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When the dawn beaks


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How much is to much? after 40+years I know.I tried so damn hard,but in the end it's the same old shit,lost loves,stigma,fear,loss of faith.Then you have to turn around when the dawn comes and your well again,and fight like hell to prove to everyone that your the decent person they once new.Sicking and insidious.I am very weary and I can't sleep,3 days now.I'm having an eternal struggle of do I or don't I seek help at the hospital,my friends would think me even weaker.People think that to take ones life a sign of weakness,"the easy way out" ain't nothing easy about it,in fact it's pretty fucking scary.Healthy people love to label us,the list is long.I'm just doing my best hour to hour.The sun will break before me real soon I hope

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I'm in a similar place, decades of pain and no relief. I am sorry you feel this way. If there is help available to you, take it. Don't worry about what other people think of you-- if your friends are true, they will not think you weak for needing help. If they do, fuck 'em. Find new friends that understand you better.

Be well.

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I'm in a similar place, decades of pain and no relief. I am sorry you feel this way. If there is help available to you, take it. Don't worry about what other people think of you-- if your friends are true, they will not think you weak for needing help. If they do, fuck 'em. Find new friends that understand you better.

Be well.

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Thank you,in my life I have noticed a pattern when I'm felling well,or even a little manic which drive my creativity friends and my new ex picked up on this.I am very giving but as soon as the darkness and isolation rapes me,jokes are made,insults abound they all desert me,I don't believe I have found a true friend or mate.For 2 decades it's about what I can give when I'm well it reminds me of parasites.The older I become this realization haunts,and crushes my reason.I quit my band and now my band mates keep calling,I just said fuck you all shut off the phone i need solitude so I cay make sense out of my last descent.I don't want this same shit it never is going to change,to have faith in God is one thing to have faith in this disorder is a fools bet.USED and humiliated again

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STAY. ON. THIS. SIDE. OF. THE. GRASS. If for no other reason than to throw the lemons back at the rest of the world. It's hard as hell to be us, but life has some pretty awesome stuff worth sticking around for. So fight the good fight today, go get the help you need.

Hell, I'm going to be the crazy lady in the multi-colored house on the hill someday, dancing in the front yard in her nightgown in the middle of the night. But I'll have my sane days too, hopefully for months and years, when nobody will know about that and I can just be "a little eccentric" with my writing and charcoals.

Stay with us, go to the hospital, see your doctor. Talk to friends.

You are worth fighting for.

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you are not weak. the fact that you are considering asking for help is a courageous step in the right direction. I don't want to lose a friend.

Thank you Pirate I value you as far away friend
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