My Crazy Problem

[Confuzzled90]

I am new here and would like to say a little about myself. For the past year, I have been in a terrible state of confusion and desperation. As ridiculous as it sounds, I believe (99% sure) that I have a repulsively strong body odor that disgusts everyone. For this reason, I have become increasingly withdrawn. I no longer leave my house at all now... I cannot go to school or work. No one has told me to my face that I smell, but I swear that I see and hear things that confirm my suspicions (how people react to me). All of the doctors that I have seen as well as my family swear that they do not smell anything, but I think that they are lying. When out in public, I would start to panic if people cleared their throats, coughed, rubbed their noses, or sneezed when I was near. It would seem that this kind of thing happened all of the time, leading me to the belief that I stink. I get these reactions thirty minutes after showering... no matter how many times I shower, I still smell. I believe that I must have some type of metabolic disorder that is causing me to have systemic odor (I believe that the smell is coming out of every pore of my body). Looking for support, I went to a body odor forum. Instead, I believe that this site just makes things worse for me since all of the members say that everyone lies about the odor and it's NOT all in your head. Even though I believe I stink, there's a small part of me that wants it to be in my head. At least the people around me wouldn't be miserable. I've had depression since I was ten, and I went through a period of believing that I was ugly and would obsess over it (I would even think that people were talking about my ugliness). That has gotten better, but now I sometimes have to recheck things, tap on things, and add up numbers in my head. The thing is, I have heard that OCD and olfactory reference syndrome (thinking you smell when you don't) belong in the same family. I'm sorry to write an entire novel but I am miserable because of this. I cannot stop obsessing about it, thinking about past incidents and how bad I smell and how my future is going to turn out. I have thought of suicide numerous times. What's the point of living when you can't leave your own home ever and everyone thinks you're filthy no matter how hygienic you are? I really hope that this is all in my head, but I have seen and heard too much. Hopefully, these are just delusions. I'd rather have OCD than stink forever. Thank you for listening.

P.S - And yes, I am currently seeing a psychiatrist and am on medication. I've seen little improvement though. Hopefully someday I'll be able to go and see a psychologist.

[bpladybug]

You must see a psychologist. Preferrably one trained to treat rare forms of OCD. Please look at this link. It might help you. www.academyofct.org Any psychologist on their national list is trainted in CBT for OCD. Just doing talk therapy might not work, because obviously your family, friends, and psychiatrist have tried to 'talk you out of this'. I am sorry for your suffering. I know, from my exposure to obsessive OCD that it is sheer torture. I can remember one man in particular who was suicidal because of his obsessive thoughts around cleanliness. Please get some help, you can get better!

[Guest Vapourware]

Hi and welcome to the boards.

Maybe a good question to ask yourself is - why would the doctors lie to you? They don't benefit from lying to you and their job is to help you, so what makes you so special that they would single you out as a person to lie to?

[december_brigette]

Hi!

Let me tell you a little factoid about me - I hate showering. right now im good if i go once a week.

several sessions ago my therapist says to me "when was the last time you showered? because you smell - not like a homeless person but almost."

people will tell you if you are stinky...its not something to lie about.

xoxo,

db

[lilbethie66]

i agree, people would not all be lying to you

[aminormal]

This may be an odd answer. But for me I obsessed for years about people looking at my nose. I could never relax as I always felt that whoever I was with was thinking or staring at my nose. I couldnt relax as it was always on my mind. It wasnt as if it was large, but body image to me was that it should look different. I could be reassured until the cows came home, but I still wouldnt beleive anyone. That is the strength of this obsessive behaviour. So I completely understand. In the end I had a minor nose job, removing a slight bump and trimming the end of the nose. It was radical, and I wish I could have been one of these confident people who dont care about appearance, but I did it and then years of this feeling just dissolved away, and I started to relax a little bit. Your friends are probably correct and that you dont smell, but I reckon you could try a similar approach to what I did anyway. charcoal tablets completely handle the smell coming from the intestines up through the mouth. mouth rinse - peppermint handles any mouth smells. And a change in diet, to very very high fruit and vegetables, and limiting meat and starches makes the skin actually smell sweet, after a few weeks. then there is always perfumes. If you are worried that you smell bad, then try instead a perfume that is not highly floral, but try an earthy one such as 'patchouli' = natural oils, that do have an earthy smell anyway.

If you did this, you could be also personally reassured that you do not smell at all and be more confident when you go out.

It is true that the people closest to you will say something about smell if it is true. They say it not to mock, but because they care. You could even pick a freind and see them regularly . each time experiment - each time you see them, wear a different scent and ask them what they smell, and if they like it - they have to be honest then - try jasmine one day, strong clothes washing powder another day, and keep going, until you yourself are assured that they are smelling what you have added to your body and not bad odour.

I had a french friend, who just never bathed. It was not in his custom, in his native island, he swam a lot, but when I knew him in colder climates, he just didnt bathe. He put on the most incredibly strong perfumes each and every day. That was what was offensive. He reeked. Drugs may or may not be fine to handle, but perhaps you could experiment a bit first.

goodluck .

[Anna]

This sounds like a form of body dysmorphia to me, which you state you had when younger, also, which makes this highly suggestive.

You must get some therapy over this, and meds may also help.

Severe body dysmorphia can be extremely debilitating and once you get to the point of isolation, it is very hard to get out of it. YOu may wish to try and find a therapist who specializes in body dsymorphia who will do in home therapy (a lot of them will, they undesrtand the issues).

The BBC had a very good series, I foget what it was called, but they did one episode on B.D. you may wish to do a google search and see if you can find it, and if you relate to any of the folks that they interviewed.

I understand that logically talking you out of it is not going to work, so I'd advise treatment at this point. I very much doubt that you have a weird metabolic disorder, but that's the sanity talking. People like rational explanations for abnormal behaviors and thoughts.

Therapy.

Anna