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Opposite sex connection problem


Guest Loubna

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i'm 19 and i think i have a big problem with connecting with people especially boys. I have no problem in attracting them though. I remember when I just got in campus, all the boys seemed dying to know me and to hang out with me, girls were so jealous and hated talking to me. But i was confused, they all come at the same time flirting with me one after the other. each one of them was like pushing me to choose him but back then i only wanted friends so when i explained that to each one of them they all seemed to go away. and then i was alone, girls hated me and boys were disapointed. after a while i heard that the boys in campus only wanted me because i looked "hot and so easy".

So i tried to avoid people as much as possible just to put myself together and figure out what i really wanted. and i ended up with the idea that if i avoided people especially guys, then i wont seem that easy to them, and only the one who would really want to know me would be the one who'll do the first move. So i waited and tried to not think about that. I focused on other things like studies and making more girl friends. but still i was living in my own world. In school i always looked difficult to chat with or busy. I was confident that the guy that is meant to be with me will come obviously and show himself. but nothing happened.

so i got tired of waiting and started to show myself Alone more often, so that guys would come and talk to me. But nothing never happened. Now I'm sick of it, especially after i heard that most of people think that I scare them, cause i dont talk to anybody and that i transformed myself from a popular girl to a loner.

I dont mind being a loner, but i wouldnt mind having a boyfriend! I have some cool girl friends and each one of them has a boyfriend. and i would like to have a guy in my life too. but it would be hard trying to talk with people to whom i proved im a difficult girl! it's true though that i rejected so many guys that i though they weren't good for me.

Anybody knows what im talking about??

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Not sure exactly what you mean. like once a guy tries to connect with you do you talk to him?

Colin

Yes of course i talk to him, but i try to not look easy. but if i dont like him i try to avoid him.

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I'd say join clubs and activities and get to know guys that way so they are getting to know and like you as a person, not just your apperance/approachability or not. besides which, it will be good for you in broadening your horizions.

Anna

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  • 2 weeks later...

Not sure exactly what you mean. like once a guy tries to connect with you do you talk to him?

Colin

Yes of course i talk to him, but i try to not look easy. but if i dont like him i try to avoid him.

That sounds like a very sensible approach to me. Also from a guy perspective I would say be approachable-smile if you like a guy and let it happen. Be out there as Anna says and yes appearance is huge-I know guys are pigs-but it does effect us. I know it should not but it does-really! Hopefully once you get to know him the appearance thing will not really matter and LOVE will be a soul mate variety :loved:

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