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I must take a bath before I cook/clean

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Although I haven't been diagnosed with OCD yet in therapy, I am a hoarder. I haven't gotten really bad yet, but if I don't stay in treatment for my MI it will get to the point where I can be on the Hoarders show.

I am really concerned about always having to take a bath before I cook something or clean the house. Even if I took a bath/shower earlier that day, I have to do it again before I will cook or clean. If I don't bathe, then I absolutely won't cook/clean. I try to tell myself to do it after I'm done cooking or cleaning the house, but I get upset and ruminate over it. I used to use the tub to self-soothe when I was upset (and still do). I have no idea how long I've been doing this bath/cooking/cleaning house thing, but it's starting to really bother me. I need to address this with my new therapist, but heck they've already thrown on new diagnosis on me.

How is a person BPD, PTSD, Depressed, Anxious, and throw in a little OCD for flavor?

Sometimes I just want to throw my hands up at it all. FML. Ughhh

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Thanks for your responses. I absolutely will bring it up. I just started with a new Tdoc and Pdoc (my state insurance is new and I must see a Tdoc at the same facility that my Tdoc is in). I've had 1 visit with each so far. I will bring it up in my next session. I'm starting fresh again (with the docs), but I am going to be proactive. This is the worst my symptoms have ever been, so I'm scared that I'm going to deteriorate and be unable to dig myself out of a hole.

But the one thing I know is that I can't stop myself from bathing before I do these things. I had to take a bath to put some bagel bites in the oven for the kids tonight. I may start charting these behaviors. I dunno.

Thanks again~

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