Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Obsessions are getting BAD


Recommended Posts

I've posted on almost every forum this month I think!

Worry of the day -- obsessions. Particularly in a relationship. Let's say someone doesn't call me for a week... I obsess over them ignoring me, they must not like me, they are trying to avoid me so I go away. And I resist contacting them over and over (Go me for not acting crazy!)

So, then a week later they call. BAM. Obsession was crazy... people that call you aren't ignoring you, nor hate you, etc.

Give me 3 minutes.

Well, we had a short conversation... is that because they didn't really want to talk to me? Did I say something wrong?

New obsession. <-- You are here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am in therapy... and I sort of figured out how to accept the thought and not ruminate on it, but when I transition to a NEW thought, it's intense all over again.

And, my thought comes from jumping to the worst possible conclusion, so pessimistic. So, instead of saying, wow I really look forward to hanging out with this person, maybe he'll have some time next week..... I concentrate on what happened this second, draw the worst possible generalization, and then obsess about that thought.

I know I shouldn't do this, but I can't help it =\

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess I sense that he was clearly abrupt communicating. And we have spoken for 3 hours at a time at least 2 occasions. So, this abrupt communication startled me and triggered the bad thoughts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know it sounds like I'm being stubborn, and maybe this conversation IS feeding into my OCD, but how do I really know I *didn't* say something bad? I mean, not every conversation is amazing and great... so it's okay. But I just wonder how okay it was?

I guess really, I need to just dismiss this and look forward to the future and not try to figure it out. But when I don't get direct assurances, I get antsy and start inventing pessimistic thoughts that *might* be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, perspective is the enemy of ocd. If you can escape the cloying ruminations enough to take a see your obsessions as inconsequential they won't be able to bother you so easily. Even if they're not inconsequential, lying to yourself can /sometimes/ be helpful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mindfulness is cool in these sorts of situations. As is radical acceptance. Radical acceptance = accept the situation and not judge it as good or bad. It just is.

Mindfulness is helpful for a lot of OCD folk, or at least that's what a DBT therapist once told me. There are a lot of exercises you can do - you can find them all over the 'net.

One that is of interest to me is moving beans from one pile and creating a new pile. You pay attention to the bean - what it looks like, the sensation of the bean sliding across the table, etc. Soon you get sucked in to moving beans. Sounds odd, but it works.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The serenity prayer is useful.

God grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I have trouble with all those things, but especially the wisdom to know the difference. I feel like if I don't obsess over these things bad things will happen. Not obsessing feels like apathy to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe my advice about concertedly not giving a fuck probably isn't a very good way of living life. It's important to care about things, to keep coming up with meaning for the sprawl of experiences. But ocd seeps into the part of you that gives a fuck about things, turning them into fragile nightmares that will disintigrate into something awful if you don't do those compulsions /just right/. So you stop caring, and put on some loud music. But just not careing is precariously close to depression.

It's a balance, and I've found the best way of staying on top is to care about lots of things. Talk to lots of people, read books, work on creative things. And once something starts to get polluted with obsessions, give it a rest and do something else, talk to someone else for a while. You can still care about them, just passively for a while.

I don't know if this is a good idea, but it seems to have worked for me, at least briefly. I still get obsessed with things and drive myself mad trying to sully them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...