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I don't want to want to hurt myself :(


koali777

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I'm in so much pain right now over a breakup. I won't get into what's my fault, what's her fault, what's not fair about it, what's good about it... But I keep getting horrible waves of grieving. Everything reminds me of her. EVERYTHING. It physically hurts so bad it's hard to breathe and my legs are weak and my stomach and chest hurt so bad. And I want to hurt myself so much. I keep stopping myself but I'm getting weak. I'm not talking suicide...I'm too chicken to try even if I wanted to. But I really want to cut. I'm tired of these tears and this pain. I can't eat or sleep. I drink alcohol, but it only helps temporarily. Cutting would shock me out of this madness. But I haven't done it in awhile and I don't want to get back into it. I don't know what to do...

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Have you checked out the I wanted to but instead thread? It has some good stuff on there.

You could try alternatives - cold shower with clothes on, drawing on skin, dunking your head in a bowl of ice water, etc.

Are you in therapy right now?

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I resorted to hair pulling/digging d/t apartment hunting, legs are now quite raw...never thought I'd have a relapse!! Have you tried EMDR & DBT? Both have helped immensely the past two years, pretty much went cold turkey on SI.

Sorry you are hurting so emotionally right now.

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