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bpladybug

Narcissistic Mothers

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good article, I can relate having grown up by being my mother's emotional caretaker one moment and her anger outlet the next, I don't know if she is narcasstic but she still holds to the viewpoint that I she was never in the wrong doing all this..oh well thanks for posting this

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Thanks so much for posting this--what an amazing article. I've tried to explain my mother's behavior to many people over the years, but this does a better job of it than I ever have. My mother was never physically abusive to me (although she was to my half-sisters from her first marriage), but most of the other characteristics on there sound just like her. The one about favoritism made me laugh--for years, my mother numbered the three of us to show her preference. My sister M was #1 (she was married to a rich guy and had two sons--my mother's criteria for success). I was #2 because I was the rebellious young one, but doing very well in school and accomplishing enough for her to take credit for. My sister C didn't get a number because she was the outcast. After several years, I was a successful professional in a happy marriage with the pretty house in the suburbs, and my sister M left her husband and her kids were in all sorts of trouble, so I was promoted to #1 and my sister was demoted to #2. C never got a number. My mother stopped using the numbers some years ago...who knows why.

Next time someone asks me why I don't visit my mother, I should just send them this article...

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Thanks so much for posting this--what an amazing article. I've tried to explain my mother's behavior to many people over the years, but this does a better job of it than I ever have. Next time someone asks me why I don't visit my mother, I should just send them this article...

Yeah, just print it out, make multiple copies and you can just hand it to people who don't understand your relationship. My husband's mother has diagnosed NPD. She was a horrible mother. She did not work, she had a comfortable upper middle class llifestyle. She never, never went to her children's band concerts or swim meets. never Her favorite word is 'I'. I I I I I The world revolves around her.

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great article. so much of the stuff in there is just ...so hard to explain, and, like the article says, other people somehow don't believe you when you talk about it. (not that i really ever want to talk about it...)

this was really hard on me, she started doing it when i was around 10, much to my total confusion.

The envy of narcissistic mothers often includes competing sexually with their daughters or daughters-in-law.

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I am ripping this article off of you for my blog post. Sadly, I won't be the first.

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Narcissitic mothers are quite common in my opinion, and it's a rough issue to deal with. Especially when it starts happening with the whole puberty thing going on.... very confusing indeed.

Interesting article.

Anna

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great article. so much of the stuff in there is just ...so hard to explain, and, like the article says, other people somehow don't believe you when you talk about it. (not that i really ever want to talk about it...)

this was really hard on me, she started doing it when i was around 10, much to my total confusion.

The envy of narcissistic mothers often includes competing sexually with their daughters or daughters-in-law.

oh Penny, that is totally creepy

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This particular mother has switched from wanting to control every minute of this teens day to telling me she is going to toally cut her loose. Not support her financially. In a two week period she had an emotional conversation where she told the girl she will ALWAYS LOVE HER, to threatening to emancipate her. Sometimes I think of her as a big spider and we are trying to handle her with long tongs. And I hate spiders, a lot.

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Topic moved. Bitching about people with PDs on the PD board isn't cool.

I'm sorry--I hopped to it from the main page and didn't take the time to look and see what board it was on. That was really dumb of me. I'll pay much closer attention in the future. I hope I didn't offend anyone with my comments--I am trying to better understand what's wrong with my mother so that I can better understand myself (why I overreact to certain actions and people) and work on improving myself. I didn't intend to say or imply anything negative about anyone else's condition other than my mother's.

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I completely believe Sarah Palin is a NPD and I do not mean that with any negative intent I mean it for real!

she really truly exhibits these symptoms to me

ahhh but who am I to judge?

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I am not entirely sure how if at all there was a problem with this post, I do know that I wouldn't want to flog anyone for having a MI, I certain know how it feels to be judged and I don't want to be about that....but as a child I was not equipped to be my mother's mental health practitioner no matter what MI AND I certainly do NOT want to be making my daughters repeat this cycle, so this article was very much a reminder to me a reality of my growing that I must never avoid

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The only problem with the post was that it was first posted on the personality disorder forum which is a place to support people with personality disorders. Since we have a couple members with NPD it's not very nice to complain about them in the forum meant to support them. That's all.

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<P>that makes sense, VE</P>

<P>sorry again if I offended anyone<BR>I get it now, same as someone posting on the bipolar forum about their crazy bipolar mother</P>

Edited by bpladybug

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thank you for explaining, I wanted to not assume and unknowingly do this again. I also apologize if I have offended any one, I am new here and as a PD person, I am sometimes not so good at communicating myself, and often overzealous in trying to work out my "issues" in hopes of a better life for myself, it was good that you brought it up Velvet Elvis

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thank you for explaining, I wanted to not assume and unknowingly do this again. I also apologize if I have offended any one, I am new here and as a PD person, I am sometimes not so good at communicating myself, and often overzealous in trying to work out my "issues" in hopes of a better life for myself, it was good that you brought it up Velvet Elvis

It is a really good sign gonative that you are becoming self aware and working on communication. That can only help with your PD treatment. :)

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Do you suppose there are similar effects if the person who exhibits these described traits is, while not one's mother, still a person one sees daily for many years, and who holds a lot of formative influence? A friend, for example, or sibling.

A complicated equation, this family crap.

crtclms, excellent counterpoint. Not only that, but thank you for the read. I needed that today.

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