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I am still here

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I am new here. What gives! My name is Elena and I’ve been kind of loopy for almost my entire life (lost childhood*, whoops)

My entire family is a menagerie of wack jobs and I’m trying to kind of sort of not lose my mind as well.

As to what is right with me? What makes me special and awesome in my own right?

I am incredibly scared of being disappointed or rejected or judged… hello social anxiety!

Plus I wake up and wish I didn’t for most days, hello depression!

I’m a bit OCD, slightly neurotic, very egocentric and have massive boundary issues. I mean MASSIVE, walk over me why don’t ya!

I actually thought of tattooing “welcome” on my forehead, you know since I am a do-ho-ho-or-mat!

I hide it all under this very alluring blanket of cynicism and humor, which in turn makes people think I am not that sensitive, big whoops…

Gimme all the weight you can, I’ll pretend I’m fine. RIGHTO!

I have done this now for 26 years, I also talk really, really, really quietly, which in turn makes people shout at me. Not good!

I like therapy and all, but I really, really would just like to be part of a community of like minded people, but woe is me… do I have to erm, see them in real life?

Maybe later, eh?

Oh I forgot, I also have a little bit of an eating disorder. I am not anorexic but I wish I was.

I have a normal weight, but I really, really thing my body is disgusting.

Anyway, it is nice to meet you all. Please don’t judge me by my candor, it’s erm, protective measurements, because it makes me feel like it all AHAHAHA funny, right?

*Like most people I have reasons for all of this, which hopefully if I don't chicken out again will talk about or something

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Elena, welcome! Should we send the welcoming committee to your house? HAHAHAHA!

Just kidding, of course. It sounds like you are nuts enough to fit in here. Please read the rules when you get a chance and don't be afraid to contact a mod or admin if you don't understand something.

I'm glad you found us.


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I consider the folk here the sanest crazy people I have ever encountered.

Or possibly the reverse,

Either way that includes me, which may skew the judgement.

And I'll take cynicism, defensive or not, over rose-tinted fluffy bunnyness any day.

Have you met Samuel Vimes?

"What really depressed [Vimes], when he was at his most cynical, was the knowledge that he wasn't being cynical enough.

Again, welcome,


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Hello! And thank you. Yes, I hope to find out don't I? Sanest crazy people, haha. I think having compassion is very sane. Reading this board there is loads of that going around.

Which I find very reassuring. I am sure I won't always hide, probably the least when I am drunk and start ranting, haha.

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