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figured out something about my brain


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last week, i was doing fine. focused, no stress.

friday night, took half an ambien at 12:30a. sister called stressed out at 1a from alaska. stayed on phone until 3a.

well, by then i started hallucinating about things moving. shut my eyes, saw a bunch of crazy images. this ia a result from staying up while on ambien.

next day, i worked. everything seemed backyards. i consciously would put something down on the right only to find out that i had put it on the left. thought for sure that i had thrown something in a specific bin. actually put it in other bin. etc. everything was off. even when trying to use the register, do returns.

i realize that this is the same thing that happened when i had my manic episode 7 1/2 years ago. right was left, left was right. and then later when i smoked pot. no comprehension. even after i had two beers once, my mind was very active and i would see all these interesting images in my head.

i can see the result of stimulation on my brain and then have a hard time functioning the next day.

i think stress acts the same way for me. lack of focus, confusion, poor functioning.

(don't know about caffeine yet, don't want to know!)

wow, i think this also happens when i get over-excited about something.

oh, and i had a little depression today. mini-cycling?

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I don't really know all the whys, but a normal sleep schedule and regular routine helps bp people... anything that disrupts regular hum drum going is bad (Well EVERYTHING disrupts that it seems).

But it's good that you're experimenting to see how different things affect you and planning better! Good luck!

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