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How about, "I wish I could sleep around the clock until I am no longer manic or depressed." I have tried but to no avail. In any event, I wish I hadn't posted that. Kind of pointless unless one is taking to oneself, which I am good at.

(edit) And yes, I am safe. Thank you.

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Thank you all. I'm on depakote (750) and seroquel (400 xr). Dropped the lithium. Next appt is 4/30/11. May try to move it up if I have another day like today.

Doc is devoted to me (I don't think I'm wrong there). Very supportive family. Wife is understanding but I am withdrawing. Kids are wise. One kid has it, so I do need to plow on.

I have klonopin but don't know if it works with depression.

Sasha (if you don't like the diminutive let me know), it's not a crash so much as recurring waves (bad metaphor for the times). Got in an altercation today with a cop in traffic court and that probably started the day's decline. Just too combative for my own good. It's like, if I want to fight, where am I on the spectrum? Feels like depression most of the time now.

I will make it, I've always made it. This is a long one, and they seem to be getting worse. I am glad this board is here. Cyber love and all that. Thanks

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bpladybug,

Not the same cop who ticketed me on Super Bowl Sunday. The cop at the metal detector yesterday telling me I had to take my cell phone out to my car. Of course it turned out that many people in the courtroom had phones. Just stupid on my part getting bent out of shape.

This has gone on too long. Sometimes it feels very painful, sometimes it feels like I am choosing the illness over the pain of the real world, sometimes it feels like the two are the same.

Willin'

(Edit: without the weed, whites and wine -- wife's middle name is Alice so the lyrics work out quite nicely)

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