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I have Ocd which is why I started posting on this board, and luckily my ocd is now in remission (been in remission for a few years now).

Now I'm depressed. I'm posting this because not only do I need to vent, I need other people's opinions on my situation.

I'm 26 (almost 27). I'm still in college. I just started going back to college last semester and I have 2 1/2 years left. I dropped out years ago when I was about 20. I dropped out due to health issues (autoimmune diseases) and also because my parents were forcing me to go when I just wasn't ready. At the time I lived in a small town and there weren't a lot of opportunities. When I moved to the city a couple of years ago, I was really surprised at all of the opportunities I had and places I could really go. So basically when I lived at home in my small town I was confused as to what life had to offer me plus I had health issues. Fast forward to now--I'm really depressed because I feel like I should be done with college now like other normal people my age. I won't have my Bachelors until I'm 30 and that really frightens me and sort of angers me. I feel like I won't have a real job until I'm 30, especially since the economy right now is not good. I've tried finding a job and haven't been able to, so I just go to school full time. Living like this until I'm 30 scares me and makes me feel trapped. I feel like I'm a failure in life and that there's no redeeming myself. Graduating from college at age 30 just seems like being a loser. How do I cope with this?

I should add that after I dropped out of college at 20, I worked and also went to trade school, but even with a trade I currently can't find a decent job that will pay even half of my bills.

Edited by pinky_baby

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Pinky, you are not a failure and you are not a loser. You faced OCD and now are fuctioning better. That takes courage. It takes many people some time to find their way in the world. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Try to enjoy being in college. The economy sucks, so this is a good time to be in school. Try to make the most of this opportunity.

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Guest Vapourware

I've found that no-one cares whether or not you graduated at 30 or 22/23 - in terms of the wider workforce, they are both still young ages. Also, remember you have legitimate reasons for taking longer than other people, so just focus on doing the best you can in college now that you are doing better. I agree that your maturity will help you when it's time to look for a job.

I'll be nearly 29 when I graduate, sometimes life throws us curveballs. The important thing is to bend with whatever happens in life.

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i went to school with 20 year olds, 30 somethings (most of whom just got back from backpacking through europe), 40 yea olds, 50 year olds and one 78 year old woman, and yes, she lived in the dorms with us (go her!) as did one of the 50 year olds i knew. one of my good friends is just going back to finish his last class now (at 35) and his sister did the same. a college education is a good thing no matter when you graduate, and as the others said, you'll have maturity on your side when it comes time for the job hunt (which really is a big advantage). so for now, just enjoy what you're studying - it's the only time you'll be really able to invest yourself in it. ;)

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Im starting Uni (College) Im 25 and I will be 30 when I finish, I just didnt know what to study til now. I dont think you are a loser. I dont think I am a loser. Its natural to stop doing something when you can no longer handle it and continuing to do so could make things worse. Going back to college itself is a massive achievement when you stand back and look at it (yeah its really hard to do in your own shoes, funny that.) FWIW I dont think your a loser. I think you are brave for getting back up and giving it another shot. Thats not an easy thing to do. A loser couldnt do that. A winner can.

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I just turned 30. I was completely freaked to be 30 because all I have done for the last 10 years was travel (when I was 21 I went to Australia for a year instead of going to school because I didn't know what to do) and have a baby at 23. Since then it was on and off as a stay at home mom and a bit of work in a preschool before I tried nursing school and failed miserably. No, I didn't actually fail, it's just my social anxiety keeps me from managing any sort of school type setting. Oh.. AND I split with my partner of the last 11 years and my son and I are living with my parents. So with all of that behind me I have been facing the reality of what my social anxiety has done to me. I can't get a good job without going to school, and I can't handle school, so despite the fact I could do the work, I just can't get the education I need.

And here you thought you weren't doing so well for 27... :P It's really no big deal to still be in school at that age these days, 30 is the new 20 and all that. haha

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I used to be a new student advisor at my school. I'd give tours, advise the new students on what classes to take, that sort of thing. I was always much more impressed with the older students than the ones just out of high school. The older students seemed to be more motivated to concentrate on what was important so they could move on quickly and get to their next stage in life. I definitely never saw these people as being "losers". I'm a little bit older than most of the other students now because I left school for a while when I was struggling with depression. I feel a little embarrassed sometimes that I'm still in school. But I try to remind myself to stay focused on doing well in the moment because it will be so worth it once I get my degree and I can move on.

Edited by poe

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I did not get my Masters Degree until I was 35. I worked as a long haul tractor trailer driver and then a cab driver so i could go to school. My current career is great-I really love it and it is probably the best thing in my life along with my children. So I really think your fine and truthfully your age works to your advantage.

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I was about 26-7 when I finished my SW master's and stuff, and I'm really glad I took some time off between college and MSW and worked other jobs. The older I get, the easier my job is, honestly> Those baby therapists have a hard time sometimes, just due to age/life experience.

Age is an advantage in many situations. Maturity. Life experience. Dont' worry about it. I am glad I waited to find a career path that worked for me and I loved. I did some weird stuff in between, which was cool, (gene sequencing, housecleaning, popping out a kid), so... .yeah. You are not a loser.

Anna

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Thanks everyone for the replies. I read each one and really appreciate it!:)

While we're on the subject of college, and so I don't have to start a new thread, can anyone give me some advice about public speaking? I'm terrified to do presentations. When I was in highschool, I had no problem getting in front of people and projecting myself. Now when I do presentations, I'm startled and more nervous than the average person. How can I overcome this? I feel like I'm the only one that gets this nervous.

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Pinky, since you're in college, maybe you can take a Speech & Theatre 101 class, or something similar. If your college has such a class, it's really helpful in teaching you how to make a presentation. Plus, everyone in the class is terrified, so you can all be scared together.

You might also try to join a group that performs---a chorus, or the drama club. If you had to get in front of an audience, at least you would be with a whole group of people, performing together.

It's also a good idea to practice so much that you have your presentation essentially memorized. That way, the words come out of your mouth even if you are very nervous because you've done it so many times it has become automatic. You could also enlist a friend to listen to your presentation so you could practice putting your ideas across with someone looking you in the eye as you speak.

You're not alone: a lot of people are terrified of public speaking.

olga

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I love olga's suggestions. The last time I was terrified of publc speaking was when my job made me go on the weekly radio show, eek! Right before I did so the first time the person running it told me there was some big drama so EVERYONE in charge of me and heads of stuff was listening. Like, five minutes before. I was scared anyway.

Thanks, person. Thanks a whole fucking lot. It got easier with practice though, I run groups all the time, and after running a 30 plus group of meth maintenance ex cons in East baltimore, public speaking does not scare me. NOR organizing a group. Heh. Maybe you could try that... kidding.

Anna

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