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I probably should have kept my mouth shut


confused

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My son is in third grade. He stayed home from school one day months ago because he was sick. Now, he keeps telling me he doesn't feel well and he should stay home from school. But, he feels okay when he wants to play or do other things. I've asked him if there are any problems at school. He told me some kids bother him, but they bother everyone. Finally, he told me he thinks his teacher is mean. That she yells and his friend always gets in trouble when he doesn't think it's fair. He was happier when he had a substitute for a few days. My husband talked to another parent who helps out at the school and she said his teacher does yell, but she didn't think the others would be any better.

Anyways, we had his parent-teacher conference yesterday. He's doing okay, and really well in citizenship. I brought up to his teacher how he hasn't been wanting to go to school. He is getting over another cold, so she said that's probably why, but that if any kids are bothering him she wants to know about it. And, that he doesn't get in trouble in the class. Afterwards, I felt like I shouldn't have bothered to bring it up at all.

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You should look into whether this teacher is yelling at the kids. She could very well be a big asshole.

Thanks. She seems nice, but my son likes most people and school, so she could be. I think I talked to the wrong person, though. If I was going to bring it up I should have talked to the principal.

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Actually, you may want to schedule a meeting for him with his school's psycologist or counselor and see if they can get to the bottom of what's bothering him. From there, you might be able to work with the school in some way so that he wants to go to school. Or you may want to enlist the help of a private child psychologist.

No matter what, I think you should take your kid seriously and try to figure this out. You don't want him to start disliking school this young.

I just get the feeling this is something that needs attention.

Thank you. I'm really not sure if they have a counselor, but I could find out. That sounds like a good route. You're right, I don't want him to dislike school.

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You should look into whether this teacher is yelling at the kids. She could very well be a big asshole.

Thanks. She seems nice, but my son likes most people and school, so she could be. I think I talked to the wrong person, though. If I was going to bring it up I should have talked to the principal.

Yeah it's hard to tell what the truth is at a young age. I would look to other's opinions on this teacher as well.

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I had a horrible 1st grade teacher. She had 3 rows of desks, smart, average, and dumb. That is what they were called. I was in the dumb row. I have a Learning Disability. No one noticed how very high I scored on the IQ test.

She had been teaching for years, no one had done anything. Fortunately my parents listened to me. They got a psychologist and a lawyer. The teacher had her license pulled and the school paid for my treatment. Mom called some other parents but all thought the teacher was great....their kids were not in the dumb row.

Moral...listen to your kids. Horrible things happen in school.

nf

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I had a horrible 1st grade teacher. She had 3 rows of desks, smart, average, and dumb. That is what they were called. I was in the dumb row. I have a Learning Disability. No one noticed how very high I scored on the IQ test.

She had been teaching for years, no one had done anything. Fortunately my parents listened to me. They got a psychologist and a lawyer. The teacher had her license pulled and the school paid for my treatment. Mom called some other parents but all thought the teacher was great....their kids were not in the dumb row.

Moral...listen to your kids. Horrible things happen in school.

nf

That's terrible. I'm glad your parents listened.

I'll talk to a couselor if they have one or the principal.

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Hi there,

I'm sorry that your son is so unhappy.

The teacher may seem nice, but some bullies are great at being nice when it fits their purpose.

It is good that you brought this up with the teacher. She knows that you're watching and that your son talks to you. It would be terrible if he clams up.

I think the thing is to assume nothing. It might be the teacher or it might be other students causing the problem.

Good luck

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