Ptolomy Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I don't know whether this should go here or in ocd, but I think it's mostly about depression. I have ocd and depression together in a cozy little reactionary relationship. Things have been tolerable with medication for the last few months, but ocd's been getting worse this week and today I managed to totally set it alight. I was working on a circuit board for an electronics project I have going. I managed to give myself a mild shock, and dropped the soldering iron onto a plastic bag. Now most of my obsessions are about contamination from chemicals in plastics, so I panicked and fled the room. The worst depressions I've had in the past have been after incidents like this, where I seem to stop the doubting and accept what I fear as real. I'm really worried about the same thing happening again or would be. But I'm already getting apathetic. And all the comfortable patterns of thought I'm used to are out of reach. One of them was thinking about electronics projects, which won't help much now. I suppose what I want to know is, is there anything I can do to fend off an episode of depression? I don't want to end up suicidal and wandering through the night crying like the time I thought I was responsible for poisoning my best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo 'n dye Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Call your Pdoc, make a soonest appointment with your Tdoc. You need to be seeking professional help--right now. It has been my experience that once apathy sets in there is little I can do to derail either that or depression without some professional input. Best wishes, Indigo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneMarie Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Do you have a therapist? Indigo is right, call the pros. Yes, there are ways, but getting some help will make it easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptolomy Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 Okay. I don't want to call her over nothing; I have terrible anxiety about using the phone. I'm going to give myself one day's seeing how it goes and then call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneMarie Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 That's cool. Do you mean calling your pdoc or therapist? What do you plan to do to help calm down? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptolomy Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 Pdoc. I don't have a therapist. I've been to a music lesson so I'm focusing on that. The only way I have of dealing with this kind of thing is getting something to be interested in, even if it feels disgusting to do. I'm still agitated but I'll be able to cope with getting up and going to college tomorrow. Things started to go wrong in the morning today when I hung around in bed instead of getting out of the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptolomy Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 Well I seemed okay yesterday, if incredibly agitated. But agitated is normal for me. I feel like I've been bracing myself for a blow that hasn't come. Which is probably thanks to meds doing their job and attenuating these happenings. I have an appointment in a few days where I'm going to ask about the constant pacing and writhing that comes with any kind of anxiety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ldo Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I'm glad you're feeling a bit better, but it seems to me that anxiety is often a part of depression, and maybe if your treatment gets a little better you won't have so much of it. Meanwhile, take the best care of yourself you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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