board for more information about both of those. I need to stop now because I just blanked out for the last while and forgot I was typing. Yay memory.

Good luck! And stick around during your "up" times too, because if you do have bipolar disorder, you may need help just as much then...

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Hi. Welcome to CB. Have a look around. We have Chat and Blogs in addition to the boards. Mods and Admins are around to help out. PM if you have questions.

Lamictal is just plain Lamictal, no preceding 'tri'. It is used for bipolar, but also for treatment resistent MDD. So, even if you are not bipolar it can be an appropriate medication. That said, I would work with a psychiatrist on medication and a diagnosis.

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Thanks for all of the welcome notes, I appreciate them.

I was confused about Lamictal vs. Trileptal too. My GP distinctly said "tri-lamictal," which is now worrying me. I called the pharmacy and found out that what she actually called in is Lamictal though, so I guess that answers that question. I'm feeling even less secure about seeing her for MI issues now. My two favorite quotes (not) from the visit:

"I'm skeptical about you being bipolar."


"You tend to just overthink everything."

Usually I like her for my other medical care, but I'm not digging her attitude about this stuff. I know I overthink things, which is really part of the problem. I overthink things until I want to smash my head into a wall to *stop* thinking about things.

She gave me a pdoc recommendation while I was there, which is good because I'm not having much luck with the list of pdocs that my therapist gave me.

I'm feeling really anxious about going to a pdoc for some reason. Actually for a couple of reasons. First, it feels like it will be so much work to bring a new provider up to speed on who I am, how I think, what my issues are, etc., etc., and that feels overwhelming right now. Also, whenever I go to the webpage for a pdoc who has been recommended, their emphasis always seems to be on medication and medication management. Is it reasonable to expect that a pdoc will actually want to get to know me? To actually manage my illness? Or only that they'll give me 5 minutes of their time like my GP and then hastily dash off a prescription? I'm really nervous about this.

My 7 y/o son has Asperger's Syndrome, and I've been running into this issue with finding a good pdoc for him as well. I have an expectation that anyone who prescribes medication should have a full understanding of what it is that they're trying to solve. Sometimes it feels like doctors are just eager to prescribe something that will help them come up with a diagnosis, which seems backward to me. Does that make sense? Like "if this doesn't work, then it's probably that."

Okay, this ended up being a lot longer than I intended it to be...and it probably belongs on some other board. Sorry!

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