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My friends overreacted and thought I attempted.


snow-white

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I was feeling pretty bad last night so I decided the best thing for me to do was to go to sleep instead of being awake and miserable. So I made a post on Tumblr that said exactly this "Goodbye cruel world", a phrase I use fairly often. I often even use variations such as "good morning cruel world" so it's not like it was something never in my vocabulary. I didn't think this would be a cause for any kind of alarm or else I wouldn't have posted it. Anyway, I got ready for bed and took my medication like any regular night, did a weak and useless SI attempt that isn't even worth mentioning and went to bed.

I woke up at like 3 because public safety came looking for me and I saw that I had frantic texts from two of my friends that was them worried about my safety/"we love you"/"be safe". I was really confused because as far as I remembered, I hadn't done anything that would require that kind of response. So I just responded to them saying I was okay because I was really confused. When I woke up in the morning, I was really lost. I thought maybe I had done something in a half-awake state that would require such a frantic response.

When I finally got enough energy to properly wake up, I asked one of them what had happened. Okay so they both freaked out about it (the one who first reacted to it doesn't even know that I'm depressed, fyi) and came in to check on me because they were worried they'd find me passed out in a pool of my own blood or just plain dead or something. They said that I was sleeping really deeply. Well no kidding, I take Seroquel as sleeping medication… and they assumed that I had OD’d (which I couldn’t even do because I need my prescription refilled…) and worried that I would stop breathing once they had left so they called public safety.

I can’t be upset at them for being worried but it’s really frustrating that they had to overreact like that. Alright. I’m not mad at them for reacting that way but I’m irritated at the way people are treating me today. I feel fine now. I don’t need people to tell me they love me every 5 seconds. I don’t want people asking if I’m okay. If anything, last night just emphasized why I don’t tell people when I’m upset.

When I walked into the room after class, my suitemate was interrogating me about what had happened and I said I was fine and she asked me all accusatory "Well then why did you make that post?" Yes, of course I made that post as a sneaky pseudo-suicide note because I wanted everyone to think I was OD'ing and keep all my friends from sleeping on a school night. trollololol~ ..... not. What kind of a question is that really? I apologized to all of them because I felt guilty for keeping them up at night but my female friend didn't respond to either of my apologetic text messages and I just feel awkward seeing her. Prior to this incident she barely was talking to me because she's head over heels for her boyfriend and they are inseparable to the point where it's beyond obnoxious.

Do you guys think that they overreacted? Would you have reacted the same way? Hours later and I'm still really confused...

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If I knew you were upset/depressed, and saw that post - heck even if I didn't know you were depressed - I'd have been very concerned for you. The wording in that post is highly charged - definitely sounds to me like you were checking out for good. I'm glad you have friends that act on their concern. I suggest editing what you post before you hit "comment' or "send" or whatever it is on tumblr.

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goodbye cruel world is pretty highly charged. it's not like you said, goodnight, you actually said goodbye, which is easy to misinterpret as suicidal type language, especially coupled with the rest of it.... And they did come to check on you and were unable to wake you, so i can definitely understand your friends reacting the way they did.

i'd suggest removing that phrase from online posting, for, if nothing else, your own peace of mind.

Anna

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I would have reacted that way if I were your friend too. Tumblr is a tricky place because if you write one little thing, people can take it the wrong way and the next thing you know you're being assessed by mental health professionals for admission into a Psychiatric Ward. I guess it shows you that your friends really do care about you and your safety.

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And they did come to check on you and were unable to wake you, so i can definitely understand your friends reacting the way they did.

i'd suggest removing that phrase from online posting, for, if nothing else, your own peace of mind.

Anna

They didn't try to wake me up. They just watched me sleep and determined that I was in a deep sleep. If they had tried to wake me up, the whole thing could have been avoided.

Edit think I'm being mean. Think about what if you saw one of your friends say that online though. What would you do? Sounds attention grabbing, no?

My friend and I say that to each other all the time so it's not a big deal for me. If I heard someone who never says that use that phrase, yeah I would be concerned. It's one of those phrases I have built into my vocabulary. Eg. Like if I was on my way to go take a final for my chem class I could potentially follow that statement up with "goodbye cruel world"

But I guess people take me more seriously than I take myself.

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Guest Vapourware

Maybe your depression is showing a bit more than you think it is?

It might be a bit mortifying for you at the moment, but I think you have some very good friends who were very concerned for you.

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Maybe your depression is showing a bit more than you think it is?

It might be a bit mortifying for you at the moment, but I think you have some very good friends who were very concerned for you.

Looking back on it I probably would have normally said "goodnight" instead of "goodbye" but I honestly was feeling awful last night and if I had the potential to attempt, it would have happened. Fortunately for everyone, I'm not (this is the wrong word but I'm at a loss->) brave enough to do it. I guess I probably just said it like that without realizing it because I was too concerned with getting to bed and not feeling upset anymore that going to sleep became less of sleep and more of a temporary escape.

I just feel stupid about it because I hate getting this kind of attention. I know they care about me and I'm not arguing that, but I don't like being treated like that. I keep most of my depression to myself and my therapist for that reason and I dislike when it's discussed outside of the places I'm used to. I just don't want it to be a defining characteristic, if you all can understand.

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I can see why they were worried. I also get it that we sometimes make throw away comments without thinking about how others might read it. I think you now know that it's not something to write down any more. Your friends don't see any of the verbal cues when it's words on a screen, whereas if you say it in face to face conversation they can see that you're reasonably okay.

I hope their concern will always be there for you. So on that count, I agree with what others have written here. But I know you also need your space and on this occasion you were okay. It can be tricky getting that balance right.

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