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You can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. I agree that a therapist could possibly be helpful.. however it's a stretch to say that she's depressed. That's something that only a professional should decide.

This is also a first-person site. Not a site for loved ones to try and find help for another person. I wish you and your wife the best.. but this is the extent of what we can do for you.

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I was once in your position. Maybe it's time for a little tough love. Tell her that you cannot do anything for her and you will not feel any pity for her unless she decides to help herself (by getting therapy or taking meds). After all, if she were diabetic, wouldn't you say that she needs to get medical help before you could help her?

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My depression was so bad last year that I refused to get any help, or even do the slightest thing to try to feel better (exercise, better eating, etc.) My husband and trusted friends were all urging me to see someone, but I wouldn't. I wasn't going to get healthy until I decided that I needed help. I used to be one of those folks who hated taking any medications, but over time I realized that I have a physical illness, in my brain, and I need the medicine to help my brain be healthier. I think all you can do is be supportive and encourage her to get help, but not push/force unless she's posing an immediate danger to herself.

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muffins, as cetkat pointed out, this is a first-person site. If you are looking for support in dealing with your wife's condition, you really need to find a website for spouses of mentally ill people. We are all mentally ill, and this is a peer support place for us--not for spouses.

olga

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