Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Bad Things Happening to Good People Sucks!


llama44

Recommended Posts

So, I've lost a total of $40 this month. I had two twenty dollar bills and they just fell out of my pocket or wallet and are gone. Not sure how the hell that happened. But it got me thinking. What the fuck? I am a good person. I care too deeply. Do everything in my power so people around me don't get hurt. Help others out constantly, overkill even. I donate money to charity (even though I'm on SSDI and a VERY limited income). I donate money to this site when I can. I buy fleece and yarn and make blankets to donate to the YWCA. I'm not selfish or self-centered. My family is lower to mid, middle class. So I'm not spoiled. I don't "work the system." Didn't lie about anything on those income forms. I lost my food stamps and medicaid when I got married. Even though together we make what I would consider an mid, middle class person would make. Yeah, we're poor and in debt (student loans - $35,000 and state hospital bills - $60,000+). Plus meds each month, groceries, rent, we are looking to buy a cheap starter town house, phone bill, cable (yeah, we could do w/o this I know), necessities, heaven forbid we spend some on entertainment, gas money, pdoc visit bills, etc.stuff I'm forgetting

I'm broke all the fucking time and I'm sick of it. But every time I try to work I end up in the loony bin. How is that fair?

But today losing that $20 bill really pissed me off. I believe in karma. I do more good than bad to this world. I suffer all the fucking time with these multiple MI's I've got. I volunteered all through high school. Even when a teen and younger (4-H) I volunteered and was never selfish with my time or money. I would give money to my brother who didn't manage it very well (allowance lol).

Yet all this bad shit happens to me all the time. Yes I'm whining and I know it. So you can tell me to fuck off or that I'm throwing a pity party. Fine. But please understand how stressed I am over $$ at the moment.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

llama, you really don't know if you know your friend's whole story. She may have experienced more severe symptoms in the past than she's comfortable discussing now. She may even be currently experiencing more severe symptoms than she's letting on. And you really don't know what her family's financial situation is. In the current economy, a lot of well off people have suddenly found themselves in trouble, struggling to pay mortgages on houses they can't possibly sell at the moment, and such. No matter what her family's finances, if she's an adult, she's perfectly entitled to apply for a and receive disability income. It really isn't any of your business.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LLama44,

I can totally relate to this way of thinking. I am soo sick of people abusing the system and I got people I my own family who abuse the system. Yup these folks talk openly about how they screwed the government. I got one relative who's motto is kids make you money. She never had to work a day in her life. It sucks to watch these folks abuse the system and know we are all paying for it.

I often talk about these feeling with my tdoc given the fact the my husband and I have been trying to conceive for a couple with no luck. She always tells yours feelings are yours feelings . FEEL THEM..and remove yourself a way the person or situation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is just not how I imagined my life turning out. It wasn't supposed to be this way. So what do I do? I try to do as much good as I possibly can for everyone and everything and spread myself thin. And then today I lose my last $20. Really? It was just like the last straw for me, you know? I mean I am not going to stop giving or caring but it just irks me that others who have so much give so little and milk the system and take what they don't need. I hate sounding so jaded but I've seen how it really is since I was a kid. I've always been very insightful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

crazycatlover, I know what you mean. My sister talks of her friends who have kids just for the check at the end of the year. You know, the tax return money. Currently neither of them work and they live off what they get for their kid gov money. They are even talking about having more kids to get even more money from the gov.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok so a daughter, a father, a step mother all in one house sharing food and shelter and lying about rent paid. That is not considered a household?

I am not the bad guy here. Just repeating what I've heard. People wanting to pump out kids and live off gov money. I personally know of someone who actually stated doing this. I don't know how she is doing this as I never plan on trying it myself. But let's not be foolish here. Obviously people milk the system. It happens.

Not saying that you are doing this at all dianthus. In fact I know u r not. And dads should pay their fair share. And if your child is disabled then he or she deserves help for meds and dr appointments from the gov by all means.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know someone said this before here but I would seriously give up my two legs if it meant I could work for the rest of my life. I'm on ssdi. I want to work a decent job so badly. I miss the socialization and the extra money. I miss being more independent. I miss being able to drive w/o panic or delusions. I loved my job. I miss being around people all day. I miss helping people. I gotta stop before I start crying too hard now. I'm only twenty seven and my life has no meaning or purpose. I have passion in certain areas and I want to help people. But instead I sit alone all day in our tiny apartment and meet with my case manager weekly. Yay. Yeah my husband works but never went to college so he doesn't bring home boat loads of money either. We get by most months though. But seriously sometimes we have to decide against getting me inpatient care because the bill may be more than we can afford. Or say no to a med because there is no generic. Losing Medicaid was awful. Even if my pdoc wants to put me on something more or increase a med I don't think we can afford it. So there you have it. I'm fucked. I really don't see my situation improving. And that's why I get pissed when people milk the system.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok I understand. But don't you have to report for SSI the income of others you live with? Nuff said.

1) You don't actually know what she does and doesn't report. You suspect she's up to no good, but you don't actually know.

2) No, I don't think you do have to report the income of peopole you live with for SSI. For food stamps, I thinnk you have to report info. about any people with whom you share food, but that's it. The kind of reporting you're talking about would make it just about impossible for recipients to live with anyone, in one way or another.

3) Why do you care? You probably don't realize it, but fixating on this woman this way looks just incredibly petty and mean spirited. No matter what she is or isnt' doing, or is or isn't reporting, it's nothing to do with the skipped cost of living increase. That happened because, given the crappy economy, the usual indicators by which the cost of living is judged didn't show its having increased. Hence, no SS increases on its behalf.'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dont know!!! Because I get easily paranoid about situations and people!!! I wouldnt say I'm being mean spirited. I'm not a mean person at all. The more I thinnk about it the more I think the world is out to get me. I'm to have rich friends milking the system to rub it in my face. I'm gonna lose forty bucks. People are going to be rude and go out of their way to be that way no matter how nice or giving or helpful I am!!!! No matter what I do. I could give up my whole months check to this site or the YWCA and I could live out on the street and people would still milk the system just to rub it in my face!!! She doesn't report the income of her wealthy dad! I reported the income of my then bf and lost all my food stamps! We weren't even sharing food! My caseworker told me I had to report the income of those in my 'household'. That's that.

People are out to screw me over no matter what I do!!!! I am getting so worked up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Icant go on like this much longer. I swear. No one takes me seriously. "you can control yourself." "you're not crazy." "you don't need a new mind." says my husband.

I'm getting all these thoughts. I don't trust my husband at times a lot of the time. My head just aches from racing. I just get so worked up and mad that I cry. I just cry cry cry and rant and rave to my husband. Who will probably leave me soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ian so close to snapping!!!!!! No one takes me seriously though! I hide so much of this shit. To protect others. I don't want to scare or hurt anyone. It's also how I was taught to grow up.

I don't know if I can ignore my friend milking the system. When there are others in need!! People on the streets. She doesn't report everything. I know it. For what? So her wealthy parents can save $860 a month? That's more than I get!!!!!!! How does that even work!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Im really upset that someone has called me a mean person. And after saying some of the good I do just a tad of it I get called a mean person. I really do a lot more for mynmom's church and charity organizations through there. To have a shitty and stressful day. And to be in the midst of a mood episode with some weird thoughts going on and I'm just a "mean" person. I just have to keep in mind that SS doesn't know me or the wealthy girl on SSI milking the system. There are so many details I'm leaving out about her. I don't want her to find these posts on the Internet. So I'm going to have to leave it at that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

llama, i don't think you're a mean person.

i know people who abuse the system here the same way, for various reasons. sometimes it really is plain selfishness/entitlement, and that makes me angry (because it makes the rest of us look bad, too). most times, what i see are women who don't believe they have the skills to make a living any other way. they honestly believe that having kids is the only redeeming thing they can do in life. they aren't selfish, but they have no self-esteem, no education, no family support, and often come from homes where being on assistance of some kind is the norm.

i believe you when you say the details add up to some kind of abuse of the system, because it happens. we just have to be careful not to paint everyone with the same brush. fwiw, i don't think you're doing that.

what i'm wondering is what you would gain from reporting her. do you think someone else more deserving would get that money instead, and some kind of justice would be achieved? it would be great if that were true. but i don't think it directly works like that.

i'm sorry you feel like being a good person just never pays off. i feel that way a lot too, especially when i'm symptomatic (i either feel bad for myself, or i'm really angry at how others seem to have it so much easier and yet complain). when i feel good, i am able to think a little differently. i think more often about what others don't have, and how lucky i am to have what i do.

i'm not on assistance anymore, but i was on disability for my MI for several years. while i went to university, i was on social assistance as a single parent. i know how bad it sucks to be that poor. i know how resentful you can get being the kind of person who will share her only meal if someone is hungry, and yet it never seems to come back around. it's a LOT of stress just being poor, and being MI makes it even harder. i'm sorry you're in this truly sucky position.

as i write this, i'm home on temporary leave from my minimum wage job because i'm too nuts to work. i'll be applying for unemployment benefits for my time off. it'll only be a little bit, but it'll make up for some of what i'm missing. i'm incredibly lucky to be married to someone stable enough who makes enough to pay the bills until i'm well again. if for some reason i'm still crazy in a few months, those benefits will end. here in canada, i won't qualify for disability because my husband can get us by. that situation where your friend lives with her parents and still gets full benefits would not happen here. they consider family income if you are related or in a partnership of any kind. if you have roomates you aren't in a relationship with, you and those people have to sign sworn documents that basically say you aren't sleeping with anybody in your house and you aren't related to any of them.

i think if karma exists, it can show up in ways you aren't asking for. right now it seems like karma owes you some financial stabilty, huh. and someone to be kind and understanding. i think being who you are and continuing to be kind is more likely to bring you things you haven't imagined yet.

i used to wish that being disabled didn't have to make me poor, that benefits actually reflected cost of living. my benefits never changed. i watched people in my neighbourhood get money for things when they sooo did not need to do that. i would be so frustrated and wonder why being a decent person wasn't enough. i hated the idea of karma because it never seemed to be true. life wasn't fair. it still isn't.

instead of getting better benefits, something happened that i never ever expected - i got well enough to work (most of the time, sigh). something GOOD came to me that i wasn't asking for, because i had given up that it would ever happen. the consequences of that is that now i can earn more money (it's minimum wage, but it's more that what i had!).

maybe something like that is coming your way. not the working part, i just mean SOMETHING that restores your faith in the world.

i wrote a book but your anger really reached out to me this morning. i hope talking about this makes you feel better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...