LilacOutsideMyWindow Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I blogged all about my depressive shit, but I'm wondering on this. I'm considering, again, that maybe I should leave dh so he doesn't have to deal with me. I'm not exactly thinking of killing myself, but I am thinking of removing myself from my family - does that make sense? Pdocs office is open soon, and I'm wondering if this is something I need to tell her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Well, suicidal ideation does infer that you want to kill yourself, so if you're not specifically thinking about that, then I wouldn't call it suicidal ideation. However, thinking that you should remove yourself from your family is still unhealthy, especially if your family want you around and haven't given you signals that they don't want to support you. I think it's a good idea to mention it to your pdoc. I think your current line of thinking is influenced by your depression, which is warping your view on where you stand with your family. I think your family would be really hurt if you left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilacOutsideMyWindow Posted February 5, 2011 Author Share Posted February 5, 2011 thinking that you should remove yourself from your family is still unhealthy I get that. I guess I was wondering, mostly because the last time my thoughts went this way, it was to remove me from my family to ease the transition for me leaving this life as we know it. So there I've sort of answered my own question - for me, thinking of divorce could lead to thoughts of suicide. Will keep a closer eye on myself this weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Yes keep an eye out, this kind of thinking is not healthy. Anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Hey, In a marriage, I feel that spouses should love each other for who they are, not what they do for each other. So if I get sick again, I'm no less valuable. If my SO's cancer comes back and all he can do is reel from chemo, I'll still love him just the same. Love isn't about what a good SO you are, it's about who you are. I'm willing to be that you do little things that you discount, that touch your husbands heart. I really doubt that he wants a better wife, he probably just wants to find a way to help you feel better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trooper Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Hey Lilac, I talked to you yesterday I have been thinking about divorce and especially running away from my family as of late, so I know how you feel. I just thinking that It would be easier on everyone if I was not here, meaning not around them, cause I can't handle my emotions and it is a constant drain on everyone to be around me, hell I can't stand to be around me. Just to let you know, I think I understand how you feel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilacOutsideMyWindow Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 I've been sitting with this more. I know it is definitely a product of my depression. Beginning of January I would have never had these thoughts - and didn't. I am working on doing what it takes, during this time, to strengthen my relationship with dh. Leaving would be a (possibly) permanent solution to what is (hopefully) a temporary depression. So keeping an eye on the thoughts. And will call pdoc this morning, even with this cold I now have, I can at least talk to her, if not get in for an appt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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