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And once again I'm back to the start.


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I didn't call my pdoc, but I stayed home from school today. So right now I've just completely crashed down into a depressed state and I told my friend, who proceeded to go off on me about how I choose to be fucked up and feel bad for myself and I'm just looking for attention. I want to hurt myself now, because all I want is to feel better, and have somewhere to vent. She used to be my somewhere, and now she's not there. I'm incredibly upset and kind of suicidal at this point, but I can't tell my mom. I can't go anywhere, I can't tell anyone because I can't go to the hospital or a day program or something. I don't have the money, and the stress of going somewhere would just make everything so much worse. I don't know what to do, I'm just in such a bad place right now...

I should have called my pdoc today, I really should have but I felt better earlier, it just started now.

What should I do...?

Thanks for reading...

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I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. Don't listen to your roommate. No one who doesn't suffer with depression knows what we go through. Definitely call your pdoc if you are still having such a hard time.

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When is your regularly scheduled pdoc appt?

It doesn't make sense to wait long given the depression you are cycling thru. Waiting very long results in unnecessary torture and is the type of decision that depression would make. If your depressed periods are as bad as they sound, your meds may need adjusting. That's a change easy for a pdoc to make AND it is the purpose of having a psychiatrist in the first place. They work for you. They are there to help. They can't do anything if you don't tell them what is going on. So, if you appt isn't soon, call to get it moved up. Also, your parents probably have insurance and really do not want you to live in pain. If they are like most parents, having you well is the most important thing.

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I second stacia in suggesting you call your pdoc as your mood seems to go in and out quickly.... waiting until you have another episode (AND what if it's at night?) just seems like adding things to the pile...

Anna

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... I'm incredibly upset and kind of suicidal at this point, but I can't tell my mom. I can't go anywhere, I can't tell anyone because I can't go to the hospital or a day program or something. I don't have the money, and the stress of going somewhere would just make everything so much worse. ...

I doubt that you will be hospitalized or go to a day program, unless I'm missing part of the back story, and I certainly wouldn't let that me hesitate to contact the pdoc. Your pdoc's goal is to get you stable, and the hospital is not usually the first choice. Hope you are able to get into to see your pdoc soon. Trust me, your parents won't mind the expense for your health.

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