I'm Steve Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I was reading through some older posts on the Schiz forum and the member was speaking about how their manias were more irritability, paranoia and psychosis....rather than euphoria. This has been the bugaboo in my accepting a bipolar diagnosis...because I rarely, most rarely have had anything even approaching euphoria. I seem to swing from deep depression ....to....irritability, paranoia and some psychosis. This is what manic depression....bipolar looks like with me. Anyone else live with this kind of reality? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilacOutsideMyWindow Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 *raises hand* I don't get psychosis, but my mania symptoms are irritability, RAGE (I always feel that should be in all caps, as "rage" doesn't capture what I feel), anxiety and the more typical racing thoughts, lack of sleep, desire to spend money, and some paranoia. EXCEPT for the beginning of January, when I think I had my first ever euphoric mania. It was amazing. I only NOW understand how anyone could want mania, could crave that and go looking for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaSue Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 My manias have rarely been pleasant. All kinds of crazy, angry, hideousness. But very little euphoria. I think the absence of euphoria isn't all that unusual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gizmo Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 My manias are rarely euphoric anymore. I'd say, over the past two years, anyway. It's all irritability and agitation and obsessive actions that I hate but can't control. All I can do is just call the doctor when I start getting cranked up and see if a med tweak will help. I definitely feel where you are coming from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Yes, over the years I get less and less euphoric, it's almost like I have burned out "euphoria" in my brain. My first episode was almost purely euphoric at least until I got totally psychotic and it got crazy and scary. Definite trend I've noticed though. Hypo is not fun, because I know irritability and crazy and mean and bitch is coming down the pike shortly unless I DO SOMETHING. Anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wj74 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Unmedicated, yes. Ever since I've been on the higher dose of Lamictal I get the euphoric hypomanias mostly. I hate the rages. I feel inhuman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Red Princess Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 My hypomanic times are marked by rage, anxiety, irritability, anger, and a general forceful spewing forth of venemous thoughts and actions. I've had one euphoric episode, and would love to have it again, to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
humanoid Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I've had both, but more irritable, paranoid and ragey manias than euphoric. I think that's why my first psychiatrist wouldn't consider a bipolar diagnosis, because I never reported that kind of thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exl2398 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 what you guys are describing sounds a lot like a mixed state? my hypomanias are good feeling kind. mixed states are just irritability, rage, depression, and a need to talk a lot or flight of ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryp Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 My pdoc tells me I'm mixed right now. If that's what this is, it blows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahalo Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I very rarely had anything resembling euphoria. I'm not sure about psychosis although there were a few incidents that might fall under that category. But my mania's 99% about irritability, extreme anger (I can be one mean b****) and paranoia (to some degree... it was usually more "everyone hates me and those who try to like me are just setting me up"). So I guess that's hypomania? I had rare occasions where the euphoria hit me but it never lasted very long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
domovoi Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 i've had some euphoria but not a lot and it dimishes over time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I had a mixed state years ago, it was hell on earth. I had a lot of energy and a lot of dark thoughts, and I felt all jumbled up inside. I had racing thoughts, my sleep was out of whack and I was quite irritable. It was medication-induced but no-one realised at the time, so I endured months being in that state. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wj74 Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Yeah, I consider what I have a dysphoric mania. Crazy Red Princess mention that spewing of venemous thoughts, that is exactly what happens to me. Sometimes I can keep it inside my head, sometimes not. It's just ugly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crtclms Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 My pdoc tells me I'm mixed right now. If that's what this is, it blows. Yup, that sounds about right. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I had trouble accepting the bp diagnosis because I thought of mania as being really happy and I have more irritability, paranoia and psychosis. I knew something was wrong, I just wasn't sure what. But, I went to support groups and met people with similar experiences and it helped me. My dx has changed to schizoaffective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mj1127 Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 No euphoric mania ever. Actually, very little mania period, more often mixed. However, when I do have mania it is extreme agitation and irritability, and a bad feeling in my chest. Definitely nothing fun in that. I don't need to be encouraged to take the Zyprexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wemble Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 *raises hand* I don't get psychosis, but my mania symptoms are irritability, RAGE (I always feel that should be in all caps, as "rage" doesn't capture what I feel), anxiety and the more typical racing thoughts, lack of sleep, desire to spend money, and some paranoia. EXCEPT for the beginning of January, when I think I had my first ever euphoric mania. It was amazing. I only NOW understand how anyone could want mania, could crave that and go looking for it. same for me. it made it harder for me to see that i DO have a problem with mania, not just depression (b/c with all that awfulness, you can almost blur the two together). i've had a few euphoric manias and a few more pleasant hypomanias, but mainly "raging bitch" would best describe my manic state, topped off with a healthy dollop of anxiety and paranoia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
withing Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I believe (and someone correct me if I'm wrong) that mixed states are when you're showing signs of mania AND depression at the same time... for example, when I told one of my pdocs that was enraged but to fucking tired to do anything about it he said, "if you ever want to give a psychiatrist a headache tell them you're angry and tired at the same time. It's just not possible." This was before they acknowledged there *was* such a thing as mixed states. Anyway, my hypo-manic episodes are sometimes euphoric and full of things like cleaning and hypersexuality (which really isn't as fun as it sounds). But my but full-blown mania episodes hardly ever are: mostly rage, sleeplessness, paranoia and psychosis. I think I'd like to get a dose of "everything's wonderful with the world" while manic just once - just to see what it feels like, but then again - maybe not. Mania just isn't fun at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rowen Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 My hypomanias are a crapshoot. I've had the euphoria maybe twice. Otherwise it's been irritable, I can't concentrate, everyone annoys me to no end, I'm rude, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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